Would you still chip in?

lizandmark2014

I have RSVPed yes to my friend's Bachlorette party. I have planed to attend for about a month. Yesterday an ice storm hit my city. On my way home me and another car hydroplane into each other. My car is not drivable, the other car is drivable. Thankfully no injuries to people.

I can no longer get to her Bachlorette party. I still want to contribute to covering her drinks.
Would you still chip in or just stay home?

CLoGreenEyes

First, glad there were no injuries!

I think it's extremely nice of you to still want to chip in for the bachelorette party even if you can't go! However, I don't think you're obligated by any means. I don't think that I would, personally, but this is totally up to you. But is there any way you could get a ride or carpool with someone? It sucks that you would have to totally miss the party over the accident.

HaileyDancingbear

You're not obligated to by any means, but if you still want to chip in it would be a nice gesture.

lyndausvi

Glad you are okay.

I would not go, but I would more than likely try and find a way to pay for at a round of drinks (depending on how many people are going to be there).

ETA - hit return too early.   You don't have to chip in if you do not want.  Pretty much up to you.

hlvonb

I am sorry to hear about the accident but glad no one was hurt. I personally would chip in but you are NOT obligated to do it. After all, you were planning on going anyway before the accident.

EllieAugust

I disagree, I think you should check with those that organized the bachelorette party to see if there are any costs that have already been paid for you (tickets to a show, winery tours etc).  I think you should cover these costs, since you had confirmed that you would attending.

Although it sucks you won't be able to attend, the other girls should not be left to cover these for you.  

WildMagelet

EllieAugust said:

I disagree, I think you should check with those that organized the bachelorette party to see if there are any costs that have already been paid for you (tickets to a show, winery tours etc).  I think you should cover these costs, since you had confirmed that you would attending.

Although it sucks you won't be able to attend, the other girls should not be left to cover these for you.  

If such costs have already been incurred without the OPs knowledge or agreement I highly disagree that she should have to cover them.   Since she didn't mention any, I am going to assume that there are none.  

OP, It's a nice gesture but not required.  I would still try and cover a round of drinks if possible.

cruffino

Two women who had originally RSVPed yes to my bachelorette couldn't come because of a death in their family. They sent me a bottle of champagne with a sweet note. I was really touched by that. I love champagne. Maybe something like that instead of money or a round of drinks?

climbingsingle

I'm glad you're OK! 

cruffino said:

Two women who had originally RSVPed yes to my bachelorette couldn't come because of a death in their family. They sent me a bottle of champagne with a sweet note. I was really touched by that. I love champagne. Maybe something like that instead of money or a round of drinks?

I think this is a good idea. 

erinlin25

yikes, I hydroplaned way back when I was 18 and I am still terrified of driving in the rain because of it.  Glad you are OK!! 

in terms of the bachelorette party, ditto pp's that if there was a major per person fee I would at least offer to pay your portion.  They may say do not worry about it!  But it is better than putting that cost on everyone else and having them bitch about it.  I am sure most people would tell you not to worry and rest though.  If you know where they are going it would be nice to send a bottle of wine/champagne to the table or call in a round of drinks if you can but not necessary.  I am sure your friend knows you would be there if you could figure out alternate transportation.  Or send your friend a cute card to let her know you were thinking about her with a gift card or something. Again, not required, but a nice gesture if you can afford it.

PennyBlossom2311

So glad to hear you are ok and that no one was injured in the accident.

Unless, as PP have stated, a ticket or something like it has already been purchased, I don't believe you need to give anything. Even then I'm sure most people attending the party will be very understanding that you cannot attend and will not expect you to pay or send a gift. I do, however, like the idea of sending a nice card or a bottle of wine that can be opened while everyone is getting ready. It could be a fun way of being a part of the celebreations even though you cannot attend.

In college, a friend of mine sent along a card with cash to pay for the cab ride since she couldn't attend the party. Even though it was probably a ten-minute ride, it was a neat gesture and we enjoyed not having to worry about a DD and getting lost in a new city. But, if money is tight, I think a nice card would be touching and greatly appreciated.