NWR: UPDATE - another one? Begging is not a good look

Angusaur

I posted this on my own thread, but I have an acquaintance who is a facebook friend. She has asked for people to buy her eggs and milk and bring it to her. She's asked to bring 5 loads of wet laundry to anyone willing's house and use their dryer. She has asked me for food I was going to throw away by texting several times at 6 AM. Umm no.

Amyzen83

WTF? Isn't that what food stamps are for? Plus if I were that desperate to save money from going to a laundry mat, I'd use a hair dryer or my heater to dry my own damn clothes!

WildMagelet

Amyzen83 said:

WTF? Isn't that what food stamps are for? Plus if I were that desperate to save money from going to a laundry mat, I'd use a hair dryer or my heater to dry my own damn clothes!

Or just line or lay flat to dry indoors.  Seriously.

cowgirl8238

I have to chime in as my cousin recently started a gofundme drive last week.  I want to start by saying that I understand losing your husband to a car accident is something I wish on nobody.  But I do feel (as does my FI and others around me) that what she is doing is a little over the top.

My cousin's husband died at the age of 31 in a car accident last Thrusday morning.  He was the bread winner of the family as my cousin does not work.  The reason she doesn't work is beyond me, she is a known self-pitier, she has diabetes and she has RA and she has this and she has that...in other words every week it is something else. 

I get that her life isn't easy because of her limitations but she also turned down a fully paid college tution (from her father) and instead decided to work in a pet store.  Her mother (who divorced the father when she was a teen) fully supports everything she does and often uses her daugther as a crutch in life.  Again, I am not upset with my cousin and I feel bad, but sometimes you just want to smack her and be like, "stop pitying yourself and go do something about it!"

So although I have no doubt that my cousin will be in need of finanical help, I can't help but sie eye the fact that on SATURDAY morning she posted a link to a fund she set up for herself. In the description it states that she wants money to help start a savings account and fnd her animals...

The funeral services were on Monday and Tuesday, and were completed paid for by the late husbands family.  She has also ince increased the goal from the original $10,000 to $25,000.  I am sorry but it just feels to be in such poor taste to put up a fund and solicite money from people who just lost someone in their lives.  Maybe it is just me...but if she worked I thik I would feel better, but the fact that she doesn't work, doesn't want to go to school, and then goes and plasters all over facebook that she needs money before her husand was even in the ground seems so self-entitled.

Sorry for the rant/thread jack but I just have to ask am I wrong for feeling this way?

 

Amyzen83

No I totally get where your coming from, I know people like that too... I feel bad for them to a point but realize I can't help someone who can't even take baby steps to help themselves.

lovesclimbing

Follow up to the girl asking for tuition to pay for college.  So she posted today saying she's down to $1300!  Which means she only raised $100.  (I mis-spoke on my first post.  She needs $1400, not $1500.)  Below that, she posted, "If you are interested in helping out, text or message me."  Apparently, her new deadline is this weekend.

ETA: Interesting twist.  Turns out, she can't register for next semester until she pays for the one that just ended.  I'm really interested in what she's going to do if she doesn't get the money.  I'm guessing either her parents will step in last minute (I'm guessing they're not, if they haven't already) or she'll go home.

JennyColada

@cowgirl8238, I had a FB friend do something similar. His father passed (my "friend is 28, married with a kid) and he set up a fund to "help him with expenses now that my father has passed". 1. Your dad had insurance (he was a teacher much loved by the community) 2. You're a grown ass man.

While my heart breaks for his family, my wallet does not. It seriously undermines the grief that our community is feeling.

cowgirl8238

Jennycolada said:

@cowgirl8238, I had a FB friend do something similar. His father passed (my "friend is 28, married with a kid) and he set up a fund to "help him with expenses now that my father has passed". 1. Your dad had insurance (he was a teacher much loved by the community) 2. You're a grown ass man. While my heart breaks for his family, my wallet does not. It seriously undermines the grief that our community is feeling.

Thats pretty much exactly how I feel too.

JennyColada

cowgirl8238 said:

Jennycolada said:

@cowgirl8238, I had a FB friend do something similar. His father passed (my "friend is 28, married with a kid) and he set up a fund to "help him with expenses now that my father has passed". 1. Your dad had insurance (he was a teacher much loved by the community) 2. You're a grown ass man.

While my heart breaks for his family, my wallet does not. It seriously undermines the grief that our community is feeling.

Thats pretty much exactly how I feel too.


