A seat for every butt?

Jen4948

While the seats don't all have to be chairs (although that would be nice), I think everyone does deserve a place to sit down.

I've been to weddings and bar and bat mitzvahs that had cocktail hours without seats for everyone, so I was usually standing most of the time.  My feet hurt, plus I had to juggle a drink, a napkin, and hors d'oeuvres.  I've spent more comfortable hours on crowded school buses as a kid and jammed into NYC subways.

kiwikiss56

I also think it depends on what type of food is available at cocktail hour.  I don't have a real issue with tables / chairs if most of the food is passed where you have your drink in one hand and the food in the other.  It is much more difficult when there is good that requires a plate and a fork so you need to put your drink down when there aren't enough tables.

All cocktail hours I've been to had limited seating and I've never been bothered by it.  My cocktail hour will be on grass so we're having a couple low tops with seating and a bunch of high tops but overall not a ton of seating.  We're also doing a flip flop basket (pinteresty I know...but functional in this case).  

huskypuppy14

I'd say the majority of the weddings I've been to did not have cocktail hour in the same room as the reception. One of those was technically the same room, but they put a divider up, so you couldn't get to your seat until they opened it up. That wedding and the wedding I went to in September are the 2 that stand out as the ones with not nearly enough seating for cocktail hour.  Though the wedding in September did have high tables, so it was fine.  I agree, that you at least need a bunch of tables so people can put their things down while they eat.

Cookie Pusher

I went to a wedding held in a barn, so the flooring was not totally flat. They had a part of the barn sectioned off for the cocktail hour as well as the outdoor patio. The patio had some high top tables but there were no tables inside. And no seating anywhere. And, of course, people were smoking cigars outside. It might have been the longest hour of my entire life. While I don't expect a seat for every butt during the cocktail hour, some seating really is needed. And don't let people smoke in the one area you have tables, that's just gross. No one wants that in their food.

RissAnn1970

I've been to more weddings than I can count & at 100% of them, including mine, the cocktail hour has been in it's own room, even when the ceremony was not in the same space as the reception. At 100% of them there were some tables & seats, but never enough for every person.

RissAnn1970

To add: the only time it was ever an issue was at one recent wedding where there wasn't enough space in the room for the sheer number of bodies, tables & chairs aside. It was really claustrophobic in there.

syoun1nj

I wouldn't worry about cocktail hour. Unless it's like 2-3 hrs. If I can't stand comfortably in heels for 1 hour, I won't be wearing heels. I don't feel bad for people who wear heels and can't stand in them for awhile, either...I know some can but I know my limits and others should as well! My heels were off before pictures were over at my own wedding! We had seats for ceremony and reception, no tables removed during dancing, and it was fine. I have always made it work at every wedding where we didnt have seats. I prefer surfaces for plates/drink than seats at a cocktail hour, honestly. I also have no clue if there were any chairs - I didn't make it to cocktail hour. I know there were high top tables though.

My biggest cocktail hour complaint is not having trashcans. I hate having the little plate or napkin or toothpick...and having to wait for a person to hand it to to throw it away. Just put out a trashcan!

mysticl

syoun1nj said:

I wouldn't worry about cocktail hour. Unless it's like 2-3 hrs. If I can't stand comfortably in heels for 1 hour, I won't be wearing heels. I don't feel bad for people who wear heels and can't stand in them for awhile, either...I know some can but I know my limits and others should as well! My heels were off before pictures were over at my own wedding! We had seats for ceremony and reception, no tables removed during dancing, and it was fine. I have always made it work at every wedding where we didnt have seats. I prefer surfaces for plates/drink than seats at a cocktail hour, honestly. I also have no clue if there were any chairs - I didn't make it to cocktail hour. I know there were high top tables though.

My biggest cocktail hour complaint is not having trashcans. I hate having the little plate or napkin or toothpick...and having to wait for a person to hand it to to throw it away. Just put out a trashcan!

I know my limit in heels and would never expect to meet that limit at a wedding.  I would expect not to have to stand more than a few minutes for various parts of the ceremony.  After that I would expect to be able to sit if I want to sit.  Since the majority of the weddings I've been too have had seating for everyone at cocktail hour I expect to be able to sit at cocktail hour.  When dressing for a wedding I would never think "gee, I need to expect to stand for an hour".  

LowerEastSiiide

Cocktail hour is meant for mingling - high top tables without chairs is perfectly fine, as long as there are some seats for older folks 

Seating will prevent people from mingling which is the point of cocktail hour 

crunchymamaof2

I guess I don't understand why the cocktail hour is any different than the ceremony and reception. The ideas of few chairs at the ceremony or reception does not go over well on here and I can't understand why a cocktail hour would make that faux pas suddenly okay. We say cocktail receptions need chairs for every butt, if not more than that. Yes, technically cocktail hours are meant for mingling, but let's be serious, not everyone wants to walk around and chat with several different people. If only a few seats are provided the first to arrive will snag a seat and remain glued to it, as several previous posters have described.

IMO everyone should have the option to sit, at all parts of the wedding. I think it's hypocritical to bend an etiquette rule just because that part is only an hour long. So I'd advise to have some sort of seating for everyone....whether it be couches, benches, chairs, window seats, or a combo.

crunchymamaof2

And really, isn't the cocktail hour really meant to hold people over until the reception starts? The reason they usually happen is so the bridal party can take photos without skipping out on their reception. If guests want to mingle they'll do so after dinner IMO.

phira

Mostly unrelated--making remarks about how there shouldn't be sympathy for women who decide to wear heels if they don't know their limits is kind of off-putting. I wouldn't even OWN heels if it weren't for pressure for women to wear them, or how we're often repeatedly told that certain outfits "require" heels to look right. Basically, let's focus on why providing some seating is a good idea (since not everyone, heels or not, is able-bodied enough to stand for 45 minutes), and not on why some women wear heels that are not comfortable.

APDSS22

I don't wear heels, but I did for a friend's wedding because I wanted to look nice and all the other women I knew going would be in heels.  Her cocktail hour was outside, in the middle of summer in Texas for goodness sake with absolutely NO seats.  She had scattered high top tables (not really enough for the number in the space at that time) and I remember switching from one foot to the other and leaning really hard on the table wishing the torture would be over.  I never would've expected to be standing for a whole hour or I would've said screw it and worn flats.  So even if you can't physically fit in a chair for every bottom (which would be my preference) at least make sure you have more seats than just a few that the elderly will take over and can't reasonably be turfed out of.