gifts

mdiaz38

My fiancé and I have been living together and will continue to live in the same home after getting married so we really don't need housewares. Its going to be a pretty small wedding (max 80 people) most of whom are close family and friends. Realistically, we don't want their money either. Would it be considered "tacky" if I included a notecard in the invitation with something like "Your presence is the greatest present" in lieu of a registry note?

Lauderdale Pink

While I applaud the sentiment, I think you might make people uncomfortable.  You could do a registry and make choices that are very reasonably priced or not do a registry at all.  If people ask, you could share your sentiment verbally.  Please remember, guests really want to be a part of your happiness and they want to bring a gift that, they hope, you will love and will make part of your new life together.  

mdiaz38

I was worried it would come across that way. The problem is we live in a VERY small house that we have been living in for a year. We have everything we need. I can't imagine what I would put on a registry and I feel like without a registry card people would be calling and asking if I forgot one. I thought that those phone conversations would be even MORE awkward.

sarahsmiles326

It's not considered polite to include registry cards in your invitations anyway. That's info that would go on your wedding website. Do you have any household items that need upgrading? My FI & I don't live together, but we found a lot of items we owned that could use an upgrade (ie, a hamilton beach blender to a ninja). If not, you could always have your family spread your wishes word of mouth, if guests ask them why you don't have a registry.

FutureMrsPender

mdiaz38

Here is a thought...But what if you put in the invite a note that says in lieu of gifts they can make a notable donation to a charity of your choice that is dear to you or your fiance? that way they feel they can give a gift if they choose but it will go to a great cause?

Ive seen it done before and you can google on pinterest ideas on how to write it and be tasteful.

Lauderdale Pink

@Future-That is a warm and wonderful sentiment, but I still think people would rather be a part of "dressing a nest".  Have to go with Sarahsmiles on this one.  Some aspect of their household items might need upgrading.  Add to that a list of household linens (bedding, bath towels, kitchen towels) which have a fairly short lifespan anyway, and there is always room for a new item or two. In the kitchen, a good set of steak knives or new utensils would not take up much space either.  

Also, if this bride has friends who want to make a shower for her, they might make it a lingerie theme. 

d2va

You should not add anything on your formal invitation about gifts / money / registry, it is very impolite. Usually gift registry will be put on the shower invitation because its to "shower" the bride... but since it seems like you do not want gifts you should decline a shower unless like PP mentioned maybe lingerie party.

People are going to get you what they are going to get you regardless, you can make a very small registry with smaller things, and spread it by word of mouth that you dont want any gifts.

Most people will not go empty handed to a wedding, so you will probably get cash. 

mdiaz38

I am not having a shower/engagement/lingerie party so maybe through word of mouth and subtle hints will work. Thank you all for the great advice