How to deal when your "dream dress" can't be?

Lonelilly

So there I was, perusing Pinterest, and that's when I saw it: the dress I wanted to wear at my wedding. Everything I was looking for, combined into one perfect dress - lacey sleeves, beautiful back, v neck, empire waist... Imagine my excitement when the price tag was in budget. After further research, I found the designer and name of the dress (Catherine Deane's Lia gown).

 

To my terrible dismay, however, it was sold out. Tried a different retailer. Sold out. I spent hours trying to find this dress (managed to find one on a secondhand website in a bride's 5'1" size 0 - I have a feeling it'd take a miracle to make it fit my size 8, 5'6" frame) to no avail. Sold out sold out unavailable. And I don't think it's coming back. I am so disheartened - I know it's just a dress... I feel so selfish for being so upset... But when I tried finding similar dresses, nothing seemed to compare. Nothing was quite like this one.

I guess I just wanted to rant/seek advice for how to deal with this kind of disappointment? I feel so turned off to internet dress hunting now - I hate feeling teased. I mean, I know weddings are about tailoring your expectations to what is accessible to you... But I can't help but feel afraid this dress will never leave my mind!

Dignity100

I would say make a few appointments and take pictures with you.  You never know what the stores may have that might be similar.

JennyColada

Try contacting the designer directly. They may be able to give you some insight.

AddieCake

I know you're bummed, but you really can't let yourself get this down about it. You hadn't even tried the dress on to know it truly WAS "the one." The dress I ended up getting looks nothing like what I thought was my dream dress b/c my "dream dress" looked awful on me. I agree to contact the designer if you want to make a last ditch effort to find it and then just take pics of it with you to stores. 

misshart00

Can you find it on a used site?

[Deleted User]

I agree w/pp & take photo to a few bridal shops to see if they have anything similar, even if it's not the same thing, try it on just so you can see how the style looks on you.

rakkaya87

This lists a whole bunch of retailers that carry it....  I say get on the phone, start dialing, and get your dream dress

http://www.catherinedeane.com/product/lia-5/#size 

rakkaya87

PS it is an absolutely gorgeous dress

hyechica81

love the dress but i had tons of pictures i printed out and guess what none of what i thought i wanted looked good on me i went in a totally different direction

princessleia22

I also ended up with something different than I wanted.  So, you never know until you try it.

After trying about 60 dresses I narrowed down what elements I wanted and found one online that fit everything.  But, it was a previous year style and not in stock anywhere. I spent a couple months searching everywhere and used sites.  I found one available in store out of state, but wasn't able to travel 2000 miles to try it on. So, one of the retailers contacted the designer and they had a sample that they were able to loan to the store (it cost me $150, but that went toward purchase) and they were still able to make it.  After waiting a few weeks for it to come in, I was able to try it on and absolutely loved it.  So, definitely check with designer and see if they can loan a sample or even still make it. 

If that doesn't work, I have seen a lot of people say that they were able to get custom dresses made for around same price as new gowns. They ended up with beautiful dress that was exactly what they wanted. So, you may want to take photos to some custom dress makers and see what it would cost to have one made.

JoanE2012

I know you're bummed, but the way I would look at it is....it wasn't meant to be.  And for all you know, you could've tried it on and hated it.  

Your dress is out there waiting for you.  Bring a picture to the salons and maybe they can pull similar dresses.  And who knows, you may pick something completely different like many of the ladies here!

themuffinman16

I thought I would only look good in A line dresses or ballgowns. I love straps or sleeves. I hate mermaids. I know mermaids wouldn't look good on my figure, but a-lines looked terrible too.  The best look was a sleeveless fit and flare dress. I was taken aback by how it complemented my figure.  Tell your bridal consultant what you absolutely hate (mine was tulle and and all over lace, on my figure), but let them pull a couple of dresses too.  They have been in this business for quite some time, and they might pull something that is unexpected, but would look fabulous on you.  Don't be afraid to break out of your comfort zone.  If you don't like what they picked, there are always other dresses to try on.

msullivan76

I couldn't get my dream dress either due to budget constraints and I was crushed.  My fiance kept saying to get it and we'll make it work but I didn't feel right by letting my guests eat crackers while I walked around in my dress...lol!  Since I knew what style I wanted I started looking around and kept an open mind.  I ended up finding my second dream dress...for almost 1/3 of the price!

Kieralynn

I looked @ tuns of pics to get ideas and most came from google. I tried to show pics @ salons that I thought might have the dress I wanted or be able to get it since they carried others by the same designer but it was to no avail & i had a tight budget. As my FI says "champagne taste & beer money" lol Since i couldn't find my dream dress I forced myself to open my mind & try EVERYTHING! Some of my expectations were true, I didn't like ball gowns or mermaid/trumpets but still I ended up with something totally different than I expected. Granted I'm customizing mine a bit but still I thought I was NEVER going to find something I loved that was affordable.

 Maybe look for a simple empire strapless in the same material then get a lace ... not sure what its called, shrug? ya know just to cover your arms and shoulders & it will look almost identical. It is a beautiful dress!

Rosebubbly

Bhldn sells Catherine deane dresses. Have you looked there for something similar?

CMGragain

Most brides find that when they try their "dream dress" on in person, it isn't as dreamy as they thought.  My daughter was so certain she wanted a Maggie Sottero gown.  Eh.  It wasn't that special.  She chose a Demetrios gown that was very different.  She wouldn't have even tried it on if I hadn't asked her.  She just stood there staring at herself in the mirror.
You need this experience.  Stop looking at photo-shopped pictures on the internet, and go try on real dresses in your price range.  You might find yourself standing, thunderstruck, in front of a mirror, just like my daughter!