Who do I invite?!?!

MrsMaggardToBe

I'm sure this is somewhere on this board but I can't find it.

We're getting married September 26, 2014 in Cancun! While I'm extremely ecstatic over this decision, I'm really confused on who to invite. With it being a destination wedding, I completely understand that some might not be able to make it due to the time of year and financial situations. I know I need (should) invite immediate family, but his side is huge! His dad was 1 of 6 and they all have children. Theres some closer to us than others but I feel that if we invite one, we have to invite the other. Same goes for our friends. We know there are a few who want to come, so should I just invite everyone so no one can say "we weren't invited?"

Such a dilemma! And I need to start on Save the Dates so people can start booking their vacation! 

Ausome13

I was really on the fence about how to handle invites. I have no idea what etiquette says but I have decided to invite EVERYONE!! I know that most of the people are not going to come but I really didn't want to hurt anyones feelings. 

msuprincess04

You invite as many people as you comfortable with and that your budget can handle. That will help decide what your limit is. It's easier to just invite everyone then everyone can choose on their own if they can make it. That's what we did, but we had a large number of people accept, and made sure we can accommodate all of them. 

If you can't invite everyone, then it often helps to invite people in circles. Who are your "must haves", then, what do you have left? Then maybe you can add things like "aunts and uncles", then maybe "cousins," then maybe "co-workers," ect. Of course, these levels depend on your preferences. Just remember to invite couples who are in a relationship, and try to not separate siblings (young ones). That way you don't have to really pick and choose. 

sweethrt06

I'm having a hard time trying to decide who to invite too. We'd like to have 25-30 guests. How many invitations would you send out? We know everyone's not going to be able to make it but we don't want too many people to say yes either!

MrsMaggardToBe

@sweethrt06...this is what we figured out: we're sending STD's to everyone we would invite if we were having a "traditional" wedding at home. We are including our travel agents name and accommodation information. We are putting a cute little saying about we hope you can come but understand if you can't, but if you'd like we've included travel info. 

After people confirm their reservation or that they are coming, we'll send actual invitations to them. I just don't want anyone to feel left out. 

Most resorts only allow 30 for the ceremony any additional is extra. We know we won't have more than 30 so we felt this was the best route for us. 

MOHDIANA

That is a great Idea MrsMaggardtobe! I think we might do the same thing!

princessleia22

I had same issue too. I invited in groups.  We determined who were our "must have" people (parents, siblings). Then we invited all of his extended family, because it's small (2 uncles/aunts & 2 cousins).  Then we invited my aunts/uncles.  I have a few cousins I would have liked to invite, but I couldn't do that without hurting the rest... and I certainly wasn't inviting all 20 of my cousins, plus their spouses and kids. So, we made aunts/uncles the cut off and didn't invite any cousins.  Then we only invited our absolute closest friends.  There were others we would have liked to invite, but we decided that they weren't critical to making our day happy.

We wanted about 40-50 people.  We knew that most of my aunts/uncles couldn't go due to cost (and we had talked to several in advance to confirm this). We invited total of about 80 people... and we have about 30-40 actually attending. But, whoever you invite, make sure you can accommodate if they all come.  I have seen where people get close to 100% attendance at DW, because people like the excuse for a vacation.  We certainly have some people coming that we didn't expect to come. And we had some who initially said they would definitely be there that have changed their minds and can't go now.

With my STD, 10 months prior to wedding, we included a "Preliminary RSVP" so we could get a rough estimate of who may be attending. We put check box options of "Will come for whole week", "We can only come for wedding", "Sorry, we can't make it" or "We aren't sure yet if we can come".  We only got just over 1/2 of them back, but it certainly helped narrow it down for us. I will still send invites to everyone, even if they said no, because things can change. And we will include a "Final RSVP" with the invites.  But, if you do 2 RSVP's like I am doing, be sure to make it easy for them. I had their names on them, addressed, stamped postcard, so they just had to check a box and drop it in the mail.