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Wedding Party

Jobs for kids other than Flower Girls and Ring Bearers?

24

Re: Jobs for kids other than Flower Girls and Ring Bearers?

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited February 2014

    PATYH said:
    I am an older bride and am having my grandchildren in our wedding.You could have two ring bearers
    two flower girls and two holding a banner as I am making for them which says "Here comes the bride".
    You could have the others guiding and directing,or have two separate sets one for the precession and one set for the recession
    I wouldn't do this.  The processional music is supposed to announce that the bride is coming.  I have never seen photos of kids carrying "Here comes the bride" banners where they are smiling-they are actually scowling at the camera.  Nor should kids be guiding and directing; nor is having separate sets of attendants for the procession and recession a good idea.  Anyone going up the aisle should come back down it and vice versa.

    Just let the kids be.  If they want to be in the wedding then just have them as flower girls and ring bearers.  You do not need to come up with cutesy roles for them to play; nor does there need to be a role for every single kid at your wedding.  A valuable life lesson for kids to learn is that sometimes they are not the stars of the show and are not entitled to all the attention.
    junieb58PrettyGirlLostlc07
  • I'm in the same situation with a lot of nieces and nephews. We are going to have each child carry a flower down the aisle and make a bouquet at the front. I'm hoping the older kids can help the younger ones. Also it's great way for the kids to have a part but I'm not requiring parents to dress them in an expensive dress/suit that won't be worn again!
    Sierra96Weygandt5
  •  Can you make the older nieces Jr. Bridesmaids?  I love the flower girl ideas.  I don't think the kiddos will care if some are in the wedding and some aren't.  What if you have some pass out programs and bubbles (or whatever you're using)?  Also, you could have someone stand at the guestbook. I also think having the older 2 as bridal attendants is great.  That way they are still being incorporated, but don't necessarily need to be standing up in the wedding. 
  • Why don't you have junior bridesmaids?  My oldest niece is going to be one and my flower girl is 3.
  • We have quite a few cousins and friends' children who would be appropriate flower girl/ring bearer age, so we're also going to have "parade of adorable children." My only holdup right now is while all of the girls can throw flower petals or whatever, only two of the boys obviously can carry the rings. Although I really like a previous commenter's idea of having everyone carry a flower and making that into a bouquet!

    Also, to those who doubt that your average 8/9/10-year-olds can handle handing out bubble wands or programs... unless you have some seriously misbehaving children, they absolutely can handle that.

    You know your family best - pay no attention to people in this thread and outside who tell you that the kids won't "give two shits" about being in your wedding. Do keep in mind other people's preferences and needs, though, but an easy way to figure this out is to bring it up with their parents! It's really nice to include your family if that's important to you; you'll find a way that works :)
    soontobemrsh21Weygandt5
  • Sho! So many negative comments!

    I say she's the bride, she can do whatever she wants to! Why even leave a comment if it's just to criticize, rather than answering the question? She didn't ask if it's a good idea, she asked if anybody could help think of more jobs for the kids...

    I love the parade idea from 'hannerbomo22'! And to 'sarahbeiter': in Afrikaans we say:"So 'n bek moet jam kry!" It basically means: You go girl!! I agree!

    LisaTombigpartyejchippWeygandt5shelnjosh2014
  • We're having only child attendants at our wedding, and I'm really excited about it. Not exactly sure how it will all work, but I'm thinking: Two 12 year old boys as greeters/ushers, 2 ring bearers, 3 flower girls, and two more nephews holding a sign that says "Here comes the bride." That's 9 in total, and it works for us. Do what you want!

  • I am amazed at the anger and rigidity too!  Please feel free to do what makes you and the people special to you happy, child or adult.  Be prepared that it might run a little less than smoothly, but if you are having twelve kids in your wedding, you must be open to that.  This isn't the 1940's.  Lighten up.  The bride who is able to laugh and enjoy herself will be much more beautiful than the one who is going all bridezilla about the rules and perfection anyway.
    LisaTombigpartyejchippWeygandt5
  • I'm surprised by how many negative comments you received on here. I understand the bit people say about this being a wedding - the joining of two adults, etc etc. But I think we generally underestimate children's ability to understand. 
    Maybe we're a lucky couple to know such quality people who have raised quality children - but the children involved in our wedding were excited and understood what it meant to be a part of the ceremony. I myself, as a 25 year old, had NO idea what marriage was truly about until I was actually in it. My husband, at 30, felt the same. You don't fully appreciate what something means until you have or lose it - regardless of the age; but that doesn't mean we don't have the capacity to understand or be excited about something.

