RSVP no responses

txcrystal80

We sent out save the dates via facebook (small wedding of just family and close friends). Guests were given dates, city location (we are having the wedding locally), and the time.  95% of guests RSVPed yes on facebook.  The formal invitation has gone out and no one has RSVPed.  One of my bridesmaid said she didn't even see the RSVP info (it was to RSVP to a specific email address).  I thought perhaps no one paid attention to it but it was too obscure on the invite, but MIL says it's clear.  How do I remind everyone without being pushy?

Maggie0829

txcrystal80 said:

We sent out save the dates via facebook (small wedding of just family and close friends). Guests were given dates, city location (we are having the wedding locally), and the time.  95% of guests RSVPed yes on facebook.  The formal invitation has gone out and no one has RSVPed.  One of my bridesmaid said she didn't even see the RSVP info (it was to RSVP to a specific email address).  I thought perhaps no one paid attention to it but it was too obscure on the invite, but MIL says it's clear.  How do I remind everyone without being pushy?

This is why I vote against email and online invites and such.  Honestly, most people probably thought that the STD was the invite and then figured that since they already RSVPd to the STD that they don't need to RSVP again.

How you proceed is once the RSVP date as passed start contacting those individuals who have not RSVPd to see whether or not they are coming.  To remind people prior to the RSVPd can seem a bit over anxious and pushy.

Jen4948

Contact everyone who has not RSVPd as of the RSVP deadline to the invitation, as opposed to the STD or on Facebook, and let them know that you need to know now whether they are coming. 

A lot of people won't do it until very close to the deadline, because they just aren't sure until the last minute that they can make it due to work or other reasons.  And, yes, some people are clods who don't understand the necessity for RSVPing or think that those Facebook RSVPs count.

txcrystal80

sigh...lesson learned...

Jen4948

Schatzi13 said:

I'm confused. Why did they RSVP to the STDs? Did you ask them to, or did they do it voluntarily? Do they think they've already RSVPed, and that's why they aren't RSVPing now? Or were those more excited messages, like "Looking forward to February! See you then"?

Whatever the case, follow what PPs said about waiting until the deadline passed, and then follow up with nonresponders individually.

From what the OP says, I have the feeling the bolded is probably the answer.  Sadly, it means that the OP now has to contact them to follow up if they don't respond to the real invitation by the deadline.

Maggie0829

Schatzi13 said:

I'm confused. Why did they RSVP to the STDs? Did you ask them to, or did they do it voluntarily? Do they think they've already RSVPed, and that's why they aren't RSVPing now? Or were those more excited messages, like "Looking forward to February! See you then"?

Whatever the case, follow what PPs said about waiting until the deadline passed, and then follow up with nonresponders individually.

I think this is the issue.  Her STD sent via facebook included date, location and time.  Typically STDs only have the date and maybe a location but typically just the date.  I can honestly see how people may have thought that it was the actual invitation.

vt&dt

OP, I think you need to contact all of your invited guests to find out who is coming.  I think they likely were confused when they had 'RSVP'd' to the wedding via Facebook.  But since STDs are usually sent out 6 months before the event, and invites 6-8 weeks, you can't know if someone's ability to come or plans have changed.

Any lurkers or newbies reading this thread - this is why mailed RSVPs (and no Facebook events/invites or e-vites) are always recommended.

wabanzi

vt&dt said:

OP, I think you need to contact all of your invited guests to find out who is coming.  I think they likely were confused when they had 'RSVP'd' to the wedding via Facebook.  But since STDs are usually sent out 6 months before the event, and invites 6-8 weeks, you can't know if someone's ability to come or plans have changed.

Any lurkers or newbies reading this thread - this is why mailed RSVPs (and no Facebook events/invites or e-vites) are always recommended.

Well, maybe.  It really is an issue with people thinking they rsvp'ed with the save the dates.  This also happened to both of my nieces.  People text/sent messages/called, etc., after they received the save the date and didn't bother with the mailed rsvp card with the actual invitation several months later.  When contacted, most claimed they had already stated they were coming "months ago."