It breaks my heart that such a wonderful man is survived by such an ugly hearted child.

I would love to donate to a memorial or scholarship fund, but I have no interest in paying the tax on the house that you've inherited (and posting on FB "as I walk through the kitchen and look out into the backyard all I can think is 'this is all mine now'.").

Ugh. It's al though all of his grief ends in dollar signs. There's more to life than that!

photokitty

lovesclimbing said:

Follow up to the girl asking for tuition to pay for college.  So she posted today saying she's down to $1300!  Which means she only raised $100.  (I mis-spoke on my first post.  She needs $1400, not $1500.)  Below that, she posted, "If you are interested in helping out, text or message me."  Apparently, her new deadline is this weekend.

ETA: Interesting twist.  Turns out, she can't register for next semester until she pays for the one that just ended.  I'm really interested in what she's going to do if she doesn't get the money.  I'm guessing either her parents will step in last minute (I'm guessing they're not, if they haven't already) or she'll go home.

I'm guessing she'll use her credit card- assuming it's not maxed out too

JCbride2015

photokitty said:

lovesclimbing said:

Follow up to the girl asking for tuition to pay for college.  So she posted today saying she's down to $1300!  Which means she only raised $100.  (I mis-spoke on my first post.  She needs $1400, not $1500.)  Below that, she posted, "If you are interested in helping out, text or message me."  Apparently, her new deadline is this weekend.

ETA: Interesting twist.  Turns out, she can't register for next semester until she pays for the one that just ended.  I'm really interested in what she's going to do if she doesn't get the money.  I'm guessing either her parents will step in last minute (I'm guessing they're not, if they haven't already) or she'll go home.

I'm guessing she'll use her credit card- assuming it's not maxed out too

I wouldn't actually advocate taking a student loan or CC debt for a non-accredited degree, but can't she get a student loan?  Or maybe those aren't available at a non-accredited school.  This just doesn't make much sense to me.

lovesclimbing

JCBride2014 said:

photokitty said:

lovesclimbing said:

Follow up to the girl asking for tuition to pay for college.  So she posted today saying she's down to $1300!  Which means she only raised $100.  (I mis-spoke on my first post.  She needs $1400, not $1500.)  Below that, she posted, "If you are interested in helping out, text or message me."  Apparently, her new deadline is this weekend.

ETA: Interesting twist.  Turns out, she can't register for next semester until she pays for the one that just ended.  I'm really interested in what she's going to do if she doesn't get the money.  I'm guessing either her parents will step in last minute (I'm guessing they're not, if they haven't already) or she'll go home.

I'm guessing she'll use her credit card- assuming it's not maxed out too

I wouldn't actually advocate taking a student loan or CC debt for a non-accredited degree, but can't she get a student loan?  Or maybe those aren't available at a non-accredited school.  This just doesn't make much sense to me.

@JCBride2014.  No loans are available.  She can't get any federal aid because it's non-accredited.  The only stuff available is a few private scholarships most of which (the ones listed on this school's website) she is not eligible for for various reasons - not a minority, not an international student, etc.

I posted about the whole non-accredited situation and why some people choose to do it on the first page, about half way down.

lovesclimbing

Hey guys.  Sorry to bump this thread, but I thought you might like to know what happened.

Somehow, she got the money or else she managed to negotiate a later payment date because she is still going to school there this semester.  I don't know how that happened, though.  I wish she would have posted something about it.  Seriously, you ask people for money, somehow, you get the money and then you won't even let people know who may have taken the time to think about you, wish you well, pray for you, etc even if they didn't say anything?

Also, I just looked at this girl's Facebook page and she has shared a post from another person asking for money to pay her bill and a gofundme from someone else trying to pay her bill!!  It's an epidemic!!!

The post my friend shared from someone else said blah blah about her situation and then "Pray for a miracle.  To contribute, call xxx and give student ID number xxx."

I'm a Christian, so I am definitely NOT harping on religion, and I fully believe in God's ability to work miracles.  But I also believe that God doesn't just drop money in your lap when you're not being wise about spending.  And going to a college you can't afford just isn't wise in my opinion.

SMH

IMathlete

I had a girl show up in my feed (not a friend, but a friend commented on her post) whose status read (I am paraphrasing): "Just bought my wedding dress! I can't wait for my big day! And I still need $350 for tuition, so please go to my gofundme site if you feel lead to give."

