Mothers are apparently insignificant

Angusaur

Sorry if this was posted anywhere on here already, but I'm just stumbling across it. It pisses me the hell off.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/amy-glass/2014/01/i-look-down-on-young-women-with-husbands-and-kids-and-im-not-sorry/

This article literally makes my skin crawl. As if stay at home moms/wives aren't already undermined enough, this peach writes this when she has no idea what the experience is really like. Being a mother is a hell of a lot more than doing the laundry. It's about sacrifice, sleepless nights, putting another life before your own, bending over backwards for their well-being and happiness. Being a mother whether it's stay at home, part time worker, or full time, is difficult PERIOD. (and rewarding!) I can agree with her that women with impressive accomplishments like promotions or graduating medical school deserve celebration too. But how dare she say that mothers will never be anything significant with husbands and children. I would love to see how many of these oh so important women who became doctors, engineers, etc would have turned out without a proper upbringing. I know people are responsible for their own destiny and I'm sure many accomplished people (men and women) made something excellent of themselves regardless of a difficult childhood. I personally know all that I am and have accomplished have a lot to do with my parents and the values they instilled in me. 

I'm a mother, and work for a hospital, and am about to put myself through nursing school. I'll eventually be helping save lives. I mean, it's not a doctor or engineering gig, and I won't be backpacking through Asia, but I think it's pretty freaking exceptional. And that will be with a husband and kids. This woman is a tool.

sarahufl

oh, this is gross. But then again, most stuff on TC should be taken with a grain of salt.

chibiyui

TC is kinda the brain fart of the internet.

I think your awesome. I know I wouldn't be able to go through any kind of schooling if I had kids, and being able to do that makes you pretty fucking awesome.

HisGirlFriday13

Men aren't the enemy of feminism. Women like this are the enemy of feminism.

ETF typo

JCbride2015

This makes me sick.  Ew.

Jells2dot0

Angusaur said:

Sorry if this was posted anywhere on here already, but I'm just stumbling across it. It pisses me the hell off.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/amy-glass/2014/01/i-look-down-on-young-women-with-husbands-and-kids-and-im-not-sorry/

This article literally makes my skin crawl. As if stay at home moms/wives aren't already undermined enough, this peach writes this when she has no idea what the experience is really like. Being a mother is a hell of a lot more than doing the laundry. It's about sacrifice, sleepless nights, putting another life before your own, bending over backwards for their well-being and happiness. Being a mother whether it's stay at home, part time worker, or full time, is difficult PERIOD. (and rewarding!) I can agree with her that women with impressive accomplishments like promotions or graduating medical school deserve celebration too. But how dare she say that mothers will never be anything significant with husbands and children. I would love to see how many of these oh so important women who became doctors, engineers, etc would have turned out without a proper upbringing. I know people are responsible for their own destiny and I'm sure many accomplished people (men and women) made something excellent of themselves regardless of a difficult childhood. I personally know all that I am and have accomplished have a lot to do with my parents and the values they instilled in me. 

I'm a mother, and work for a hospital, and am about to put myself through nursing school. I'll eventually be helping save lives. I mean, it's not a doctor or engineering gig, and I won't be backpacking through Asia, but I think it's pretty freaking exceptional. And that will be with a husband and kids. This woman is a tool.

I cannot read the article as work has blocked that website. However, I can say to the bolded:

1) This is part of the reason I will never be a mother. I am not willing to give up so much for someone else. Maybe that is selfish or rude to some people, but I at least recognize it! So, kudos to those who do it.

2) I am an engineer and whole heartedly agree that my upbringing has definitely helped me to get where I am. I did work hard and continue to work hard, but I was set up for success both emotionally and financially.

 

Angusaur

I've never heard of TC honestly so this is my first read on there. I also cringed when I read that "literally anybody" can find someone to walk down the aisle with or get knocked up. Please tell that to the many devastated infertile women/men/couples, you asshole.

Angusaur

Jells2dot0 said:

Angusaur said:

Sorry if this was posted anywhere on here already, but I'm just stumbling across it. It pisses me the hell off.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/amy-glass/2014/01/i-look-down-on-young-women-with-husbands-and-kids-and-im-not-sorry/

This article literally makes my skin crawl. As if stay at home moms/wives aren't already undermined enough, this peach writes this when she has no idea what the experience is really like. Being a mother is a hell of a lot more than doing the laundry. It's about sacrifice, sleepless nights, putting another life before your own, bending over backwards for their well-being and happiness. Being a mother whether it's stay at home, part time worker, or full time, is difficult PERIOD. (and rewarding!) I can agree with her that women with impressive accomplishments like promotions or graduating medical school deserve celebration too. But how dare she say that mothers will never be anything significant with husbands and children. I would love to see how many of these oh so important women who became doctors, engineers, etc would have turned out without a proper upbringing. I know people are responsible for their own destiny and I'm sure many accomplished people (men and women) made something excellent of themselves regardless of a difficult childhood. I personally know all that I am and have accomplished have a lot to do with my parents and the values they instilled in me. 

