Why do married women frequent the forums?

MollyandD

I recently started looking at the forums here. I am a little confused about why a woman who is already married, unless she's helping a friend do wedding planning or is a moderator, would want to spend time here. Is there a perk I don't see, or is it just for fun?

I know there are sister sites for women who are married or are starting families. That's why I ask what makes some prefer to hang out reading questions about weddings.

KytchynWitche

For some it's to help a friend or family member who's getting married. For others it's because they made friends here before their wedding and want to stay in touch with those friends. And for others it's because they feel they have valuable advice to offer from their own marriage experience.

There's more to TK than just wedding discussion, in any case.

MobKaz

When someone has a question, they typically look to someone with experience.  You cannot really ask about the proper way to word invitations, or ask questions about developing a wedding budget, to women who are newly engaged or not yet engaged.  They lack the experience to answer the questions.  I am not going to ask women who have never had children about my pregnancy.  Do you see the absurdity?

There are also women on these boards who simply love weddings and everything about them.

These boards are also not exclusively for engaged women.  There are forums for parents of the bride and groom, as well as wedding party members.  There are a multitude of cultural and theme boards.  There are forums for second marriages.  Limiting posters to those who have never married does not make sense.  

ETA....on a personal note, this also smacks of yet another not so subtle passive aggressive dig at old, married hags.  

AddieCake

I'm here because I love weddings and because I like to give people planning weddings the benefit of my experience. Like mobkaz, I would never ask pregnancy advice from someone who had never been pregnant, ya know?

MollyandD

It makes sense as to why it's very helpful to future brides to have the experience from married women. I was just curious about why married women wanted to stay. I also understand a woman loving weddings. Haha, I loved looking at wedding stuff long before I got engaged.

Thanks for the answers.

MollyandD

I'm not trying to insult anyone who is married. I have nothing but respect for couples that keep a marriage together. If you think I'm being insulting, well I don't really know what to say other than that wasn't my intent. If you don't believe me, sorry.

MollyandD

AddieL73 said:

I'm here because I love weddings and because I like to give people planning weddings the benefit of my experience. Like mobkaz, I would never ask pregnancy advice from someone who had never been pregnant, ya know?

This answered my question very well.

MollyandD

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scribe95 said:

Yeah, I come because I loved planning my wedding. If I had the money I would quit my job and be a wedding planner. But that's not happening anytime soon!

I got a lot of great advice on here when I got married so I wanted to pay back the favor, so to speak.

Wouldn't it be fun to be around weddings forever? Being a planner would be so fun

Jells2dot0

I really love to talk about travel, so I frequent the HM boards. I also like to provide my persceptive on wedding planning as I've gone the route of having the huge, traditional, luxury wedding and the small, intimate, destination elopement.

Also, I really cannot stand The Nest. Everything is either geared toward having kids or setting up a life with your new spouse. I am not having kids, so I prefer to not be surrounded with constant baby talk. I get enough of that on Facebook. We are also an "older" couple, so I really don't need advice on buying a home or managing money. So, I come here to get my forum fix

csuave

Ditto what all of the other ladies have posted.

Another thing is conversations here all not all wedding all the time.  I have picked up some tips on party hosting in general, good shopping deals, vacuum recommendations, etc.

KPBM89

My wedding isn't until August, but I love that married women are on these boards!  They give such great advice and have helped me tremendously already-not just from my own posts, but a lot of reading what they've said to others!  And also, some of the boards (like chit chat) are fun to visit for NWR things!

MyNameIsNot

Jells2dot0 said:

I really love to talk about travel, so I frequent the HM boards. I also like to provide my persceptive on wedding planning as I've gone the route of having the huge, traditional, luxury wedding and the small, intimate, destination elopement.

Also, I really cannot stand The Nest. Everything is either geared toward having kids or setting up a life with your new spouse. I am not having kids, so I prefer to not be surrounded with constant baby talk. I get enough of that on Facebook. We are also an "older" couple, so I really don't need advice on buying a home or managing money. So, I come here to get my forum fix

This, x1000.  If you aren't going the traditional route of getting married, moving in together, buying a house, having babies, etc, the nest can be tedious.  

Weddings are still fun.  Other people's money problems are not.  

AddieCake

I have tried to explore The Nest and The Bump since I am TTC, but there is just something about them that I can't get on board with. 

