Getting married on your birthday

mrsbanany

So I posted a while ago about how I was stressed out about the venue because my FI and I only have 1 weekend that it is possible to get married and have a honeymoon.  This post is sort of an update and I need objective opinions.

If you did not read that thread, read my OP first to get the backstory: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1007397/help-i-m-stressed#latest

Anyway, we have figured out some more stuff. I got my FI to talk to the registrar at his school and he has figured out the exact schedule for 2015.  We were correct with our guesstimate, the weekend of April 25th is the weekend.  However, the coordinator at the venue emailed me today and told me that the 25th has been booked We are ok with getting married on a Friday or a Sunday so the fact that the venue is booked is not that big of a deal.  However, I want to avoid Sunday for the reasons listed in the other thread. Friday, the 24th, is my birthday.  So I am not sure what to do here. 

FI still hasn't seen the venue but we have an appointment on Saturday.  He does not really care about which day (Friday, Saturday, or Sunday) and said that if I want to cross Friday off completely, it is my decision.  So I guess now I have to decide which I care about more, the date or the venue.  This venue is my top choice (The Pavilion at Pinehills in Plymouth, MA incase anyone was from the area ). I love it and it has everything that was on our list of "must haves".  There are other venues in the area that still have the 25th open, but none of them I like as much as Pinehills.  I would rather not get married on my birthday, but if I have to, I will. 

So just wondering, what would you do? Would you get married on your birthday? If you didn't have much flexibility on time, which would you choose? I have asked around and gotten pretty mixed responses.  Some responses I think are biased since the people I ask are people I know. Looking for what the unbiased community thinks!

erinlin25

eh, I would not care if it was my birthday but now that I am in my 30s "it is just another day, lol."  If  I were younger I would maybe think twice, but if it came down to loving the venue and there really is not another venue you would like then I would say book the 24th.  At the end of the day what is one day difference going to make?  You would have your rehearsal on your birthday if you got married on the 25th, so either way your birthday is going to be in the mix.   That is only something you can really answer since it is your birthday.  At least your husband only needs to remember one date

Maggie0829

I have never cared about my birthday so it wouldn't bother me.  And honestly I think getting married trumps turning one year older.  And think of it this way, it will be really easy to remember your anniversary.

Angusaur

I would prefer not to. Right now our current anniversary is Christmas. We never really celebrate our anniversary because our son's birthday is December 28th, and with Christmas and new years it all kind of gets lost in the shuffle. I don't care about getting gifts (cough, kind of, cough) but I do feel a little down we don't have a special day to celebrate. We always say we'll pick a date in January to celebrate but we never really do.

As selfish as it sounds... tired of condensed special dates! Haha. I would like my birthday and wedding anniversary to be separate. 

manateehugger

Is there a better weekend you could pick and just delay your honeymoon a couple months? Most people do that anyway. Smashing a wedding into a tight schedule sounds hectic.

Otherwise, if it doesn't bother you, who really cares? I'm getting married four days after my birthday.

mrsbanany

Thank you for the input! @Angusaur you just reminded me of the condensed dates.  Literally every special date that we celebrate is from Dec-April. 

Dec - Christmas

Jan - New Years, and then my FI, my mom and my uncle's birthday - all on the same day.

Feb - V-day and our current anniversary - again on the same day 

April - My birthday and now our "actual" anniversary.

I feel like we are already condensing everything into this time frame and I would kind of like to spread it out, but I don't really have a choice.  Like @erinlin25 said, my birthday will be involved anyway.  

Here is another question though.  I feel like people are less likely to drink and have a good time at a Sunday wedding because the next day is a work day.  Also, we are getting married in the church and the church does not offer evening ceremonies so on a Friday, not many people might go because the ceremony would be during a work day. So what do you do in that instance?

mrsbanany

PDKH said:

Is there a better weekend you could pick and just delay your honeymoon a couple months? Most people do that anyway. Smashing a wedding into a tight schedule sounds hectic.

Otherwise, if it doesn't bother you, who really cares? I'm getting married four days after my birthday.

There is no other weekend for the ceremony.  We would have to get married the weekend of the 25th but we could have a little "wedding weekend getaway".  We could push back the honeymoon to August when he has about 10 days off, those days are unknown until they happen so we couldn't plan a wedding for then but we could plan a honeymoon. 

chibiyui

I personally wouldn't want to get married on my Birthday, but similar to @angusaur Our current anniversary is Dec. 17, we celebrate Christmas and my Birthday is Jan. 14.  Having Everything all at once is a bit much.

So, I don't think it's ideal, but if thats the venue you want, and that is the only weekend you have, then go for it. Getting married does trump birthdays.

Angusaur

@amandaj424 - The venue we love is basically booked solid for Saturdays in 2015. Only a few dates are open, none of which appeal to us. (July and November) so we decided to go with a Friday or Sunday. Weather is a more important priority to us than a Saturday. Plus we save $$$. I've been back and forth with the Friday vs Sunday and decided to go with Sunday.

Friday might be more of a party atmosphere but people have to take off work or leave early. I'm thinking most would be tired once the late night comes around as well. I plan to offer beer and wine and I still think with my crowd, a sunday will still have a party vibe, just maybe not as much as a Saturday night. But since this is technically a DW for me (3 hours away) and 1 hour from most of my guests, logistically a Friday would just be too hard. 

