Sister In Law

JSTexas22

I am avoiding choosing my bridesmaids because I don't know if I should include my future SIL. 

My fiancé and I have been together for 3.5 years and she has made no effort to get to know me. I've tried reaching out, and she just looks at me like i'm stupid. I've given her christmas presents and have gotten nothing in return (not that I want anything, but it's the thought..) She is 7 years older, so I just figured she didn't care about her little brother's girlfriend. But now that we are engaged, nothing has changed. 

My fiancé wants me to include her in my bridal party. I am a firm believer that your bridal party is people that care about you and support you, but he really wants me to ask her (even though he admits she has made no effort and completely ignores my existence). It would be SO awkward and she'll probably say yes but still look at me like i'm stupid and stay quiet the whole entire time. 

advice??

AddieCake

jordanshea22 said:

I am avoiding choosing my bridesmaids because I don't know if I should include my future SIL. 

My fiancé and I have been together for 3.5 years and she has made no effort to get to know me. I've tried reaching out, and she just looks at me like i'm stupid. I've given her christmas presents and have gotten nothing in return (not that I want anything, but it's the thought..) She is 7 years older, so I just figured she didn't care about her little brother's girlfriend. But now that we are engaged, nothing has changed. 

My fiancé wants me to include her in my bridal party. I am a firm believer that your bridal party is people that care about you and support you, but he really wants me to ask her (even though he admits she has made no effort and completely ignores my existence). It would be SO awkward and she'll probably say yes but still look at me like i'm stupid and stay quiet the whole entire time. 

advice??

I'm of the mindset that if you don't know if you should choose someone, you shouldn't. Choosing our WP was the easiest thing in the world for us, a complete no-brainer. If your fiance wants his sister in the WP, then he can ask her to stand on his side. 

JaxInBlue

Agree with Addie.  If her brother wants her in the wedding party, she can be a groomswoman.  Ask the people you are closest to.  I think trying to force it has the potential to end badly for everyone.

HisGirlFriday13

Agree that your FI can ask her to stand on his side if he wants her up there. Your BMs should be the people closest to you, not the people other people want you to ask.

MyNameIsNot

Your side of the WP should be your closest people.  If your FI feels close to her, he can ask her to stand on his side.  He's out of line to push you to include her if you don't feel close to her.  

Jen4948

I agree with PPs.  If he is close to his sister but you are not, he can ask her to be a groomsmaid.  He should not be pressuring you to include anyone on your side any more than you should pressure him to include anyone on his (which you're not doing).

NYCMercedes

Another option: you can both ask her to be a reader. That way she is included but not on a particular side.