WinstonsGirl

Cos the Nest sucks and is dead and I hope to never have to frequent the Bump

ShallowSeas

I am soooooo glad that married women stick around on these boards.  They have seriously been so helpful.  I stay on the NEY board even tho I'm engaged now because when I first joined TK I was NEY and liked the ladies on that board, so I continue to stay with it.

pinkcow13

I personally like that there are married women on here. As others have said, they have been there, done that, and provide useful advice. Although other engaged gals provide awesome advice, sometimes it is good to hear the perspective of someone who has already been through it all. As a side note, I also went on the nest out of curiosity [and I felt there would be things that would apply to me even though I am not yet married], and yea there is something about it that is so blah. I will probably stick around once we get married. 

kmmssg

I'll even take it from a different perspective.  I have 4 grown DDs.  I had always been a mom to young girls, but then they all had the audacity to become adults.  I have learned so much about boundaries by reading threads from young brides and problem parents.  It really made me rethink my relationship with my girls, and it made me think about some boundaries I had never even considered.  I get some reasonably good grades from my sons-in-law as well as my DDs for keeping my nose out of their business and respecting their privacy.  That is not to say I haven't opened my mouth once or twice when maybe I shouldn't have, but they tell me I am doing pretty good.  I learned that here from all you younger ladies.

It is nice to be able to share knowledge after helping the 3 married girls with their weddings, and now the 4th gets married in June.  I have talked to a surprising number of vendors, venues, etc.  I get a lot from hanging around here, and I can contribute also.  Two way street that I am very happy exists.

photokitty

I'm here for the badges, "Love Its" and gifs…I did NOT say gifts and certainly not the cash bars or potlucks ;-p

manateehugger

Oh man, I don't even know what this place would look like if the married women left.

"Hey, do you think this timeline will work?"
""I hope so! Ours is the same!"

"Hey, when should I get my dress?"
"Idk, I'm going this weekend!"

The blind leading the blind.

MollyandD

hoppersgirl25 said:

My wedding isn't until August, but I love that married women are on these boards!  They give such great advice and have helped me tremendously already-not just from my own posts, but a lot of reading what they've said to others!  And also, some of the boards (like chit chat) are fun to visit for NWR things!

I also am grateful to have people to ask in preparation for my June wedding. I only wondered at first what made them stick around. Now I know.

afox007

I personally am glad I get to talk to the old married hags Better than getting advice from all the speshul snowflakes!

MollyandD

So did most of the married women start using the site prior to the wedding? Are there many that didn't find it until after?

photokitty

Molly&Domenic said:

So did most of the married women start using the site prior to the wedding? Are there many that didn't find it until after?

I think most people started when planning their wedding or helping plan a wedding. Some of the ladies found TK when their daughters, sons, sisters etc were planning their wedding. Others joined when they were MOH or BM in a wedding. Some join bc they are dying to get married one day. The super annoying ones are the vendors that pretend to be planning a wedding or are just out right advertising - they are only out done by the trolls, the worst ones, who join to stir the pot for no good reason.

AddieCake

I lurked while planning and then officially joined and started participating after.

Jells2dot0

Molly&Domenic said:

So did most of the married women start using the site prior to the wedding? Are there many that didn't find it until after?

I joined back in 2002 when I got engaged to my first husband. I stuck around until I divorced in 2006. I then got engaged to my current DH in 2010 and immediately joined back up!

RebeccaB88

I joined when I was engaged, but the relationship didn't work out and I didn't get married. But I like it so much around here that I don't want to leave. I did get a lot of planning experience while I was engaged, so hopefully it will help someone.

Maggie0829

I joined when I was a BM in a friends wedding.  I then started to lurk when I began planning my own wedding.  I think I started posting a few months before my actual wedding day.  And have stuck around since.

JCbride2015

Agree with @PDKH: thank God for the married ladies! I need advice from people who have actually had a wedding, not other people who are just as clueless as I am.

PolarBearFitz

I don't understand why this is a question? People give advice from experience so it makes sense that those who have had a wedding would be here.

Maggie0829

aefitz29 said:

I don't understand why this is a question? People give advice from experience so it makes sense that those who have had a wedding would be here.

Because we are a bunch of married old hags and this forum is for brides!  We should be off spending time with our husbands, getting a life, and posting on TN.

MollyandD

aefitz29 said:

I don't understand why this is a question? People give advice from experience so it makes sense that those who have had a wedding would be here.

I was curious about why people liked to stick around. I'm brand new so I'm just learning. It's not an insult to those who are here. I'm obviously asking them the questions, I just wondered what they got out of it.

If you don't like my question, it's ok to not answer. I was just asking out if curiosity and I'm happy to have married women here to answer.