Ughh. Why??

climbingsingle

Someone just posted this on my FB page. 

Miss R-was thinking about you...when is the wedding? One would hope she would get an inviteXO

I've posting nothing wedding related on my Facebook page - just that I got engaged back in September. I barely speak to this girl anymore. We were good friends about 10 years ago. We had a falling out. We made up, but honestly our friendship was never the same. I can't even remember the last time we actually hung out. It had to be almost 2 years ago. 

I know how to respond - "We're trying to keep the wedding really small. Unfortunately we won't be able to invite everyone we want." But I'm just so pissed she's making me say this to her. Ugh. 

KytchynWitche

Yuck.

I would also add "We've decided not to post wedding information on Facebook, so please don't mention it again." but I am pretty snarky like that.

ShallowSeas

I've had the same thing happen to me several times. One was in person which made it really awkward. I had been best friends with this girl since I was 14 but after graduation we just no longer kept in touch, other than being 'friends' on FB. I ran into her at the mall a couple weeks ago and she was asking about the wedding and how she wanted to come. I told her that we were keeping it very small and had a certain amount of people coming who were family, family friends, and very close friends. Several of my co-workers have also tried to invite themselves to my wedding.  Awkward. I don't understand why people feel its okay to invite themselves to a wedding. I would never even think of inviting myself to someone's wedding or hinting around that I want an invite. Rude.

PolarBearFitz

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Someone just posted this on my FB page. 

Miss R-was thinking about you...when is the wedding? One would hope she would get an inviteXO

I've posting nothing wedding related on my Facebook page - just that I got engaged back in September. I barely speak to this girl anymore. We were good friends about 10 years ago. We had a falling out. We made up, but honestly our friendship was never the same. I can't even remember the last time we actually hung out. It had to be almost 2 years ago. 

I know how to respond - "We're trying to keep the wedding really small. Unfortunately we won't be able to invite everyone we want." But I'm just so pissed she's making me say this to her. Ugh. 

Not that it matters because either way this is hilariously rude but was this a private message or did she post this straight to your timeline?

She sounds so classy

My response would have been: 'One would hope one wouldn't invite themselves via the book of faces to a private event.'

tmclawchick

GROSS.

climbingsingle

aefitz29 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Someone just posted this on my FB page. 

Miss R-was thinking about you...when is the wedding? One would hope she would get an inviteXO

I've posting nothing wedding related on my Facebook page - just that I got engaged back in September. I barely speak to this girl anymore. We were good friends about 10 years ago. We had a falling out. We made up, but honestly our friendship was never the same. I can't even remember the last time we actually hung out. It had to be almost 2 years ago. 

I know how to respond - "We're trying to keep the wedding really small. Unfortunately we won't be able to invite everyone we want." But I'm just so pissed she's making me say this to her. Ugh. 

Not that it matters because either way this is hilariously rude but was this a private message or did she post this straight to your timeline?

She sounds so classy

My response would have been: 'One would hope one wouldn't invite themselves via the book of faces to a private event.'

She posted this right on my Timeline! It wasn't a private message. 

One of the reasons that I stopped hanging out with her was that she was such a taker. "Can I borrow your car? Can you I borrow your laptop? Can you give me a ride?" It was all about what I could do for her. She was shitty friend that rarely returned the favor. 

And here's the kicker - what started the whole fight years ago - she sent an email TO ME that was bitching about me. She meant to send it to another friend. 

ShesSoCold

We arrived at a party a few weeks ago to have an old friend come right up to us and demand an invitation. He goes, "WHEN IS YOUR WEDDING AND I BETTER BE FUCKING INVITED AND I'M GOING TO BE THERE!". I don't even have this guy's phone number in my cell phone but we've been in the same group of friends for like 10 years, off and on. No, guy. You're not "fucking invited". 

melbelleup

I love when people try to invite themselves... We're having a 272 guest list, 23k wedding.... Yesterday, my "boss" 's girlfriend mentioned to him my wedding date over the phone. I think they were maybe talking gifts or something, but my boss was basically like well we're not even invited. I was like, well if you want to be, you can be, but it's in Pennsylvania, which would be a 16 hour round trip, so if you really want to, you can. He's like are you going to pay for a car for us and gas? Uh no. Needless to say, they won't be attending and I might hand them an invite just cause... we'll see if I have extras. I like his girlfriend, can't really stand him.

