Lights On/Lights Off

ShallowSeas

My friend and I were talking about this over the weekend. Do you and your SO prefer to have sex with the lights on or the lights off?  Why?  I don't think I have a preference, other than I don't like it super bright.

Swazzle

We tend to do it with the lights off but that's really just because they're usually already off when we start fooling around. I wouldn't go out of the way to turn them off it they're already on.

Blackbird230

Lights on. We like to see each other and it makes things less clumsy.

GoldenPenguin

Swazzle said:

We tend to do it with the lights off but that's really just because they're usually already off when we start fooling around. I wouldn't go out of the way to turn them off it they're already on.

Exactly this. We have morning sex a lot on the weekends, so it's bright out, and it doesn't make any difference to me. 

ShallowSeas

Kait said:

Lights on. We like to see each other and it makes things less clumsy.

@Kait I like lights on once in a while because its nice to see each other sometimes, but my friend thought it was really awkward to have the lights on because she felt like her and her BF were just staring awkwardly at each other...which I don't really understand.

Hummingbird125

Dim lights. I think we usually leave the bedroom closet light on, and the main light off. However I will admit that now that I've been exercising/dieting for the past several weeks I don't think I'd care if there was a spotlight on me!

CASK85

We don't generally adjust the lighting before sex. So this usually results in lights on sex. 

KeptInStitches

Lights off. I'm legally blind, so the bedroom ceiling light has two 100-watt equivalent CFL bulbs in it. Leads to someone squinting into the lights. Not sexy.

bethsmiles

CASK85 said:

We don't generally adjust the lighting before sex. So this usually results in lights on sex. 

This. I don't think either one of us cares if the lights are on or off so they usually are on.

Pepper6

We usually have lights off, but the uber-romantic TV lighting.  LOL.

Peaseblossom55

lights on most times.

Blackbird230

severmilli12 said:

Kait said:

Lights on. We like to see each other and it makes things less clumsy.

@Kait I like lights on once in a while because its nice to see each other sometimes, but my friend thought it was really awkward to have the lights on because she felt like her and her BF were just staring awkwardly at each other...which I don't really understand.

I feel like there's a bigger issue there.... My ex used to only want to do it with the lights off and he told all my friends post-breakup it was because he couldn't stand looking at me. 

ShallowSeas

Kait said:

severmilli12 said:

Kait said:

Lights on. We like to see each other and it makes things less clumsy.

@Kait I like lights on once in a while because its nice to see each other sometimes, but my friend thought it was really awkward to have the lights on because she felt like her and her BF were just staring awkwardly at each other...which I don't really understand.

I feel like there's a bigger issue there.... My ex used to only want to do it with the lights off and he told all my friends post-breakup it was because he couldn't stand looking at me. 

@Kait that's awful!!! Guys can be dicks.    I also feel like there are some issues there. Either she's insecure or not as comfortable as she should be around her BF.

ShallowSeas

TwoDimes said:

Kait said:

severmilli12 said:

Kait said:

Lights on. We like to see each other and it makes things less clumsy.

@Kait I like lights on once in a while because its nice to see each other sometimes, but my friend thought it was really awkward to have the lights on because she felt like her and her BF were just staring awkwardly at each other...which I don't really understand.

I feel like there's a bigger issue there.... My ex used to only want to do it with the lights off and he told all my friends post-breakup it was because he couldn't stand looking at me. 

1. @Kait, that's terrible! Thank goodness he's an ex!

2. @severmilli12, could it be because your friend and her BF just don't know each other that well yet and/or feel comfortable with each other yet? I feel like I could have said the same thing early on in any of my relationships. But by the time you've been with someone awhile, it shouldn't be awkward to look at your SO during intimacy. 

@TwoDimes They've been together for a year.  I think its strange. I could completely understand if they were at the beginning of their relationship and weren't completely comfortable yet, but a year!? There's some issues there and I think a lot of insecurities as well...

[Deleted User]

I guess I never really thought about this. I don't think we have a preference, but I agree with @TwoDimes that men are very visual. H probably prefers the lights on.

 

@severmilli12 - If you friend and her SO can't even look at each other they must be either really uncomfortable with their bodies or not be very comfortable with sex in general. I can't imagine not being able to look a H. Heck, sometimes we laugh, tease each other or carry on an entire conversation during sex. Intimacy is nothing to be ashamed about.

