Wearing White

Amyzen83

bubblegum1309 said:

NavyBlue143 said:

I'm curious; fellow brides who didn't wear white, do you care if someone wears the same color as your dress? I honestly don't understand the hangup. If someone wears a white prom or wedding dress to your wedding, yeah that's kind of messed up, but the color itself means nothing. If wearing a certain color steals attention from a bride, then that rule should apply regardless of the color the bride wears, IMO. I don't think it matters, it's just clothes. And the white thing is fairly new anyway, I imagine before white was the color for weddings, there was a lot of bride/ guest color overlap.

I wore red, and a guest wore a red dress. I only noticed this because the dress was skin tight and strapless, and she wore a bra with straps, and not a pretty or well fitting bra either. Boobage everywhere. I'm fairly certain other guests wore my color, but I didn't notice because nobody else had their tits hanging out. In fact, the only other guest whose attire I noticed was this girl's friend who was wearing a white shirt without a bra underneath, and you could see her nipples. She was also wearing an underbust corset, so I imagine the nipplage thing was intended. Which is funny to me. They both knew our entire families would be there, so of course it was an appropriate occasion for nipples!

biggest pet peeve ever!

Also, I have heard (don't really remember where) that you are also not supposed to wear red to a wedding because its a "sexy color" and can upstage the bride. Not as common as the white rule... but I also no longer wear red to weddings. I know its not a big deal, but the last thing I would want to do is upset a bride on her wedding day. There's still plenty of colors left over even when you take out the options of red and white!

Well if you wear the two colors together and add blue then you look patriotic at the wedding

HisGirlFriday13

Red is (allegedly) a 'racy' colour, but even Miss Manners says red at weddings is OK.

I wore red to a good friends wedding, for which I was DOC, and no one said anything other than it looked good on me. DH still has a photo of that wedding as the background on his phone.

happymellow

I was taught no white, no red and no black.  That being said, no one really follows the red/black rule anymore, but I still try to avoid all three colors--just what I was taught growing up.  I also went to a wedding where the sister-in-law wore white...with a hat and veil.  Everyone was laughing.  Did she want people to think she was marrying her brother?

MollyandD

I was always taught that it is rude to wear white to another woman's wedding. Even though I know no one else can "upstage" the bride, it still seems inconsiderate. That said, I wouldn't say anything to anyone else if another girl were wearing white to someone else's wedding. I would think it was a little thoughtless, but I would think also that it's not my place to say anything.

Amyzen83

happymellow said:

I was taught no white, no red and no black.  That being said, no one really follows the red/black rule anymore, but I still try to avoid all three colors--just what I was taught growing up.  I also went to a wedding where the sister-in-law wore white...with a hat and veil.  Everyone was laughing.  Did she want people to think she was marrying her brother?

LOL! OMG, I would soooo be tempted to ask her if she was planning on doing that! That's just the snarky side coming out though. *evil grin*

LondonLisa

Yeah, I agree- just stay out of it. Getting involved has no good outcome for you! No one is going to mistake a white cocktail dress for a wedding gown. 

That being said, I definitely judge people who wear white to weddings. I was at a wedding where a friend's new GF wore a cream maxi dress. It was very inappropriate and I felt for the poor girl, as she had no clue! Not one person mistook her for the bride. 

 

Maggie0829

For brides that choose to wear a color rather then white then they need to realize that they have a greater chance of one or more of their guests wearing the same color as them.  That is just something that needs to be accepted.  But again, as the bride, no matter what color you are wearing or if your guests are wearing the same color, nothing will upstage you because you are the one getting married that day, no one else.

happymellow

@Amyzen83, I wanted to, but I was younger then and more timid. 

Fran1985

So I totally agree that no one can upstage the bride even if they are wearing an all white dress. But the reason I would have a problem with it (as a guest) is that everyone knows the don't wear white rule. So if you show up wearing white, it can be seen as a big dig.

FiancB

I think I'd stay out of it. If girl A (forgot names) is that worried, she can tell girl B to please not do that. I wouldn't bother saying it to someone AT a wedding, because at that point it's too late. 