    My very mature 11 year old cousin and 12 year old brother carried elements that were needed for the ceremony (a marriage box, chocolate for our unity bit) while the younger ones did the flower petal part. My cousin and brother were "honored" to be a part of such an important role to us and thankful they weren't lumped with the "rest of the kids" throwing petals. 

    I guess what I'm trying to say is
    1) know the kids. Ask them what they prefer to do. (I asked my cousin if she wanted to throw petals with her sister or stand up there next to me. She wanted to stand with me, but I decided she was too young to be part of my bridesmaids so I gave her an alternative role that was both easy and still important to us. Maybe some of your kids don't actually feel a need to be a part of the procession or will be indifferent).
    2)Think about YOUR needs at the wedding, reception included, (designated bouquet holder (Does the MOH really have to do that one part?) carrying elements of the ceremony, handing out programs, helping grandma to their seat, getting everyone's attention for cake cutting, etc). 
    3) And put two and two together. 


    ejchipp
  • We have 12 kids in our wedding. My oldest daughter and son are going to be ringbearers(my daughter asked if she could) and my youngest daughter and oldest niece are the flower girls. The other 8 are going to walk down the aisle ahead of everyone while blowing bubbles to start the procession. It is a cute way to involve everyone, at least in my opinion.
  • Before it is asked, we did ask both the children and the parents if they wanted to be a part of the wedding.
  • Who cares if they remember? The only people that need to remember are the bride and groom. I have a lot of family as well and want them included. Nine nieces and nephews (eleven by the time I get married), five sisters (with only two in the wedding), and three brothers. I think the older nephews could help the ring bearer down the aisle, and maybe I could have a few more flower girls. But other than that, I think I'll give them all boutonnieres to have them included. Seems like a good compromise to me.
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2014
    image
    ~*~*~*~*~

    lc07rajahmd
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2014
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    aplatt3 said:
    Unlike many of the posts here, I think you can find a way to include all the kids and give them each a special job to do.  We have 10 children involved in our wedding.  The two youngest girls (2 and 4) are flower girls, the 3 youngest boys are ring bearers (1, 3, 6), the older girls are bridal attendants (8, 9, 10), and the older boys are ushers (both 13).  The bridal attendants will have jobs like passing out bubbles after the ceremony for the exit, making sure people sign the guest book, helping find place cards, etc.  Our ushers are old enough to do the job on their own, but you can certainly have younger boys serve as ushers or assistant ushers as well.  

    Not everyone has to purchase a new and matching outfit.  We are having our bridal attendants just wear a light grey dress of their choosing and I am having matching flower headbands for them.  With the boys, we are just asking them to wear the same tie.  It does not need to be overly expensive to include more people in your wedding.

    There are so many little details involved in a wedding that you can certainly find little jobs for kids to do.  Even if they are not necessary jobs or things that would be fine on their own, I think it is important to involve as many people as you can, especially with regards to children.  It keeps them occupied and focused knowing they have a special job.  
    Seriously?  You expect an 8, 9 and 10 year old to be that focused for that amount of time to help people find their place cards and sign the guest book?  I give them 10 minutes before they are off and running around and playing.


    **Deleted prior post because formatting made it impossible to understand.....

    I am perfectly capable of signing a guestbook.   I don't need an 8 year old pestering to "not pass go" until/unless I sign a guest book. I also learned how to alphabetize when I was around 8. I am perfectly capable of finding my name in a line of cards. Are these children responsible enough to not make a mess of escort cards? I have visions of tumbling dominoes in my head. If I were a parent of one of these children, I would have a hard time enjoying myself at the cocktail hour. I would feel compelled to constantly check up/monitor them to make sure they were behaving and fulfilling their appointed duty. That is not how I would want to spend my time.
    Maggie0829PrettyGirlLostlc07rajahmd
  • I have 8 nephews and 2 nieces. My fiance has 10 brothers and sisters that are younger then him and every single one of them are all part of our wedding. It is possible! My 2 nieces are my bridesmaids along with 2 of his sisters. His oldest brother is one of his groomsmen.. my 3 oldest nephews are going to be ushers. My 4 & 5 year old nephews are pulling the Isle runner, one of the little ones is carrying a sign saying, just wait till you see her. And my other 2 little nephews are ring bearers, I have 2 little girls being my flower girls that aren't part of my family since I had no younger girls. Then 2 of my fiance's sisters are sitting at the guest book, 2 more are handing out the programs, 2 of the boys are handing out bubbles for when we leave and the last one is carrying gifts. So I might be crazy for having so many kids involved but I am very close to my family and there is no way I'm getting married without them involved and there. So good luck and I hope you can find something for all the special little people in your life :)
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    VegRunner said:
    We have quite a few cousins and friends' children who would be appropriate flower girl/ring bearer age, so we're also going to have "parade of adorable children." My only holdup right now is while all of the girls can throw flower petals or whatever, only two of the boys obviously can carry the rings. Although I really like a previous commenter's idea of having everyone carry a flower and making that into a bouquet!