FI and I had a huge talk though about whether we should invite co-workers or not and came down to not even though we work for the same school district. I don't hang out with anyone outside of work, so pass. And the people we would of from FI's school are all leaving the school this year, so once again, pass.

PolarBearFitz

@climbingbrideNY - Wow. I love girls that are so into themselves that they cannot even tell when they are 'takers.' I would de-friend her pronto. No one needs that kind of negativity and life suck.

Life lessons from Robin Hood: Men in Tights: 'Good riddance to bad rubbish' I say.

MyNameIsNot

I would probably delete the comment and ignore it.  I would love to delete it and then send her a PM asking her not to put wedding things on FB due to not inviting most FB friends, but I probably wouldn't have the balls.

abbyj700

Delete the post off of your timeline and send her a private message. Holy classless. I've only had one person assume so far that they were invited and said so in person who wasn't...and I gave her the "we're still deciding guest list but things will be kept small, mostly family" - I wish I would have been a little more direct as I assume she might still think she's invited. So don't be rude but don't be like me and set yourself for a future of more inappropriate questions from the same person!

jenna8984

ShesSoCold said:

We arrived at a party a few weeks ago to have an old friend come right up to us and demand an invitation. He goes, "WHEN IS YOUR WEDDING AND I BETTER BE FUCKING INVITED AND I'M GOING TO BE THERE!". I don't even have this guy's phone number in my cell phone but we've been in the same group of friends for like 10 years, off and on. No, guy. You're not "fucking invited". 

Seriously. I don't have any communication with my aunts or uncles aside from a forced Labor Day reunion that my parents make me sit through each year. I have no problem cutting these people out of everything since they essentially mean nothing to me. My brother, on the other hand, doesn't like them but feels the need to invite them to everything becasue they are family and just because he wants more gifts. So....at my SIL's (brother's wife) baby shower this past weekend I was cornered by 2 aunts who kept saying "Can't wait to see your dress! It's going to be so beautiful, where and when is it again?" How am I supposed to tell them to their face they aren't invited??! I just changed the subject as fast as possible and they didn't get the hint and kept bringing it up. gaaaah!

ShesSoCold

jenna8984 said:

ShesSoCold said:

We arrived at a party a few weeks ago to have an old friend come right up to us and demand an invitation. He goes, "WHEN IS YOUR WEDDING AND I BETTER BE FUCKING INVITED AND I'M GOING TO BE THERE!". I don't even have this guy's phone number in my cell phone but we've been in the same group of friends for like 10 years, off and on. No, guy. You're not "fucking invited". 

Seriously. I don't have any communication with my aunts or uncles aside from a forced Labor Day reunion that my parents make me sit through each year. I have no problem cutting these people out of everything since they essentially mean nothing to me. My brother, on the other hand, doesn't like them but feels the need to invite them to everything becasue they are family and just because he wants more gifts. So....at my SIL's (brother's wife) baby shower this past weekend I was cornered by 2 aunts who kept saying "Can't wait to see your dress! It's going to be so beautiful, where and when is it again?" How am I supposed to tell them to their face they aren't invited??! I just changed the subject as fast as possible and they didn't get the hint and kept bringing it up. gaaaah!

STUCK IN THE BOX.

Yeah I'm pretty good at shooting people down because we're having a DW in Montana - not exactly easy or cheap to get to. So I can usually turn it back around on them - "do you really want to pay $800 for a flight or drive for 26 hours?" and no one cares anymore LOL.

But I don't know what I'd say if it were a local thing and they just weren't invited. Awkward!

PolarBearFitz

MyNameIsNot said:

I would probably delete the comment and ignore it.  I would love to delete it and then send her a PM asking her not to put wedding things on FB due to not inviting most FB friends, but I probably wouldn't have the balls.

I'm sure I have extra balls somewhere that I could bestow upon you if ever needed...

vt&dt

WOW.