I agree it's rude but at the same time if someone's really worried about being upstaged on their wedding day they may be a tad insecure. I think that's the same kind of thing where brides make their brideslaves wear really hideous dresses so they look better by comparison. 

rajahmd

Maggie0829 said:

For brides that choose to wear a color rather then white then they need to realize that they have a greater chance of one or more of their guests wearing the same color as them.  That is just something that needs to be accepted.  But again, as the bride, no matter what color you are wearing or if your guests are wearing the same color, nothing will upstage you because you are the one getting married that day, no one else.

Exactly. I have no idea if anyone else wore pink on my wedding day. And I don't care at all. Either way, my dress was awesome and that's all the matters.

Oddly enough, what I do remember about clothing is what my mom and grandmother managed to do on accident. My dress was pink (see sig pic), my mom wore a royal blue dress, and my grandmother wore a purple dress.  When the photographer got a picture of all 3 of us together, it looked awesome. That's one of my favorite pictures from my wedding day.

PrettyGirlLost

Amyzen83 said:

It's all about the assless chaps ladies!

This is redundant, lol.

Fran1985

PlatformSupervisor14 said:

Fran1985 said:

So I totally agree that no one can upstage the bride even if they are wearing an all white dress. But the reason I would have a problem with it (as a guest) is that everyone knows the don't wear white rule. So if you show up wearing white, it can be seen as a big dig.

You do realize that it's a completely sexist, one-sided rule, right?  I mean, how many guys get lambasted for wearing the same color as the groom?  None.

But as for the OP, I am going to go against the grain and say that I would pull her aside at some point (NOT a wedding) and mention it to her.

"Friend, I've noticed that you tend to wear white to all of our friends' weddings lately.  Now, I personally did not care who wore what when I was getting married, but I did want to make sure that you realize that many women (for whatever reason) see that as an insult.  

If she's shocked this is still a thing and really was clueless, you've saved her some embarrassment in the future.  If she realizes it but doesn't care, then oh well.  You've done all you can do.

I never said it wasn't sexist. I'm just not going to use my friend's weddings to make that statement because most people would take it as a dig at the bride.

Mandafly84

PlatformSupervisor14 said:

Fran1985 said:

So I totally agree that no one can upstage the bride even if they are wearing an all white dress. But the reason I would have a problem with it (as a guest) is that everyone knows the don't wear white rule. So if you show up wearing white, it can be seen as a big dig.

You do realize that it's a completely sexist, one-sided rule, right?  I mean, how many guys get lambasted for wearing the same color as the groom?  None.

But as for the OP, I am going to go against the grain and say that I would pull her aside at some point (NOT a wedding) and mention it to her.

"Friend, I've noticed that you tend to wear white to all of our friends' weddings lately.  Now, I personally did not care who wore what when I was getting married, but I did want to make sure that you realize that many women (for whatever reason) see that as an insult.  

If she's shocked this is still a thing and really was clueless, you've saved her some embarrassment in the future.  If she realizes it but doesn't care, then oh well.  You've done all you can do.

I would do this.

I don't feel strongly about other girls who wear white to weddings, but I would never do it.  Why is it necessary?  Out of every other color of the rainbow, you gotta wear white?  Come on.

Amyzen83

Frankly everyone's going to know I'm the bride but I agree out of all the colors white? Red or black whatever! What if the nicest thing the girl has in her closet is her little black dress or a very striking red dress? I'd much rather see that at my wedding than jeans and a t shirt

mrs4everhart

I'd stay out of it, personally. Your one friend's opinion of what anyone wears isn't your issue and your other friend wearing something someone may deem offensive isn't either.

edandy

NavyBlue143 said:

