Family doesn't want to travel 2.5 hours to my "hometown". What can we do?

melbenso

My FI and I live about 2.5 hours from my home town.  We are having the wedding in our current city.  Not one of my family members has indicated that they will not come because of the distance from the town I grew up.   (I have a cousin who lives on the other side of the country.  He said he likely won't be able to make it, but that has nothing to do with the current hometown vs. town I grew up in wedding location. I also have a 101-year-old great aunt who won't be able to make the trip down, but the chances of her being able to attend a wedding in the city I grew up in are also pretty slim, just based on her age and health.)  While my mother has said once or twice that she wishes we were getting married up by her, it's more that she doesn't feel she can help me plan as much being farther away.

Unless everyone you want to invite to your wedding lives in the same place, some people are going to have to travel for the wedding.  I know the "it's your day" thing gets overused and is sometimes an excuse to breach etiquette, but in this case it's 100% true and appropriate.  You and your FI are getting married.  Have the wedding where you want it. As a general rule, if you are inviting any out of town guests, it is a good idea to reserve a block of rooms at a hotel.  Some of your out of town guests might not be able to make it.  Some of your in town guests might not, too.  It's pretty unusual for every invited guest to be able to attend a wedding.  Your mother will learn to live with it.  And I would venture to guess that most of your family members will be willing to make a 2.5 hour drive to see you get married. 

I am going to have my bachelorette party in the city I grew up in a week before the wedding, because 2 of my 3 bridesmaids still live there and the other grew up there and can stay with family and still attend even though she now lives several states away.  And my mom asked me to bring my wedding dress home sometime shortly after I get married and go over to my great aunt's house and try it on for her, because it would make her really happy.  So, I will likely do that too.

erinlin25

2.5 hours is not horrible to ask of people, but reality is some people may have to decline because they would not want/can not travel. 

I moved 4 hours from my hometown to my husbands hometown.  We planned our wedding "in the middle" so one family did not have travel too far.  95% of our guests were in attendance and the only ones who did not come were out of state people who we knew from the start would not travel.  Many out of state guests were able to make the trip and every guest invited from CA whether 1.5 hours away or 6+ hours away made the trip... and I had a Friday evening wedding.  point is many circumstances could determine whether a guest could or could not make it, and most of the time if people can swing it travel would not be the deciding factor, especially a little road trip.   

it is risk, but I would doubt people would just automatically say "no" just because they had to travel.  As long as you know your VIPs are ok with it you are good to go-- and even with that if you are paying you ultimately get to make that decision.  Just don't be sad/take is personal if a lot of people do decline--instead use the extra money in your budget for upgrades.  It sounds like your mom is trying to guilt you into getting married closer (my parents had the same worry when we told them we did not plan on getting married in my hometown).  But once they saw the venue we liked, and plans started falling into place (not to mention how much money they saved with me not getting married in the bay area!)  they were happy.