His First, My Second.
Is it odd to battle feeling like I’m cheapening the
experience because of that fact? I was 21 when I was married
the first time, I will be 32 when DF and I marry. Truth be told, with that 11
year gap I’m surprised I feel the way I do.
Both of our families are completely supportive, elated,
even, because we have found each other. In fact, my ex-husband and ex-in laws
are even supportive (our divorce, nearly 6 years ago, was amicable and as we
share a child together, we have always kept relations pleasant and respectful
for our son’s sake). But even with this great scenario, I find myself thinking,
“DF has waited 37 years to find “the one” and he chose me.
And I already “used” the first wedding experience (think: registering, showers,
etc) up on someone I should have never married.”
Please understand, it really isn’t about the things/traditions
– it’s really more about the fact that I purposely have to avoid the “normal”
wedding traditions because this is my second wedding. I think I feel like I’m taking away from DF,
in a sense?
On reading this post I feel it’s almost pathetic – I am a
grown woman and reasonably, I know none of this matters in the end. But still,
I would love to hear from ladies in similar scenarios and how you kept
perspective during this time.
On a side note, this man is literally the man I prayed for.
We were made for each other and…it’s just easy, beautiful, and peaceful. After
2.5 years, I could not be more excited – I think I just need permission to be
excited even though I’m a second time bride.