I think when deciding on a Friday vs Sunday you need to think about the distance between the two venues if applicable, start times, how many OOT guests you're having, how many drinkers. Sundays don't seem to be inconveniencing to anyone except the people who don't like doing anything on the last weekend day off. 

erinlin25

we got married on a Friday and majority of our guests had to travel 2+ hours... and we had practically a perfect attendance (only the ones we knew from the start could not come, did not come-- no one declined just because it was a Friday..and the people traveling liked that they had the weekend to hang out, etc.  It was an evening ceremony but even then majority of people had to take the day off to be there.  We also liked that we had the weekend to hang out with guests before heading off to our "mini moon."  Of course some people may not be able to take the day off, but majority of people would do it for a wedding. 

And we like you mentioned as an option--  We did a little "mini moon" about 3 hours from home the sunday-monday after the wedding. And then our actual honeymoon was 3 months later.  I loved getting to spread it out--we were tired after the wedding so it was nice to just chill and hang out with friends and family for a day and then get away for ourselves even if only a day + we then had something to look forward to with the honeymoon a few months later.

and-- a friend of mine got married on a Sunday a few years ago, and we all still drank and had a great time.  We had to travel for it down south anyway, so we flew out Sunday morning; had time to hang by the pool, have lunch, get ready, etc.  Went to the wedding and then we all flew back home early monday morning.  I took Monday off, but a few of my friends actually went to work from the airport. Bottom line is there will always be guests who may or may not be able to make it no matter what day of the week it is.  some people would not want or not be able to take time off if needed, and others will do whatever it takes to be there.  As long as you and your VIPs are good with the date that is all you can be worried about. 

jenniferurs

I'm getting married on my 30th birthday. Actually planned it that way on purpose. But that was because, with the loss of my father a year ago, and my friend passing away on last year's birthday, I just wasn't viewing the day in a positive light anymore and thought what better way to change my perspective on the day than to marry my fiancé. That being said, my situation is a little different, but I don't see anything wrong with getting married on your birthday. I guarantee you'll never have a better birthday party.

jenna8984

I feel like you're always going to celebrate them together anyways....like if your birthday is 24th and your anniversary is 26th you're pretty much always going to go to dinner one of the days, or do something special one of the days, or go away for the weekend for both of the days. I don't know you guys but I find it unlikely that you would actually have a celebration/ special night and then do it again 2 nights later. So in that sense you may as well just have it same day because it's essentially going to be celebrated as the same day anyways, you know? 

KytchynWitche

I'm getting married the day before my birthday, and I'm not too bothered by it. It's a good date, easy to remember, we'll have good weather, so that's fine. But, I am already used to "sharing" my birthday, because FI is only 3 days older than me so we already only celebrate once.

Whether you take 24 or 26, you will still most likely be celebrating just once for the whole lot.

Cookie Pusher

I would have no problems getting married on my birthday... if I lived in th southern hemisphere. My birthday is at the end of January, and it has almost always snowed and/or been bitterly cold - 2 things I don't want on my wedding day.

photokitty

If you go with this venue I would put in the contract that you want the option of trading for Saturday if the date opens up. 2015 is a long way off and the other couple might need to move their date or what not.

I wouldn't want to have my bday on my anniversary. I like getting my own dessert and would be bummed if I got one combined gift and card. And yes I realize that is juvenile and lame, but it's how I feel… But maybe you aren't a 5 year old inside like me ;-p

KeptInStitches

My family has a problem with compressed celebrations (two birthdays and an anniversary in 3 days), and I really want to avoid that if possible. I wouldn't want to get married on my birthday if I could avoid it. The anniversary always gets ignored - not intentionally, but it's what ends up happening.

jenniferurs

prettybirdy27 said:

I personally wouldn't like it if my wedding was on my birthday.  I would feel a little AWish, to be honest.  But I sat here and tried to put myself in your shoes, and if my venue had only had my birthday open, I probably would've had it that day because I ADORED my venue and couldn't imagine getting married anywhere else.

How does getting married on your birthday make you an AW? If anything, I think it's the opposite. Instead of reserving the day entirely for yourself so that your birth and your birth alone can be celebrated, you're committing to share the date for the rest of your life with another person/event.

jenniferurs

prettybirdy27 said:

jenniferurs said:

prettybirdy27 said:

I personally wouldn't like it if my wedding was on my birthday.  I would feel a little AWish, to be honest.  But I sat here and tried to put myself in your shoes, and if my venue had only had my birthday open, I probably would've had it that day because I ADORED my venue and couldn't imagine getting married anywhere else.

How does getting married on your birthday make you an AW? If anything, I think it's the opposite. Instead of reserving the day entirely for yourself so that your birth and your birth alone can be celebrated, you're committing to share the date for the rest of your life with another person/event.

I can see your point.  I'd just feel like I was coming across as "Hey!  Look at me!  It's my wedding!  It's my birthday!  Lots of me today!" 


Yeah I could see that if you were to make a big spectacle of it. But I don't plan to have announcements or anything of that ilk that will draw attention to that fact. It'll just be business as usual.

buttercup1958

chibiyui I love your gif! that game took forever to beat

chibiyui

@buttercuo1958
Thanks!

lc07

I think it depends on how you normally celebrate your birthday and if that matters to you. We have a small group of friends that get together for each other's birthdays and I would want to spend my anniversary with my husband alone. 

MaryGraceRich

I wouldnt get married on my birthday. I celebrate things as often as possible so I would want the two days to ne separate.
Your thread had me confused and doubting myself for a moment. I must have missed where you said April of 2015 because I am getting married 4/25 of this year and its a friday. I thought for a moment "OMG did I put the wrong date on my invitations!" I need sleep.

natswild

I'll be getting married two days after my birthday, and wouldn't have it any other way! FI's mom was married the day before her birthday...