I'm a mother, and work for a hospital, and am about to put myself through nursing school. I'll eventually be helping save lives. I mean, it's not a doctor or engineering gig, and I won't be backpacking through Asia, but I think it's pretty freaking exceptional. And that will be with a husband and kids. This woman is a tool.

I cannot read the article as work has blocked that website. However, I can say to the bolded:

1) This is part of the reason I will never be a mother. I am not willing to give up so much for someone else. Maybe that is selfish or rude to some people, but I at least recognize it! So, kudos to those who do it.

2) I am an engineer and whole heartedly agree that my upbringing has definitely helped me to get where I am. I did work hard and continue to work hard, but I was set up for success both emotionally and financially.

 

Kudos to you for #1 - being an engineer! and #2 - Admitting you don't want children and not having them for the sake of society expectations.

JCbride2015

Also-- I have extremely high professional ambitions, but I really admire parents (stay at home or not).  I plan to become a mother one day.  I fully expect being a mother to be way more challenging than being a lawyer.  If I mess up at my job, it's money and my own reputation on the line.  If I mess up as a mother, it's other little human beings at stake.

pinkcow13

JCBride2014 said:

Also-- I have extremely high professional ambitions, but I really admire parents (stay at home or not).  I plan to become a mother one day.  I fully expect being a mother to be way more challenging than being a lawyer.  If I mess up at my job, it's money and my own reputation on the line.  If I mess up as a mother, it's other little human beings at stake.

Stuck in the box - This is exactly how I feel. I love having a career, and have very high ambitions and aspirations. I think I will be a mother one day, but I know that it is no easy task. If it were so easy, I would have chosen to be a mother a long time ago! And it terrifies me to mess up as a mother and screw up my kid. And what is so wrong with having it all? Having a career and kids? Why does it have to be one or the other? And why does having a career mean you're a better person than the person who chose to sacrifice their life for the life of another human being? That article is seriously flawed and honestly sounds like it was written by some bitter woman.

bethsmiles

The constant judging of women for the choices they make is ridiculous. And unfortunately it seems to come from other women more often than not.

HaileyDancingbear

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Men aren't the enemy of feminism. Women like this are the enemy of feminism. ETF typo

Exactly.  People like the author are why so many people hear the word "Feminism" and immediately think of some heartless bitch, and that pisses me off.  It's why you get so many people going "Well I'm not a feminist but blah blah blah" yeah fuck that, that's bullshit, you either think women are people who deserve equal rights/treatment or you don't.  

Fi and I are feminists.  That doesn't mean we hate men, that doesn't mean we hate women who choose to have kids and live a "Traditoinal" life, it means we think women should have the freedom to live the life they choose to live, without asshats like this author taking a shit all over their life choices, because these women apparently "Won't amount to anything," but then if these same women had instead chosen to pursue a career over having kids, they'd have people calling them selfish for not wanting a family.  

You're a slut if you sleep with a dude, you're a prude if you don't let him have you, you're a pushover if you're nice, you're a bitch if you say what's on your mind, you're worthless if you're a mom, you're selfish if you prioritize your career.  So ladies, do whatever the fuck you want with your lives, someone is going to give you shit for it no matter what, because rather than actually be a feminist and support a woman's right to live the life she chooses, all we get are assholes like this who think they can solve the issue by bashing women who don't behave exactly the way they want them to.  Because apparently you can't be empowered if you're not wearing a suit, and there's only one kind of life you can live if you want to be a worthwhile woman.  

Meanwhile I don't see anyone bashing fathers for having kids.

jdluvr06

I have no words for how much this article pissed me off. Ugh! I hope that this woman's mother doesn't read that article. Could you imagine reading that their child didn't appreciate all the sacrifices and love you put into raising them? Oh and btw it isn't always an "easy task" to get "knocked up". This bi... Woman has obviously never been inside of a fertility clinic because if she had she would know how crowded they are with people who need help with this "easy task".

Jells2dot0

Angusaur said:

Jells2dot0 said:

Angusaur said:

Sorry if this was posted anywhere on here already, but I'm just stumbling across it. It pisses me the hell off.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/amy-glass/2014/01/i-look-down-on-young-women-with-husbands-and-kids-and-im-not-sorry/

This article literally makes my skin crawl. As if stay at home moms/wives aren't already undermined enough, this peach writes this when she has no idea what the experience is really like. Being a mother is a hell of a lot more than doing the laundry. It's about sacrifice, sleepless nights, putting another life before your own, bending over backwards for their well-being and happiness. Being a mother whether it's stay at home, part time worker, or full time, is difficult PERIOD. (and rewarding!) I can agree with her that women with impressive accomplishments like promotions or graduating medical school deserve celebration too. But how dare she say that mothers will never be anything significant with husbands and children. I would love to see how many of these oh so important women who became doctors, engineers, etc would have turned out without a proper upbringing. I know people are responsible for their own destiny and I'm sure many accomplished people (men and women) made something excellent of themselves regardless of a difficult childhood. I personally know all that I am and have accomplished have a lot to do with my parents and the values they instilled in me. 

