I was just wondering...

aleighc3

Thank you! But I really was just curious...honestly.

FiancB

I do know of one guy that did a sudden swing. The night they got married, he told her that it meant he owned her now. Got very controlling and manipulative and it was over 2 months later, thank God. 

Maybe there were signs in hindsight but nothing that hinted he was an abusive prick. 

pumpkinsandturkeys

I'd say I tend to be the more vocal one in terms of what I like/want, etc. However, I would never tell him that he "can't" do something, nor would he do that to me.

If one of us has an issue with something, we bring it up and say, "This is why I feel you shouldn't do this" or "This is why I'd rather you didn't". But in no way are we dictating what the other can and cannot do. We state our opinions, we consider the other person's stance, and then we communicate our decisions, which are always born out of respect and consideration for the other.

However, we don't generally consult each other on where we go or who we go with. If he wants to go out to a concert or to a bar, more power to him. I'll only counter it if I know we have to drive half an hour to meet the pastor early the next morning, or something like that. But he's still free to go if he chooses to. He would also never tell me that I couldn't hang out with the guys I work with, or that I was dressed inappropriately.

In my opinion, it's all about mutual respect and trust. If you trust each other, there should be no reason to control the other person. And there should be a high enough level of respect between you two that you both consider the other's feelings when making decisions they may not be a huge fan of.