    Also, to those who doubt that your average 8/9/10-year-olds can handle handing out bubble wands or programs... unless you have some seriously misbehaving children, they absolutely can handle that.

    You know your family best - pay no attention to people in this thread and outside who tell you that the kids won't "give two shits" about being in your wedding. Do keep in mind other people's preferences and needs, though, but an easy way to figure this out is to bring it up with their parents! It's really nice to include your family if that's important to you; you'll find a way that works :)

    image
    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostrajahmd
  • Random, somewhat related but somewhat unrelated question…how old is too old for a ring bearer? My fiancé's nephew will be 12 by the time our wedding comes. Too old? Should we just have him as a junior usher?
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    He can be a groomsman, usher or reader - but don't call him a "junior" anything.  The only things an adult groomsman, usher or reader could do that he couldn't do would be to act as a legal witness, drink, or go into adult establishments.
    chibiyuiPrettyGirlLostlc07
  • You nailed it with "little kids are the only ones who are really excited about being in a wedding". My 4 and 6 year old nieces won't talk about anything else to me other than my wedding and what they get to do at the wedding and what they are going to wear. And we haven't even set a date yet. They live in New Zealand and look for white dresses every to me they are shopping. I had to explain that they are getting special dresses when they come here from a special wedding shop. That made their day.

    Clearly little kids are focused and excited enough to understand weddings and the importance of them.

    If you think of more jobs let me know, my FI has a 3 year old nice and a 6 year old nephew we are using for the ring bear but I can't just leave out the 1 niece. Might just have 3 flower girls and 1 ring guy.
  • I have fourteen nieces and nephews and I, too, am excited to have them ALL as part of my wedding. The bridal party will have 2 nieces (18 & 16) and 1 nephew (17) standing up with us.  Then we will have one niece and one nephew as junior BM & GM (both age 10).  We are going to have 1 niece read (13) and 2 nephews and 2 nieces handing out programs (between ages 8 and 6).  Two babies will just smile and be cute!  Finally, we are having the remaining children walk the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom down the aisle beforehand.  

    I CAN'T imagine my wedding without a special job for ALL of my nieces and nephews.  It is our day and my fiance and I want them to feel appreciated, wanted, and loved.  I know that in turn it will make me feel special to know that they enjoyed the day.  

    Ginna, do what you want and ignore anyone who thinks you are "making up" jobs for your family.  They are important to you and should be part of one of the most important days of your life.  Good luck!
    shelnjosh2014
  • Hi GinnaN! Congratulations! We will also have a coin bearer role for my nephew (non-religious; "arras" presentation); Also, how about roles outside of ceremony - ex; passing out programs, passing out favors, passing out sparklers, etc.? Good luck!
  • My fiance and I are having several kids involved in one-way or another at our wedding. He has four nieces & nephews, and I have nine very close cousin- their mom's and I nearly grew up as sisters, so I feel as if they are my nieces and nephews. I also have a God-Daughter that I wanted involved. While some jobs are bigger than others, they all have a place.

    13 & 10 yr old girl - Programs
    12 yr old boy - Acolyte
    8 & 7 yr old boys - Aisle Runners (working coming up with a better name - they will pull the aisle instead of the ushers, before I walk down)
    5, 5 & 4 year old girls - Favors (they will hand out whatever favors, bells, bubbles, bird seed, etc. we decide to use after the ceremony)
    3 & 2 yr old girls - Flower Girls
    2 yr old boy - Ring Bearer
    8 & 6 mo. old girls, 6 mo. old boy - too young to be anything but adorable :)
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