I can't believe people have the nerve to try and invite themselves to a wedding.  

I teach dance, and when the news spread around the studio that I was engaged, my students all said that they should be invited to the wedding because obviously they are so important to me.  Haha.  They're just middle/high school kids so I wasn't too surprised - I told them we're keeping it to just family and really close friends... then they offered to sit on the floor and bring Lunchables so we wouldn't have to pay for anything for them to be able to come.  Haha!!!

climbingsingle

TwoDimes said:

OP, I had a "taker" friend for a long time too. The kind who would always ask me drive us everywhere because gas was "too expensive" for her to drive herself, but the ONE time she drove us somewhere (and it was like 2 miles roundtrip) she asked me to chip in for gas money. I'm pretty sure I said, "Are you f*ing serious?!" 

That type of person is exactly the type of personality I would expect to invite themselves to a wedding. The kind that can't possibly comprehend why someone wouldn't want to invite them.

I don't blame you for not being close friends anymore. I cut my "taker" friend out of my life several years ago and haven't looked back!

Good for you!! I pretty much did the same with this girl. I, however, never deleted her from Facebook. Whoops! 

I haven't deleted the comment yet. That's my next stop. But my mom saw it. And now my mom is blowing up my phone. My mom said, "She just wants to show off her body! She's not your friend. You better tell her she's not invited or she will show up the day of! I wouldn't put it past her!" LOL. My mom is going to stroke out over this. 

PolarBearFitz

@climbingbrideny - Your Mom sounds awesome to look out for you like that. What a sweetheart!

Cut out my 'taker' friend who was a toxic life suck. The day that happened was the day I started being so much happier. She demanded I schedule a day or more every week to spend with her because I was spending too much time with my FI. I had just started dating him at the time...and she was ridiculously jealous and possessive of me.

Cookie Pusher

I agree with PPs - delete the post and ignore her. You can message her if you want, but this girl doesn't sound like someone who would get it even if you explained it to her. (Tupperware girl from the other thread did something like that to me this year the day of an annual party I throw - postinging that she was disappointed I wasn't having my party. Umm... I had it, just didn't invite you, duh!)

climbingsingle

Is it bad that I sort of want to leave her comment up there a little longer so that others can see what a jerk she is?

Rebl90

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Is it bad that I sort of want to leave her comment up there a little longer so that others can see what a jerk she is?

*STUCK*

I say leave it and don't respond, it's not worth your time

PolarBearFitz

Jennja22 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Is it bad that I sort of want to leave her comment up there a little longer so that others can see what a jerk she is?

It isn't bad, but that may bring more unwelcome self-invites!  But, you should reply to her comment with your ballsy "You're a soul sucking friend and no way are you invited to my wedding" or something similar and then leave THAT for your friends to see.  

If you leave it up do not reply. That will make you look like a facebook drama sharing crazypants.

KatWAG

I would delete it and if she posts again I would send her a private message explaining that you are keeping your guest list small.

Emmy1493

I know the feels. My best friend/MOH had a college class with another girl that we sort of but were not really friends with. This chick had dated a friend of both of ours in the past for awhile. But when we all went to his house, all the couple did was lock everyone out of the room and have sex. It was quite..no, VERY rude and awkward. So in general, we were never close.

So then she is talking with BF in class and was like, "I wanna go to the wedding? Etc etc." I don't even think my friend brought up the wedding. I have her on FB, but don't even really post wedding stuff for that very reason. It just irks me.

NavyBlue143

People are unbelievable. I had a sorority sister who teaches in Korea demand that we have our wedding in July so she would be home and could attend. She posted this on fb when we announced our engagement. I hadn't seen or spoken to her in almost 2 years. I responded that we would plan our wedding for when it best suited us and our guests.

climbingsingle

NavyBlue143 said:

People are unbelievable. I had a sorority sister who teaches in Korea demand that we have our wedding in July so she would be home and could attend. She posted this on fb when we announced our engagement. I hadn't seen or spoken to her in almost 2 years. I responded that we would plan our wedding for when it best suited us and our guests.

Wow! That is unreal!