ShallowSeas

allusive007 said:

I guess I never really thought about this. I don't think we have a preference, but I agree with @TwoDimes that men are very visual. H probably prefers the lights on.

 

@severmilli12 - If you friend and her SO can't even look at each other they must be either really uncomfortable with their bodies or not be very comfortable with sex in general. I can't imagine not being able to look a H. Heck, sometimes we laugh, tease each other or carry on an entire conversation during sex. Intimacy is nothing to be ashamed about.

@Allusive007 I completely agree!!! I thought it was so strange so I had to make this post to get other's opinions. If you're not comfortable looking at your SO while having sex...maybe you shouldn't be with them.

[Deleted User]

@severmilli12 - I don't know that it necessarily says anything about their relationship. I just think that they may be very uncomfortable with sex, or haven't talked about it enough as a couple to feel comfortable with each other yet. There are all kinds of ways we learn and develop our own thoughts on sex: parents, friends, church, society. If they are happy with their sex life, that's all that matters. I'm just saying I would be uncomfortable in a relationship where you couldn't talk about it or look at each other.

labro

It doesn't matter for us. We don't go out of our way to turn on or turn off the lights. It just happens when it happens. We tend to fool around a lot on weekend mornings so it's usually bright in our room at that point.

[Deleted User]

It's not a huge concern for us whether the lights are on or off but most of the time they are off since we usually fool around at night.

suzie211

We do not discriminate lighting when getting nekkid.  Whatever the lighting situation, we're just happy to take our clothes off:)

smalfrie19

Normally with the lights on. But that's because we normally shower, go fool around and then get up and clean up before getting back into bed for sleeping. There have been times when its lights off..but only if one of us is in the mood after we have settled down for the evening.

phira

Lights on, mostly because they're usually on and we don't bother turning them off. I'm also really visually impaired without my contact in, so even if we're doing it at night, lights on helps me not, like, knock shit over.

minskat30

Ok I'm surprised I'm the first to say "candlelight".    Unless it is the morning obviously. 

ShallowSeas

minskat30 said:

Ok I'm surprised I'm the first to say "candlelight".    Unless it is the morning obviously. 

@minskat30 candlelight would be perfect!! I wish I had the mindset to be like, "ohhh let me light a candle first!" but once it gets going, its going   So its either lights on or lights off. I might do the candle thing soon tho...sounds nice

minskat30

@severmilli12 - Its romantic.  I'm surprised we've kept to it like 80% of the time but it just sets the mood.  H and I used to have a "lights-out" night once a week too (no computers (other than my blackberry for emergencies), no TVs, no phones, no artifical light...just candles).  It was fun actually cooking in candlelight, playing board games or just talking.  We might have to implement that again.

phira

@minskat30 I'd LOVE to do that, but my partner's OCD makes it hard. He gets too anxious that we'll set off the smoke detector and get in trouble with the landlord.

beanbot2002

BriSox81 said:

Swazzle said:

We tend to do it with the lights off but that's really just because they're usually already off when we start fooling around. I wouldn't go out of the way to turn them off it they're already on.

Exactly this. We have morning sex a lot on the weekends, so it's bright out, and it doesn't make any difference to me. 

GAH! I miss Sunday morning sex!!! Seriously. 8 months of fucking pelvic rest! UGH! I tell you what...in 2 weeks when I hit 35 weeks we are boning the shit out of each other!

minskat30

phira said:

@minskat30 I'd LOVE to do that, but my partner's OCD makes it hard. He gets too anxious that we'll set off the smoke detector and get in trouble with the landlord.

You can always try the flame-less candels.  Not as nice but still better than nothing. 

minskat30

@beanbot2002 - 8 months?!? That sounds aweful! 

beanbot2002

That's what it's been just about. I've been on full pelvic rest for the ENTIRE pregnancy. We weren't even allowed to fool around (on my end). IT HAS BEEN TORTURE! I wish this on NO ONE! But little No-Uh is worth it, we decided.

bethsmiles

minskat30 said:

Ok I'm surprised I'm the first to say "candlelight".    Unless it is the morning obviously. 

We've done that on several occasions but it isn't something we do every time. But candlelight is awesome