I'm a mother, and work for a hospital, and am about to put myself through nursing school. I'll eventually be helping save lives. I mean, it's not a doctor or engineering gig, and I won't be backpacking through Asia, but I think it's pretty freaking exceptional. And that will be with a husband and kids. This woman is a tool.

I cannot read the article as work has blocked that website. However, I can say to the bolded:

1) This is part of the reason I will never be a mother. I am not willing to give up so much for someone else. Maybe that is selfish or rude to some people, but I at least recognize it! So, kudos to those who do it.

2) I am an engineer and whole heartedly agree that my upbringing has definitely helped me to get where I am. I did work hard and continue to work hard, but I was set up for success both emotionally and financially.

 

Kudos to you for #1 - being an engineer! and #2 - Admitting you don't want children and not having them for the sake of society expectations.

Thanks!

 

Seriously, though- I simply cannot connect with mothers. I just do not have an urge to have a child nor am I particularly fond of anything having to do with babies or children. However, that does not mean there is anything wrong with choosing to do that. Just because someone can't put themselves into the shoes of a mom doesn't mean that it's just flat out wrong to be one. I definitely get a lot of grief for choosing not to have kids and I hope that a mom doesn't write a nasty, thoughtless article about it.

ChemFanatic25

Angusaur said:

I've never heard of TC honestly so this is my first read on there. I also cringed when I read that "literally anybody" can find someone to walk down the aisle with or get knocked up. Please tell that to the many devastated infertile women/men/couples, you asshole.

I'm actually curious if she has heard about all of the gay couples who literally cannot get married in many states still or do they not count as anybody?

Also, I don't like children, and it's probably because they are a huge responsibility and I am not willing to give up all of my work and effort of putting myself through the chemE program just to give it up two years later to have children. Not now, maybe later. I think the author is very bitter.

afox007

I would love to forward this to her mother! I ended up being a stay home "fake" mom to my FI's son after getting laid off. I am honestly more exhausted now than when I was working 40+ hours a week. Mostly because it never stops! FI has even given me credit that without me this house would have fallen apart a long time ago. Plus while laundry may not be as important as being a doctor if we were getting paid it adds up fast

B0320

HisGirlFriday13 said:

Men aren't the enemy of feminism. Women like this are the enemy of feminism. ETF typo

^^^ This EXACTLY.

The worst enemy of feminism is women who think they are above other women for whatever reason. And I really hate women who hate on stay-at-home-wives and stay-at-home-moms. If you want to work in a high pressure job, work part time, or stay home and take care of your husband/raise your children then you (and your husband) make the decision that best fits your family.

blabla89

I did appreciate the first response linked at the bottom - I Feel Sorry for Amy Glass and I'm Not Ashamed.

My grandmother is a feminist. She stayed home and raised four daughters, who in turn were the first generation of our family to go to college. They all have successful careers (a psychiatrist, a lawyer, an architect and a statistician) - in addition to husbands and children. Just because my grandmother stayed at home, that in no way invalidates all she did to make the world a better place for her daughters.

misscoffeeplease

I have been in both positions. I was a SAHM to my daughter for the first 2.5 years of her life. I even SAH while I was pregnant with her. I made the decision to go back to work part-time and now I got promoted to full-time. Women do what is BEST for their family or themselves. I just wish some women could be supportive instead of trying to put their two cents in.

Cookie Pusher

My mother worked full-time when my middle sister and I were kids (6 days a week, 12-14 hours a day at my grandparents' restaurant). She did it because it was the only way she could provide for us. When she remarried (I was 11, middle sister was 6), she became a SAHM because she was about to give birth to my youngest sister, and my stepdad wanted her to be able to be around for us kids (he had a decent paying job and could support all of us). She HATED it. It was fun at first, but she said it was more stressful than working. She got a part-time job as soon as my youngest sister started school, and soon moved up to full-time work again. For her, going to work and being able to have her own money and to contribute financially to our well-being was important and made her feel good about herself. She, however, feels women need to make choices based on what is best for themselves and for their families because she saw how tough living on each side of the argument was.

Chipmunk415

I had a teacher in high school look at me like I'd lost my mind when we were discussing some book and I said I'd rather be an equal partner in a marriage with income rather than have to depend on my husband to finance everything- she said "you don't want him to take care of you?!" Umm, being a wife does not mean you lose your ability to care for yourself!

My mom was able to stay home with me. When I was 2, my paternal grandmother (who had advanced alzheimers) came to live with us. She died when I was 6.5. I think its awesome that my mom was able to stay home with me, take care of me, and take care of my grandmother. I have so much respect for her for doing that. She replies that it's exactly what she wanted to do. Now she was in her 20s during the burn your bra period, and she would be furious to read this article.

Side note- my mom went back to working part time once I was in school and my grandmother was gone, later working with my dad in his medical business. She is now enjoying retirement to the fullest, but keeps her skills up to date (she's a nurse) on the off chance she ever decides to go back and work for hospice (the only option she'd consider, and they won't take a volunteer nurse).