Invitation Language

lday998

I know it's bad form to put an incorrect time on your invitation for the ceremony. However, I am wondering if I can phrase it like:

Ceremony begins at 5:30pm

Please arrive by 5:15pm

My ceremony is outside in a garden by a mansion and the bridal party will be in position behind the garden on a path. This means that if anyone shows up even just a couple minutes late, they are going to be coming up behind us and need to pass us in order to get to their seats.

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Jen4948

No, you can't do this on wedding invitations.

The rule is that people are welcome to arrive right up until the start time listed on the invitation, which should be the time the ceremony actually begins.

That said, late people are expected to wait outside the ceremony area until they can enter and take seats unobtrusively.  If that isn't possible, or they're really late, they are expected to not enter the area at all during the ceremony.

Inkdancer

If they have to come in behind you, their embarrassment will be their punishment. Assume adults know how to get to where they need to be on time.

chibiyui

FI and I showed up to a wedding late once (not our fault). It was outdoors, and we stood off to the side far away from the set up so as not to intrude.

And I felt like an ass.

Emmy1493

I am sure they will know to plan their time accordingly as to not be late. There is no need to tell them as it comes off as rude and bossy. Just put the time your ceremony is supposed to start, and leave it as is.

wrigleyville

lday998 said:

I know it's bad form to put an incorrect time on your invitation for the ceremony. However, I am wondering if I can phrase it like:

Ceremony begins at 5:30pm

Please arrive by 5:15pm

My ceremony is outside in a garden by a mansion and the bridal party will be in position behind the garden on a path. This means that if anyone shows up even just a couple minutes late, they are going to be coming up behind us and need to pass us in order to get to their seats.

 

 

This irritates me when I see it (and I do sometimes). It's like the couple is telling us we don't know how to arrive at the proper time, and it's insulting. Plus, anyone who is chronically late is still going to be late even if you tell them to show up on time.

Basically, don't do it.

artbyallie

Do you have a coordinator or planner? Our DOC held late arrivals at the door until they could enter without disrupting the procession.

moosette113

My BIL and SIL got married at a venue that required them to write in the ceremony time on the invitations a half hour earlier (the first of many problems with their choice of venue). The venue claimed it was going to prevent anyone from barging in during the ceremony. Well, most people showed up at 2:45 for a supposed 3 pm start time (actual start time was scheduled for 3:30). Some came as early as 2:30, and the ceremony didn't actually start until 3:45. And people STILL walked in late. There's no note you can make on an invitation that will absolutely prevent people from showing up late.

HisGirlFriday13

artbyallie said:

Do you have a coordinator or planner? Our DOC held late arrivals at the door until they could enter without disrupting the procession.

This is what our DOC did, too. 

OP, this is incredibly rude. It implies to your guests that they're not adults who can arrive on time. 

Story time: I had a friend who did this. He put a start time and arrive time on his invite -- AND made purposely made them earlier than the real time. You know what? The bride was late, the wedding started 20 minutes late from it's "real" start time, which was 30 minutes later than we were told it was going to start, and 50 minutes later than we were told to get there.

So by the time the bride walked down the aisle, most of us had been sitting, stewing, for nearly an hour. We were not happy people.

octoberbride9

I arrived late to a wedding once (it was a 3 hour drive and I encountered some challenges along the way), and while I felt bad that I was in the lobby of the church with the bride, it really wasn't a big deal. I simply waited in the lobby until she processed, then I slipped in the back row.   People shouldn't be made to feel stupid, things happen. Most people will get their early enough, and if some don't, they'll be grown ups about it and you'll be focused on more important things, so it'll all work out.  I agree w/ PPs that you should just put the start time and be done with it.