I'm just not sure what to do here and advice would be appreciated.
Backstory is required:
I've had this friend A since college and both of us are very close to friends B and C. A is the type of person who has the ability to be a great friend, but I can't trust her as far as I can throw her. I've long since forgiven the transgressions, but I cannot forget.
She moved away a couple years ago and it's a friendship that isn't making the leap off Facebook to phone calls and e-mails. I haven't made the effort because I prefer my life without drama. But, she hasn't made the effort either. I traveled to her wedding last summer, but honestly I was surprised to be invited. I feel like we've just grown apart, but perhaps she values our shared history.
Well, now that it's time to plan my wedding, I'm not doing "obligation" friend invites. The few friends on my list are those that I speak with via e-mail, phone, and hang out with in person-- even a couple other women who have moved away, but we've staying in touch outside social networking.
A sent me a Facebook message awhile ago asking about my wedding, since she's trying to plan all her travel for 2014 (includes other family events of hers and other weddings). I bean-dipped her in referencing my small guest list, and she didn't write again. Friend B is well aware that A is not invited and my reasons why not.
Well, my Save-the-Dates went out this week. Yay! Apparently it jogged B's memory, as she texted me and goes, "Oh, I forgot to tell you. A sent me a Facebook message asking about your wedding. I was really vague in my reply." I replied that I was sorry she was in such an awkward position.
I'm just.... ugh. I don't really care about this friendship anymore, so if she asked me again, I guess I'd be point-blank and tell her she's not invited because I couldn't accommodate all my friends. (This is true; I wanted a small wedding and FI's parents are paying for half of it. Their family takes up the vast majority of the guest list.) Friend C, on the other hand, has no idea I have misgivings about my friendship with A and a part of me wonders if A would contact C and pump him for details. (He was an usher in A's wedding. They're very close.)
I don't want her putting B and C in weird positions with my wedding. That actually really annoys me. Dare I go so far as to write her a non-invitation, given the circumstances? Or continue to let B bean-dip her until she has the guts to contact me personally again?
Rant: I left her off the guest list specifically because I tired of her drama over the years. She's managing to cause drama even not being invited to this wedding. End rant.