General etiquette

ASJLove

Hi all, is there any general wedding planning etiquette sites or books you've found helpful when planning? Thanks!

BlueBirdMB

These boards and Miss Manners Guide To A Surprisingly Dignified Wedding were my most helpful resources. 

AddieCake

A former Knottie also always use to say to avoid anything by Sharon Naylor who is a romance novelist turned etiquette "expert." 

crunchymamaof2

Honestly I'd just stick around here. These women are a wealth of info and are way better than any book. If you offer @AddieL73 some cake I bet she'll even write you a mini-book ;-)

 

Miss Manners is pretty good, and Emily Post is good if you read what she herself wrote (before 1960 I believe); at least that's what I've read on here a few times. I read one of her older etiquette books and it was pretty spot on.

AddieCake

Hell yes, I would!

JCbride2015

Second PP's suggestions to stick around these boards.  I would caution against a lot of the newer, wedding style and planning books.  For instance, I love A Practical Wedding by Meg Keene as a source of style ideas, reality check against the princess wedding, etc.  But she also advocates putting yourself totally first, and gives the OK to things like really long gaps between ceremony and reception if that's what you want.  No... it might be what the bride wants, but still not appropriate hosting for your guests.  So watch out for that kind of stuff.

phira

I think it's important to keep in mind that you're likely to hear conflicting etiquette "rules," especially from wedding etiquette books, etc. I try to look at each situation by asking, "How would I feel as a guest if this is something that happened at a wedding I were attending?"

A lot of the time, people use that as an excuse for poor etiquette, e.g. "I wouldn't mind a cash bar! Better than a dry wedding, amirite?" So I try to ask myself why a guest might be irritated, uncomfortable, or offended. Focusing on being a gracious host of your party is a helpful tactic when it comes to etiquette.

I LOVE APW, but yeah, I think that long gaps are not a sign of good hosting. I can't imagine that most people are REALLY unable to get married without a three hour gap.

ASJLove

Thanks all!

Amyzen83

I have to say, I've been here almost a year and at first, I thought I knew basic etiquette from my friends and articles but still there were things that left a bad taste in my mouth AKA: B-listing, determining the length of time constitutes a "serious" enough relationship to invite the SO, the biggest one, a bridesmaid's "expectations", too bad I wasn't a member here first, could have saved me about $1000 + I spent being in a friend's wedding, oh well she's been a kick ass bridesmaid for me, and she's been the one to offer to help me with everything, not the other way around, so I'm thankful for her friendship and if I had to spend that much money on anyone I'm glad it was her, because she's awesome.

Anyway, sorry to hijack the thread, I just wanted to thank you ladies, especially the regular long time knotties who seem to have a good perspective of things! I feel like my wedding will be even more awesome since I've learned how I can better treat everyone involved in my wedding, guests, bridal party etc. I've managed to avoid some serious faux pas and I've even been complimented on my etiquette after sending thank you notes to people who have already gotten me things off my registry!