Bachelorette Party - buying drinks

LimaD_23382142

I'm the MOH in my friend's wedding this summer. I've never been into the bar/party scene but I know that she wants to go out bar hopping and stuff for her bachelorette party. And I'm all for that because it's about her and I want her to have a great time! I just feel like I don't really know what I'm doing. lol I'll ask other BMs for ideas on where to go and such, but I'm also not sure about how much this will cost? I'm assuming the bride should drink for free since it's her bach party?
I already plan on picking up her tab at dinner, and am just trying to get an idea of how much I'll be spending that night so I'm not completely shocked.
(I'm also a SAHM so we're living off 1 income, I don't have a lot of extra money to spend on a night of partying.) Is this something I can ask the other girls (or at least the other BMs) to help chip in for her drinks? or is that a no-no? or does the bride pay for some of her drinks usually? (i have no clue)

PrettyGirlLost

LimaD said:

I'm the MOH in my friend's wedding this summer. I've never been into the bar/party scene but I know that she wants to go out bar hopping and stuff for her bachelorette party. And I'm all for that because it's about her and I want her to have a great time! I just feel like I don't really know what I'm doing. lol I'll ask other BMs for ideas on where to go and such, but I'm also not sure about how much this will cost? I'm assuming the bride should drink for free since it's her bach party?
I already plan on picking up her tab at dinner, and am just trying to get an idea of how much I'll be spending that night so I'm not completely shocked.
(I'm also a SAHM so we're living off 1 income, I don't have a lot of extra money to spend on a night of partying.) Is this something I can ask the other girls (or at least the other BMs) to help chip in for her drinks? or is that a no-no? or does the bride pay for some of her drinks usually? (i have no clue)

You should talk to each BM individual and ask them 1) if they want to participate in hosting the bachlorette party and 2) what their budget is.

Once you have the budget info of everyone who wishes to participate, then that's your total budget for this event.  Do not go over that budget.

If that means you can only buy the bride dinner and a few drinks at one bar, then that's it.

OliveOilsMom

Usually b parties in my circle are dinner, where people divide out the bride's dinner.  Then at the bar, usually everyone will take turns paying for the bride's drinks.

Ditto PrettyGirlLost, contact each BM separately and find out the budget.  Find a restaurant/bar that you know the bride will love and have dinner.  Get some suggestions for bars from either the other BMs or the bride herself.  It's not bad to ask her input on things you're not sure about to make sure you give her a great party.  If the other BMs' budgets are higher than yours, if you are comfortable, let them know that you can only spend x on the evening, but you want to buy the bride dinner and a few drinks.

Jena8ly

Definitely contact the BMs before you plan! I was once a BM for a friend who's MOH informed the rest of the BMs as a group, in front of the bride, the night of, that we owed her $$ for the party that night. It wasn't that I minded chipping in, I just wasn't prepared and spent some time looking for an ATM in a city I wasn't familiar with. It would have been nice to have been contacted beforehand, so we could have discreetly handed the MOH an envelope instead of watching 5 BM scramble to their wallets all while the bride was waiting to go celebrate.

manateehugger

Yeah definitely touch base on budget ranges first. It can be as simple as, "I'm starting to the think about bachelorette party plans. Please let me know what you are comfortable spending for the night so it doesn't get too extravagant."

Don't ask them to directly pay for anything; it's awkward. As far as drinks, I'm pretty used to everyone taking turns to cover the bride's drink when out and about. 

Jen4948

One other thing:  If they say they will contribute X amount each, get X amount from each of them in your hands before you make the plans.  Don't hit anyone up for money at the event itself.

logana1

I went to a bachelorette party that ended up being totally spontaneous at a bar and I was just an attendant at the wedding. We just took turns buying the bride drinks. It was fun. We picked a town/area we could walk around and go shopping, drinking and have dinner.

ei34

At bach parties where we barhop, different BM's/friends of the bride just take turns buying the bride drinks.  It's very casual, not organized beforehand by the MOH- those that would like to buy the bride a drink do so.

As for a pre-barhopping dinner: do contact the rest of the BP and get a figure that works for everyone's budget before picking a restaurant.  It's generous of you to plan on picking up the bride's tab, when I'm eating with a group at a bach party, the group splits the bride's tab evenly.

Bubblegum5586

I've seen it done 2 ways;

1. I've been told ahead of time that we are expected to pitch in money if we are participating in the bach party. This has ranged from $5-$20 to cover just drinks or even dinner sometimes. The MOH held onto all the money and paid for the bride all night.

2. For drinks only - everyone in attendance wore a ribbon tied in a bow on their wrist and when the bride pulled/untied your ribbon it was your turn to buy her a drink. Typing it out, it sounds kind of rude, but it didn't feel that way! It was fun and that way I knew I bought the bride 1 drink and I didn't feel obligated to do more then that.

*Edited - typo

logana1

bubblegum1309 said:

I've seen it done 2 ways;

1. I've been told ahead of time that we are expected to pitch in money if we are participating in the bach party. This has ranged from $5-$20 to cover just drinks or even dinner sometimes. The MOH held onto all the money and paid for the bride all night.

2. For drinks only - everyone in attendance wore a ribbon tied in a bow on their wrist and when the bride pulled/untied your ribbon it was your turn to but her a drink. Typing it out, it sounds kind of rude, but it didn't feel that way! It was fun and that way I knew I bought the bride 1 drink and I didn't feel obligated to do more then that.

Ribbon idea is cute! 

mimiphin

logana1 said:

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bubblegum1309 said:

I've seen it done 2 ways;

1. I've been told ahead of time that we are expected to pitch in money if we are participating in the bach party. This has ranged from $5-$20 to cover just drinks or even dinner sometimes. The MOH held onto all the money and paid for the bride all night.

2. For drinks only - everyone in attendance wore a ribbon tied in a bow on their wrist and when the bride pulled/untied your ribbon it was your turn to but her a drink. Typing it out, it sounds kind of rude, but it didn't feel that way! It was fun and that way I knew I bought the bride 1 drink and I didn't feel obligated to do more then that.

Ribbon idea is cute! 

I like it too!!

AddieCake

I like the ribbon idea, too. It lets everyone contribute w/o anyone feeling pressured to contribute more than they can afford. 

CaliMel11

That ribbon idea is nice!