How would I word a Save the Date for a post-wedding party?

rickydee2003

First off, this is my first time using this message board so I'm hoping that, after reading this, no one will attack my question.  I plan to have a courthouse wedding this Spring then a post-wedding party to celebrate the marriage this Summer.  We decided on a courthouse ceremony because a majority of our families are out of state and also, this is more or less a "shotgun" wedding (we have our reasons for planning the wedding so quickly).

I would like to send out Save the Dates mainly for our families out of state who I know won't be able to make it to our wedding but would have a better chance of attending a celebration party if given the date of it in advance. 

How would I word these Save the Dates?

And when would I send them to give our families adequate time to plan their trip (since the timeframe is so short)?  Can it be before the wedding since we already know the wedding date or must it be sent after?

hlvonb

rickydee2003 said:

First off, this is my first time using this message board so I'm hoping that, after reading this, no one will attack my question.  I plan to have a courthouse wedding this Spring then a post-wedding party to celebrate the marriage this Summer.  We decided on a courthouse ceremony because a majority of our families are out of state and also, this is more or less a "shotgun" wedding (we have our reasons for planning the wedding so quickly).

I would like to send out Save the Dates mainly for our families out of state who I know won't be able to make it to our wedding but would have a better chance of attending a celebration party if given the date of it in advance. 

How would I word these Save the Dates?

And when would I send them to give our families adequate time to plan their trip (since the timeframe is so short)?  Can it be before the wedding since we already know the wedding date or must it be sent after?

@rickydee2003

I would think that they could be worded like any save the date. I have received a save the date for non-wedding related things. The only thing I think you would need to watch the wording on would be the actual invitation.

AddieCake

I like indicating on it  that you were married in a private ceremony. Some guests need things spelled out for them and might not get that "party celebrating their marriage" means they are not actually invited to a wedding. 

KatWAG

rickydee2003 said:

First off, this is my first time using this message board so I'm hoping that, after reading this, no one will attack my question.  I plan to have a courthouse wedding this Spring then a post-wedding party to celebrate the marriage this Summer.  We decided on a courthouse ceremony because a majority of our families are out of state and also, this is more or less a "shotgun" wedding (we have our reasons for planning the wedding so quickly).

I would like to send out Save the Dates mainly for our families out of state who I know won't be able to make it to our wedding but would have a better chance of attending a celebration party if given the date of it in advance. 

How would I word these Save the Dates?

And when would I send them to give our families adequate time to plan their trip (since the timeframe is so short)?  Can it be before the wedding since we already know the wedding date or must it be sent after?

I would use the PPs suggestions. But I would wait to send the STDs until after you are married. If there is only 3 or so months between the ceremony and the party, I would skip the STDs all together.

Also, it is perfectly fine to get married and then have a party/ celebration later. But it wont be a wedding reception. So no bridal party, garter loss, first dances, or recreating the ceremony. What you can do is host an awesome party with great food, drinks and music.

KatWAG

I would use this wording. I dont think it is important to know the exact date you were married sicne it will be a private ceremony.

You are invited to a party celebrating the recent marriage of 

Name

and

Name

[details]

 

I would mail all invites. You dont want to risk a random person seeing the invite on your coworkers desk and then having the random person ask where their invite is.

Jen4948

rickydee2003 said:

Thank you all for the responses! After posting this, I also thought the same as KatWAG with not sending out STDs. I was thinking on just sending an invite to everyone (including our families away) that has both the ceremony date and post wedding party date so that everyone is aware of what's happening. We will understand that our families may not be able to make it physically (we can always try video chat) but there are friends here locally who may be able to attend. If not, they will still know of the post wedding party date in advance to plan for it. So would it be ok to send the wedding invite and also include a post wedding invite/rsvp card and send it before our wedding date? Also many of my friends work with me, is it ok to just give them the invite in person (in the envelope) or do I have to mail them still?

I would not do this.  Since you are not inviting them to the actual wedding, you should not send them a wedding invitation because this will lead them to believe they are invited to the actual wedding.  Just send them the invitation to your at-home celebration. 

And I'd mail them all and cut back on wedding talk in the office, especially when around co-workers who are not invited to your celebration.

rickydee2003

Thank you all for the responses! After posting this, I also thought the same as KatWAG with not sending out STDs. I was thinking on just sending an invite to everyone (including our families away) that has both the ceremony date and post wedding party date so that everyone is aware of what's happening. We will understand that our families may not be able to make it physically (we can always try video chat) but there are friends here locally who may be able to attend. If not, they will still know of the post wedding party date in advance to plan for it.

So would it be ok to send the wedding invite and also include a post wedding invite/rsvp card and send it before our wedding date?

Also many of my friends work with me, is it ok to just give them the invite in person (in the envelope) or do I have to mail them still?

CMGragain

Please do not send out Save the Dates for your party.  The party is not a part of your wedding. Having a lovely party is fine anytime, but it can't be more than that.  Don't try to turn it into a wanna-be wedding reception.  You will be a properly married woman, not a bride.  Send out your party invitations several weeks before your party, just like for any other celebration.  You can inform out of town people by word of mouth earlier, but don't be surprised if a lot of them decline.  This is not your wedding that you are inviting them to attend.

Inkdancer

@Schatzi13 I have never seen Save the Dates issued for anything except weddings. You can, of course, contact people in other ways. A quick email, text, or phone call to say "hey we are having a party on X day I really hope you can come" is perfectly acceptable.

theartistformerlyknownas

I think you can go ahead and just send invitations to the party, skipping the Save the Dates, but it's ok to send them relatively early since people are out of town and so people don't wonder why they weren't invited to the wedding. You can word it something like "(Bride) and (Groom) will be married in a private ceremony on (date). Please join us for a celebration of their marriage on (date)" with the full details and RSVP information. It'll quash a lot of rumors/hurt feelings over perceived slights.

Save the Dates are a relatively new phenomenon, and IMHO, often just an added, unnecessary excuse for people to talk about their wedding (as we all love to do!). :-p They're not required, and certainly not for a party.