Um...you bought a wedding dress before paying your tuition, and you're begging people for the money??

delujm0

IMathlete said:

I had a girl show up in my feed (not a friend, but a friend commented on her post) whose status read (I am paraphrasing): "Just bought my wedding dress! I can't wait for my big day! And I still need $350 for tuition, so please go to my gofundme site if you feel lead to give."

Um...you bought a wedding dress before paying your tuition, and you're begging people for the money??

Bahahahahahahahaha.  PRIORITIES.

 

That person is an idiot.

Amyzen83

Because the wedding dress is supposed to like be like this totally worthwhile investment right? I mean college is just a back up plan if you can't hack it as a trophy wife! Am I like totes right or what? Priorities ladies!

MrsDeRuyter87

cowgirl8238 said:

I have to chime in as my cousin recently started a gofundme drive last week.  I want to start by saying that I understand losing your husband to a car accident is something I wish on nobody.  But I do feel (as does my FI and others around me) that what she is doing is a little over the top.

My cousin's husband died at the age of 31 in a car accident last Thrusday morning.  He was the bread winner of the family as my cousin does not work.  The reason she doesn't work is beyond me, she is a known self-pitier, she has diabetes and she has RA and she has this and she has that...in other words every week it is something else. 

I get that her life isn't easy because of her limitations but she also turned down a fully paid college tution (from her father) and instead decided to work in a pet store.  Her mother (who divorced the father when she was a teen) fully supports everything she does and often uses her daugther as a crutch in life.  Again, I am not upset with my cousin and I feel bad, but sometimes you just want to smack her and be like, "stop pitying yourself and go do something about it!"

So although I have no doubt that my cousin will be in need of finanical help, I can't help but sie eye the fact that on SATURDAY morning she posted a link to a fund she set up for herself. In the description it states that she wants money to help start a savings account and fnd her animals...

The funeral services were on Monday and Tuesday, and were completed paid for by the late husbands family.  She has also ince increased the goal from the original $10,000 to $25,000.  I am sorry but it just feels to be in such poor taste to put up a fund and solicite money from people who just lost someone in their lives.  Maybe it is just me...but if she worked I thik I would feel better, but the fact that she doesn't work, doesn't want to go to school, and then goes and plasters all over facebook that she needs money before her husand was even in the ground seems so self-entitled.

Sorry for the rant/thread jack but I just have to ask am I wrong for feeling this way?

 

So the husband didn't have a life insurance policy? Was the accident his fault? When my first Fi died in a car accident as a passenger in a car there was a healthy check given to his family as a settlement from the car insurance company of the driver.

lovesclimbing

UPDATE:

So, it's nearing the end of the semester and this girl is posting again. And it's a NEW gofundme. She needs about $3k apparently. She posts almost every day with "check out my site! Any amount is greatly appreciated!"  The past few days have been "First donation! $50 raised so far!" "$75 raised so far!" and then "$150 raised so far!"  Right now, she's at $175.  All posts complete with "God is so good" "God is faithful" "Please share this on your page" and about five exclamation points per sentence.

JCbride2015

lovesclimbing said:

UPDATE:

So, it's nearing the end of the semester and this girl is posting again. And it's a NEW gofundme. She needs about $3k apparently. She posts almost every day with "check out my site! Any amount is greatly appreciated!"  The past few days have been "First donation! $50 raised so far!" "$75 raised so far!" and then "$150 raised so far!"  Right now, she's at $175.  All posts complete with "God is so good" "God is faithful" "Please share this on your page" and about five exclamation points per sentence.

Ugh!  God gave you a working body, sound mind, and the ability to pay your own damn way.

SP29

Oh geeze... this thread makes me want to smack my head against my desk...

I think it's one thing to ask your parents for help (of course they can still say no), but these online funds! 

Yes, school is important, but it was HER CHOICE to go to a non-accredited school. There are also many people who can't go to the school they want, or at all, because they can't afford it. You don't see them begging for money (when they are probably the people who need it most). 

As per the cousin with the private music college fund- it was his CHOICE to go there. I mean, it's great- he is obviously a talented individual- but isn't that part of the journey and the accomplishment? Again, there are probably a lot of people who wish they could go to a private college for music, art, dance, etc... but it's not anyone else's responsibility to make sure they get there. 

Each province in Canada has its own loan service for post-secondary education- which is great. But I still have $22K in student debt+ interest to pay back now. Can I create an online fund? Heck no. 

