Changing my name…

mellyln

I don't know where else to put this, but for some reason it makes me feel down. 

I want to change my name and take my fiancé's last name. I also want to keep my last name and hyphen it. The problem I see is I have two middle names and it just feels so so long to keep them all. My two middle names go together, so it's not like I can take one out and leave the other. I would rather hyphen my maiden name and my fiancé's last name and get rid of my middle name all together… is that weird? Do I have to keep my middle names? Would I need them in the future? I mean, with my name change (and I'm moving to a different Country), I'm starting from square 1 anyway (building credit, etc.). 

I don't know why it makes me feel a bit down. I don't love my middle name and never use it unless I absolutely have to… I don't think my parents would mind, but I haven't said anything just in case theres a slim chance it might make them sad. I'm moving away, changing everything, and taking out a name they gave me when I was born. 

Thanks for any input. 

hlvonb

@mellyln

I can understand what you're saying. My friend got married and she made her maiden name her middle name (so to say) so when she signed the marriage certificate and changed her name she changed it to Kathy Tuss Smith (name changed from what it really is)

HisGirlFriday13

mellyln said:

I don't know where else to put this, but for some reason it makes me feel down. 

I want to change my name and take my fiancé's last name. I also want to keep my last name and hyphen it. The problem I see is I have two middle names and it just feels so so long to keep them all. My two middle names go together, so it's not like I can take one out and leave the other. I would rather hyphen my maiden name and my fiancé's last name and get rid of my middle name all together… is that weird? Do I have to keep my middle names? Would I need them in the future? I mean, with my name change (and I'm moving to a different Country), I'm starting from square 1 anyway (building credit, etc.). 

I don't know why it makes me feel a bit down. I don't love my middle name and never use it unless I absolutely have to… I don't think my parents would mind, but I haven't said anything just in case theres a slim chance it might make them sad. I'm moving away, changing everything, and taking out a name they gave me when I was born. 

Thanks for any input. 

This isn't your parents' decision. And rather than thinking of it as "I'm taking away a name they gave me when I was born,' think of it as, 'I am honouring them by keeping the last name of my family of origin in my new name.'

Which is what I did. I dropped my birth middle name, made my maiden name my middle name, and took DH'S name.

You seem very hung up on what your parents will think -- are you an only child?

thejucheidea

I'm a first maiden last, but my parents still call me by my birth middle name, ha. Parents will find a way.

pinkshorts27

mellyln said:

I don't know where else to put this, but for some reason it makes me feel down. 

I want to change my name and take my fiancé's last name. I also want to keep my last name and hyphen it. The problem I see is I have two middle names and it just feels so so long to keep them all. My two middle names go together, so it's not like I can take one out and leave the other. I would rather hyphen my maiden name and my fiancé's last name and get rid of my middle name all together… is that weird? Do I have to keep my middle names? Would I need them in the future? I mean, with my name change (and I'm moving to a different Country), I'm starting from square 1 anyway (building credit, etc.). 

I don't know why it makes me feel a bit down. I don't love my middle name and never use it unless I absolutely have to… I don't think my parents would mind, but I haven't said anything just in case theres a slim chance it might make them sad. I'm moving away, changing everything, and taking out a name they gave me when I was born. 

Thanks for any input. 

Do what you want. I am attached to my name, but determined to have the same name as FI. That is important to me! So I'm going crazy and taking his last name (hyphonated) So I will be (name changed)

Jessica Renee Jameson Johnson-Smith

themuffinman16

Hahaha.  I am keeping my last name. No hyphen.  Kind of a sore subject with FI, but he is starting to come around.  I am the one who has to live under a different name.  Never understood why women had to go into the witness protection program just to get married.  Many gay couples keep their own last names.  my children will have FIs last name, though.  It's a personal choice, but I have lived 35 years with the same name... to me it feels kind of silly to change it, when I have been Miss muffinman my whole life. I don't care if women love to change their names to their husbands, but, for me, it just felt weird. So I am bucking tradition and being an atypical bride.

VarunaTT

@blueeyes90 Edit out your full name,please.  Internet safety in 2014.

WildMagelet

It's totally a personal choice which neither your parents nor your FI get any say in.  If you want to get rid of your MNs then go for it. 

I'm currently debating combining my first and last name legally.  I'm not particularly fond of my first or last name, but do like my middle name.  My dad's mom had the same LN though and she and I were particularly close so it would be more like honoring her.  The first 3 letters of my 1st name + 1st 3 letters of my last name and then keeping my Middle and taking FI's last.

Example (not my name): 

Jennifer Middle Ellsworth = Jenelle Middle HisLast

JCbride2015

VarunaTT said:

@blueeyes90 Edit out your full name,please.  Internet safety in 2014.

I think that's a fake name just to use as an example.

JCbride2015

OP, I'm going through the same thought process.  It's tough when you love your own name but also want to make Fi happy by taking his.

I think what your parents want should have absolute no role in this whatsoever.

Having multiple middle names isn't a big deal and probably isn't too much.  You won't use them on a regular basis.

pinkshorts27

VarunaTTJCBride2014  Yes it is a fake name with similar number of syllables. None are my name, I combined pieces of my friends names.  

mellyln

I don't know where else to put this, but for some reason it makes me feel down. 

I want to change my name and take my fiancé's last name. I also want to keep my last name and hyphen it. The problem I see is I have two middle names and it just feels so so long to keep them all. My two middle names go together, so it's not like I can take one out and leave the other. I would rather hyphen my maiden name and my fiancé's last name and get rid of my middle name all together… is that weird? Do I have to keep my middle names? Would I need them in the future? I mean, with my name change (and I'm moving to a different Country), I'm starting from square 1 anyway (building credit, etc.). 

I don't know why it makes me feel a bit down. I don't love my middle name and never use it unless I absolutely have to… I don't think my parents would mind, but I haven't said anything just in case theres a slim chance it might make them sad. I'm moving away, changing everything, and taking out a name they gave me when I was born. 

Thanks for any input. 

This isn't your parents' decision. And rather than thinking of it as "I'm taking away a name they gave me when I was born,' think of it as, 'I am honouring them by keeping the last name of my family of origin in my new name.' Which is what I did. I dropped my birth middle name, made my maiden name my middle name, and took DH'S name. You seem very hung up on what your parents will think -- are you an only child?

No I'm not the only child. But I am moving out of the Country… I am very close with my parents, they are amazing. And I just don't want to hurt them. They ultimately are happy with whatever choice I make. Which is exactly how they've always been my whole life - supportive of my decisions. They said I could do what I want, but don't be stunned if they still call me by it because of habit. Which I don't mind at all. I still feel that it's still my name, I just don't want it to be so long since I want to keep my maiden name and FI name. Maybe it's me relocating that makes me feel guilty. To my parents and FI they want me to do what makes me happy, but to me it just feels like a bigger deal then maybe it is. I guess I'm a bit attached. I'm also a bit nervous that i'll have issues when getting all my new docs (SSN, Drivers License etc.) if I were to remove my middle name when getting married.