I'm curious; fellow brides who didn't wear white, do you care if someone wears the same color as your dress? I honestly don't understand the hangup. If someone wears a white prom or wedding dress to your wedding, yeah that's kind of messed up, but the color itself means nothing. If wearing a certain color steals attention from a bride, then that rule should apply regardless of the color the bride wears, IMO. I don't think it matters, it's just clothes. And the white thing is fairly new anyway, I imagine before white was the color for weddings, there was a lot of bride/ guest color overlap. I wore red, and a guest wore a red dress. I only noticed this because the dress was skin tight and strapless, and she wore a bra with straps, and not a pretty or well fitting bra either. Boobage everywhere. I'm fairly certain other guests wore my color, but I didn't notice because nobody else had their tits hanging out. In fact, the only other guest whose attire I noticed was this girl's friend who was wearing a white shirt without a bra underneath, and you could see her nipples. She was also wearing an underbust corset, so I imagine the nipplage thing was intended. Which is funny to me. They both knew our entire families would be there, so of course it was an appropriate occasion for nipples!

Ew! My FI has a few cousins who wear serious clubbing outfits to family events. I'm talking boobs hanging out, 5 inches sparkly heels and a skintight dress that comes right below their ass. They literally cannot bend even slightly over without flashing everyone. I'm always like, who exactly are you trying to attract this is grandma's birthday! 

afaber24

Maybe it was an emergency that she wear white: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9F7v2KC1tT0

yogablossom

@edandy - I just seriously laughed out loud at your "who you trying to attract, this is grandma's birthday!" bahaha! Love it!

MandyMost

edandy said:

NavyBlue143 said:

I'm curious; fellow brides who didn't wear white, do you care if someone wears the same color as your dress? I honestly don't understand the hangup. If someone wears a white prom or wedding dress to your wedding, yeah that's kind of messed up, but the color itself means nothing. If wearing a certain color steals attention from a bride, then that rule should apply regardless of the color the bride wears, IMO. I don't think it matters, it's just clothes. And the white thing is fairly new anyway, I imagine before white was the color for weddings, there was a lot of bride/ guest color overlap. I wore red, and a guest wore a red dress. I only noticed this because the dress was skin tight and strapless, and she wore a bra with straps, and not a pretty or well fitting bra either. Boobage everywhere. I'm fairly certain other guests wore my color, but I didn't notice because nobody else had their tits hanging out. In fact, the only other guest whose attire I noticed was this girl's friend who was wearing a white shirt without a bra underneath, and you could see her nipples. She was also wearing an underbust corset, so I imagine the nipplage thing was intended. Which is funny to me. They both knew our entire families would be there, so of course it was an appropriate occasion for nipples!

Ew! My FI has a few cousins who wear serious clubbing outfits to family events. I'm talking boobs hanging out, 5 inches sparkly heels and a skintight dress that comes right below their ass. They literally cannot bend even slightly over without flashing everyone. I'm always like, who exactly are you trying to attract this is grandma's birthday! 

I know people who don't seem to realize that there aren't only 2 types of clothing--casual and dressy. They think "Well, I dress up when I'm going clubbing, so that's dressy clothes, so I can wear it to any occasion". Or people who will wear a casual, daytime sundress to a fancy evening affair because "it's a dress, and dresses are all dressy". And really, the same type of thing goes for men--even if you own one suit, there's a way to wear it for a business meeting and a way to wear it for an evening event. You don't want to show up to the party looking like you just stepped out of a business meeting.

Starlet514

I attended a wedding and one of the best friends of the bride wore white... long story short everyone was talking about it! Turns out the best friend was in one of those "all my friends are married but me" jealous rages and was being outrageously passive-aggressive! The bride and friend have since talked it all out... but it was kinda a scandal. So perhaps said white-dress-wearing-guest is having one of those moments???? I would stay out of it - let the bride-to-be talk to her if she really cares, it's not your wedding. Best to not get into the middle!!! 

tesgirl123

Are you Im the bridal party? If not, is your dress set for the wedding? Maybe you could ask her Togo shopping with you and bring it up then.

I had a friend wear white to a friend's wedding after college. She looked absurd and everyone knew it. But that wedding was a shit show where everyone was drunk including the bride. Hardly anyone remembers the second girl in white because the bride was a hot mess.