By all means, I'm a very lucky person with a supportive family. I've never really wanted for anything growing up. But that doesn't mean I constantly asked, "Dad-dy, can you buy me X or pay for X?". When I was doing my undergraduate degree I had an RESP (registered education savings plan) that my parents set up when I was a child, scholarships and... a part time job! The second degree was all covered by my student loan, which I am now paying back, with the full time job I acquired from said degree. 

JennyColada

lovesclimbing said:

UPDATE:

So, it's nearing the end of the semester and this girl is posting again. And it's a NEW gofundme. She needs about $3k apparently. She posts almost every day with "check out my site! Any amount is greatly appreciated!"  The past few days have been "First donation! $50 raised so far!" "$75 raised so far!" and then "$150 raised so far!"  Right now, she's at $175.  All posts complete with "God is so good" "God is faithful" "Please share this on your page" and about five exclamation points per sentence.

I think I'm more frustrated that these things actually earn these people money. It almost makes me jealous. Damn pride and responsibility getting in the way of my panhandling.

larrygaga

I wanted to come in here and brag that I never saw anything like this on my facebook earlier, but then it happened.

One of my college classmate's grandpa died, and I'm sorry for her loss but she has no money to make the 6 hour drive to her hometown. She set up a go fund me directly after posting about how she has a full tank of gas and an oil change. My sister lives in the town she's trying to get to, and so I make that drive all the time. It's about 100 bucks in my car round trip if I have an empty tank. With a full tank of gas (she told everyone on facebook about) she put on gofundme she needs 300 bucks. 

???

She's one of those people that works constantly at two jobs and blows it all on alcohol and outfits to party in. The kind of person that would have emergency money if she wore an outfit twice or maybe just stayed home a few nights a month. I don't really feel bad that she doesn't have money to get home. This girl has ditched me on a lot of group projects for me to do all the work myself, while she got to sleep off her hangovers. I don't like judging how other people spend money, but seriously just don't party a few nights a month and look at how much emergency money you suddenly have. 

Oh my god, i'm a mean person. 

larrygaga

http://www.ijreview.com/2013/09/77649-12-absurd-ridiculous-crowdfunding-projects-dont-want-contribute/

Rosebubbly

This whole thread has been highly entertaining, but it is so true! One of the original intents of gofund me was for entrepeneurs and devastating events. It is really sad that it its impact won't be there in the future thanks to internet panhandlers like a couple I have seen mentioned on here.

vanityink

I've pretty much only been a lurker lately, but I had to chime in with an email I got this morning. I work as an editor, and since I'm involved with a lot of online writing communities I sometimes offer to help newbie writers here and there (editing a little bit for free/giving comments/basically just offering advice). I recently did so for a new writer who was asking for comments on a message board--telling them to send me a few pages and I would edit them (for free) to give her an idea of where she stood. After sending them back, I didn't get so much as a thank you, but I let it go. 

THIS MORNING, I wake up to an email from this person (someone I literally have only ever contacted professionally/have already offered services for free as a favor) for a GoFundMe account, asking me to donate to her "spiritual trip to India" (!!!) I barely refrained from going off entirely...so I'm venting here instead.

delujm0

vanityink said:

I've pretty much only been a lurker lately, but I had to chime in with an email I got this morning. I work as an editor, and since I'm involved with a lot of online writing communities I sometimes offer to help newbie writers here and there (editing a little bit for free/giving comments/basically just offering advice). I recently did so for a new writer who was asking for comments on a message board--telling them to send me a few pages and I would edit them (for free) to give her an idea of where she stood. After sending them back, I didn't get so much as a thank you, but I let it go. 

THIS MORNING, I wake up to an email from this person (someone I literally have only ever contacted professionally/have already offered services for free as a favor) for a GoFundMe account, asking me to donate to her "spiritual trip to India" (!!!) I barely refrained from going off entirely...so I'm venting here instead.

That.  Is.  Enraging.

 

Vacations are a luxury item.  You only get to take them if you can afford to do to.  You don't get to decide to take a vacation and then ask other people to pay for it.  Which is why Honeyfunds are so insane.  WTF is wrong with people?  I have traveled all over the world, and believe me, I have given up all sorts of fun purchases in order to save up to take those trips.  It's caled "priorities."  Everyone needs to set them and act accordingly.

lovesclimbing

@vanityink.  That is so insane.  So beyond the realm of anything that is proper.

vanityink

I know. I had to post here to stop myself from shooting back something nasty. Especially since DH and I have just booked tickets for our "belated honeymoon"/1st anniversary trip since we've been saving up. SO wanted to post "sure, I'll donate right after you give me money for my trip to Italy."