Moms and Maids

Re: z

  • I am sorry but if these two girls want to get their hair and makeup done for your wedding then they need to make their own appointments.

    I would tell your FMIL that you are unable to make them makeup appointments due to the fact that the salon is booked.

    It was incredibly rude of your FMIL to force this issue on you.  If she throws a fit that her two daughters cannot get their makeup done at the same time as you and the wedding party then you need to apologize again and explain that the salon is booked.

    As for the hair I would have let them have the 10am appointment but if they had wanted to come and hang out at 8am while you all were getting done then they could have.

    Finally, I would stop trying to rearrange your schedule just because your FMIL is throwing a fit.  If she does not accept your response then have your FI deal with her since it is his mother.

  • Are your FSILs adults? If they are, they should be able to make their own appointments. Give their phone numbers to the hair stylist and ask her to make arrangements with them, so there are no misunderstandings. I doubt they'd want to show up at eight and wait around for two hours. I know I wouldn't.

    Tell FMIL the make up artist is completely booked that morning. If she gets upset, just say, 'Sorry you're disappointed.' I'd just leave it at that.
  • Your FMIL is being ridiculous.  I'd tell her that the salon is booked so the makeup is a no-go.  When you offer your FMIL the recommendations for other vendors in the area, you could also offer her your salon's phone number, if she wants to fight and try and squeeze them in she should do it herself.  (I only suggest she do it instead of your FSIL's because it seems they let her do all the legwork anyway.) 

    That's a drag that they're already pushing in on an intimate experience.  Props to you for not letting your FMIL pressure you into making the FSIL's often on here I hear "I didn't want them as BMs, we're not that close, but I had to". That drives me crazy so good job! :)

  • Ditto PPs. Tell your FMIL you've already rearranged things twice to include them, even though they're not in the WP, and you are both unwilling and unable to do it again.

    She doesn't get to insert her daughter's in the day just became she wishes they were BMs. And it was INCREDIBLY rude of her to ask what she's already asked.

    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • no way. i'd point blank tell her that you're looking forward to having some time alone with your bm's before the wedding so you can't accommodate the fsil's. i don't like when people get in my business. 
  • Thanks everyone for the replies.

    I should have consulted Knotties from the outset. Instead I gave in when I shouldn't have. I am calling FMIL tonight to inform her that her request is not possible, giving her some recommendations, and leaving it at that.

    Since I made it, I have wavered several times on my decision not to include them in the bridal party. As we get closer to the day, I am becoming more certain I made the correct decision.
  • drmrs2014 said:

    Some background: my original plan for the day of my wedding was to get hair done with my three bridesmaids, my mother, the flower girl, and my FMIL. This plan – and the appointments – had been set in stone for months. Afterward, just myself and my BMs would go to have our makeup done.  My mother’s stylist, who used to be mine before I  moved away some years ago, was going to do my hair, my mom’s hair, and my sister’s hair. She recruited another stylist in the co-op (each stylist has their own room and business) to do my two other bridesmaids, our flower girl, and my FMIL.

    I get an email from my FMIL about two weeks ago asking if my two FSILs can also have their hair done that morning. They are not in the wedding party and are delivering readings on the wedding day. I called my stylist and asked if she could recruit another stylist so they could have their hair done. She found someone, but she could only do the girls’ hair at 10am – the rest of us are going at 8am. I called to let my FMIL know and she insisted they go at the same time as everyone else, no questions. After a few phone calls and begging, I managed to work this out.

    Now my FMIL wants my two FSILs to also get their makeup done at the same time and place as me and my bridal party. I was already not thrilled about them joining in on our hair appointments, as I wanted this to be a special time with my bridesmaids. I feel like my FMIL is trying to insert them into this experience because they are not in the wedding party - something she has indicated she was upset by. I did not select them as bridesmaids because I am not particularly close to them and, in fact, they’ve been fairly unpleasant to me during the many years my FI and I have been dating. While they are from out of town and I understand their need for recommendations, I simply don’t want them included in this intimate experience .

    I’m not sure how to handle this. I called the makeup studio and they are booked up for wedding makeup that day. I got a few other recommendations from them and plan to pass them along to my FMIL explaining that it is not possible to join the wedding party for makeup. Is this a reasonable approach? How should I handle if she rejects this, like she did with the hair appointments?

    Problem solved!

    Do as you had planned, tell FMIL that your MUA is booked, she gave you the following recommendations for another MUA for the girls, and bean dip her or walk away, or ignore all further texts, emails, etc. on the matter.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • PrettyGirlLost said:

    Do as you had planned, tell FMIL that your MUA is booked, she gave you the following recommendations for another MUA for the girls, and bean dip her or walk away, or ignore all further texts, emails, etc. on the matter.
    This.  And if there are any more future demands from your FMIL for her girls because your bridesmaids are doing something, remind her that they are not bridesmaids, and it's up to her to deal with that without involving you.  Then bean dip her and ignore her from now on.
  • Is she even going to pay for her daughters' hair, or does she expect you're going to since I assume you are for the bridal party as well?
    If she expects you to pay for the daughters that she invited herself... that's even more annoying than it already is.
  • @aurianna - Yes I am paying for the bridal party but made is perfectly clear I wasn't paying for them when I said so and told her the stylist's prices. :)
  • Good good. Don't let her leaving you holding that bag.
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