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Getting in Shape

XP: Helping Fi lose some weight

So, on Monday we went to Target and Fi bought a Family Size box of Chips Ahoy.  Tuesday night the empty box was in the trash.  I asked him (and I realize I should have maybe moderated my reaction) "Did you eat ALL of these?"  He covered his face with his hoodie in a big show of shame.  ...Oops.  Fi fail: me.

Fi is on the low end of obese, has been for a few years, and tells me he wants to lose weight but I think he just doesn't know how to start.  I really have no idea how to help him without massively hurting his feelings.  I don't have experience with weight loss-- been a fairly medium weight my whole life-- so it's not like I can say, "This is what worked for me!"

Dinner at home is always healthy, and lunch is usually leftovers.  But I think he's eating a lot of junk at work out of the vending machines, plus they have the free candy cart that gave him the sugar-high last week, and sometimes he buys snacks to have at home and just houses them like the Chips Ahoy.  We both have Fitbit and he usually gets his 10,000 steps a day, but he's intimidated by other exercise.

I'm thinking about suggesting he keeps a food journal, and I'll do it too, at least as a first step.  I'm on board to do a diet with him, I just don't know what is healthy and will work.  Anyone have ideas or tips for how to communicate with him about this?  He tells me he wants to lose weight, so I know he's aware of the problem and wants to get healthier.  But when I bring it up, he gets really withdrawn.
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"I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

Re: XP: Helping Fi lose some weight

  • My FI started putting on some pounds this winter, and I finally told him that I think *we* need to start eating healthier and not let ourselves go.  He does the cooking, so I also asked him to start cooking healthier food because it was important to me to get in shape.  I think by phrasing it as a project to work on together it wasn't a blow to his self esteem and he was able to get on board with it.  He also knows that I'm more in the mood for bedroom activities when we workout together, so that's a little extra incentive.  

    I just joined myfitnesspal about 2 weeks ago and it's really making a difference.  I think it's a great way to food journal if you're looking for something like that.

    plentyofus
  • Side note: I hope that post didn't sound super shallow. I just want us both to be happy, healthy, and active.

    plentyofus
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Thanks-- yeah I agree it's important to work on this together.  I wouldn't mind losing a few pounds myself, so it's easy to say I think WE should eat healthier and work out together!
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • I'll second that workout makes me want more intimate time. It's a mixture of things- the chemicals your body produces from working out and feeling confident in your body, plus for me watching my man work out is sexy. Everyone likes muscles, right?

    I started working out with my man lately, and he has outdone me. Definitely suggest you guys do it together! I started working out to look sexy in my dress and asked my man to work out with me to keep me motivated. So at first he found it to be a chore, but then decided to start working on building abs and chest muscles and arms, and all of a sudden he works out more than me. Since you cook, make sure you are making meals with healthy lean protein for "fuel" for the body. The cravings are so much easier to control once you're fueling your body correctly.

    Good luck!
    plentyofus
  • Unfortunately, he's gotta want to do it too and take initiative. Myfitnesspal worked for me as a food log, it didn't work for DH. He was bored of it. However, he decided to sign up for a "running club" to train for a half marathon and he has been happier that it was his decision and not by my pushing. I personally hate running, but have signed up to do a couple 5ks with him as support.

    Ultimately, healthy snacks. Or keep the junk out of the house. Or maybe even though it's more expensive buy the snack packs so when they are out he will not open another one? All I know is if you left me in front of a package of double stuffed oreos long enough, I would seriously eat them all.

    Juicing has also worked well for us. It took the perspective off of weight and more about health. We eat really clean as well exception at like 3am on Sunday morning when we were are coming home from the club, then jack in the box is totally cool.

    All in all - help him by being supportive. You guys can go on walks together. Maybe plan to do some hiking etc.

  • effiek91effiek91 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2014
    Working out together is great, you both feel more motivated, you feel sexier around each other, and there's nothing like staring at a guy working out and being able to think "yeah he's mine!" That being said the great enemy is time. FI and I used to work out every morning together before going to school, now that we have both graduated college he works every day (literally) and never ever feels like physical activity. His job can be physical when it's busy, but when it's not the guys pretty much just eat horribly and sit. I am trying to make better meals so he can take them with him, but I have a hard time finding the time to do it for myself (I work full time) let alone him as well (he's much pickier than I am). In the end it's  completely true, if the person doesn't want to do it, they're not going to no matter how much people help them. This is true for me too, I could lose a few pounds, and I know he supports me entirely, it's just making my lazy ass want to get going that's the problem. It boils down to its much easier if you can find something to do together.
    JCbride2015
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