NWR: Needing to vent

cruffino

My heart hurts for PSH and his loved ones. Addiction is a chronic disease. I hate the disease, and empathize with all it's sufferers.

Yes, there is a component of choice, but it's not a moral failing or a matter of willpower. It's a brain disease, yet so many people just blame the addict. It's easier that way, than trying to understand it's complexities.

I wouldn't normally nitpick, but I think it's important to note that he died on Saturday night, and was found on Sunday. It's insulting to judge his love for his children by insinuating that he planned to get high and pick up his kids. Is it possible to love your children if you have aids or diabetes? Are you no longer human if you have a disease?

This topic is so personal to me. It is the center if my professional life, and affects me personally as well. So I am obviously biased. I'm suggesting that it's ok to mourn his death, grieve for his family, and hate the disease.

EverAfer

I love everything @cruffino said.

Addiction is a disease, it is a mental disease. 

It's not about choosing drugs, alcohol, cigarettes over the people you love and care.  It's a disease in the brain and fighting it with logic doesn't solve it.  It isn't an easy fix of just getting over it or stop doing it.  Usually with addictions, there are genetics, but also other underlying issues.  We might never know what else was going on in his head, and can't really judge.

Let's just hope he's in peace and his family will find peace in their grieving and come to terms with their loss.

Blergbot

Sure, addiction can be overcome.  Just like depression or schizophrenia or any other number of brain conditions can be overcome.  But I think it's unfair to addicts to say they make an active choice every time they use.

@JCBride2014 I agreed with everything you were saying until the above. I think it was just your choice of words, though. These chronic diseases can be treated, yes, and some people with mild depressive episodes can fully recover, but those of us with a deep, intractable depression (etc.) can never be rid of it without a rewiring of our brains. Sadly, I just found this out by thinking I was in a good place and I could just go off my meds. I know that this is based on my own personal experience, and not everyone is the same, but depression is something I have battled my whole life, and I will continue to.

All the more to the point, though, a lot of people who suffer from depression also have a tendency toward addictive behaviors. At first they self medicate or engage in risky behaviors stemming from anxiety and depression, and then wind up hopelessly addicted. Didn't mean to bite anyone's head off or nit pick, just want to clarify that these are chronic diseases (including addiction). 

PolarBearFitz

So glad there are people who actually know how addiction affects people. Incredibly happy to read those who recognize it as a disease. Thank goodness!

I think it is incredibly ridiculous to be passing judgement on someone who has passed as a parent or a person that you don't even know! Speaking ill of the dead is so rude and insensitive. Sitting here speculating the intent of a dead person is really an ignorant act in my opinion. How could you decide what he was going to do or what his last thoughts were before applying drugs to his system? You also have no idea how his addiction came to be.

JCbride2015

@blergbot Yes I meant more like, "can be treated with the right meds."  I understand if somebody has a brain chemistry issue, it's just anatomical and will always be there.

climbingsingle

tmclawchick said:

My grandfather was an alcoholic for over 20 years, and he died as a result. My father is an alcoholic, and has (fortunately) stayed sober for over 3 years (though the memories and emotional trauma are still present). My sister, knowing how we may be predisposed to alcoholism, is currently an alcoholic. I may know a thing or two about addiction. I likely have such negative opinions BECAUSE of my experiences in watcing addition tear apart relationships, not because I know nothing about it. What I do know is that my sister didn't just wake up out of the blue craving a drink. She drank, socially at first. Now it's a huge issue that's taken its grip, ended her marriage, wrecked her career, and honestly, I'm pissed. The first time you choose to take a drink/shoot up/hell, smoke a cigarette, you're playing a risky game, even under ideal circumstances. While the addiction takes over, it all stems from a choice that was made. I'd be willing to bet PSH didn't wake up suddenly craving heroin either.

That's really all I have to say on the matter. Again, I'm content with agreeing to disagree here.

 

@tmclawchick can you honestly tell me you have never taken a drink in your entire life? 

tmclawchick

No. I didn't say that. Truthfully, I'd rather not "dig this hole any deeper" here. Clearly I've offended quite a few of you, so I'm not really looking to continue my part of this discussion.

climbingsingle

tmclawchick said:

No. I didn't say that. Truthfully, I'd rather not "dig this hole any deeper" here. Clearly I've offended quite a few of you, so I'm not really looking to continue my part of this discussion.

Stuck in box. 

Going by your logic though, since alcoholism runs in your family, you should have never had a drink ever in your entire life. I get that you don't want to dig the hole any deeper, but what you said in this post was very upsetting to me. 

Rebl90

HisGirlFriday13 said:

banana468 said:

You aren't getting it. He wasn't making a choice. Those suffering with addiction to drugs, particularly something as addictive as heroin, are ruled by the addiction. Do you seriously think that we would have rehabilitation centers specializing in addiction if those suffering from the disease (Yes. It's a disease as indicated in the DSM. ) could just choose not to take the drug? Really???

This. All of this. People don't choose to be addicts anymore than they choose to have blonde hair or blue eyes. A predilection to addiction is in our DNA -- and dates back to Neanderthal times (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-25944817).

@tmclawchick -- it's not a matter of choice, and your continued statement that it is makes me lose respect for you. Did PSH make a bad decision? Yes, yes he did. And he paid for it WITH HIS LIFE. But he didn't CHOOSE to be an addict. He didn't CHOOSE to have screwed-up brain chemistry that makes him more susceptible to addiction than other people. 

I've personally struggled with drug addiction, and not that I owe anyone an explanation, I was addicted to painkillers after I suffered a debilitating  injury when I was 16 years old.  I was hooked before I was even aware (I didn't abuse, I was prescribed too much because the pain was so devastating after a number of failed surgeries).  My addiction then was merely physical, but when I took meds again recently (I'm 24) after a bad flare up I came dangerously close to going down the wrong path when I realized the drugs also made me forget the emotional "pain" I struggle with.  Stop your judging until you walk a mile in someone's shoes @tmclawchick.

Thank you, @HisGirlFriday13 and @banana486, you rock.