I Think I was Banned From the Offbeat Bride Facebook Page...

doeydo

They were posting ridiculous stuff like this: http://offbeatbride.com/2012/08/wedding-dress-code
And I commented saying how rude it was to request guests to wear anything etc. and now I go on their FB page again, and I can't comment on their posts and my previous comments aren't showing.  I guess I was unaware that "Offbeat" meant breaking etiquette and offending people. 

HisGirlFriday13

Clearly, being "off beat" means you don't have to march to the basic beat of etiquette.

(See what I did there? )

pumpkinsandturkeys

Weird. I'm a member of their site (I've yet to post/comment on anything, though), and while I find that some of the things are wonderfully inclusive, their quest to be accepting and non-judgmental sometimes results in the creation of a 'them' and 'us' that isn't overly necessary.

chibiyui

I was poking around on Offbeat the other day and, well, I'm very very very thankful I became involved in this community instead of that one.

I like their site for inspiration and such. But at this point, I think that's all it's "good" for. I get not wanting to be cookie cutter and sticking the finger to the WIC, but you can still have Katy Perry the lemonade pissing unicorn without telling your guests what to wear and being a brat about "your day".

HaileyDancingbear

I have kind of a love/hate relationship with offbeat things, TBH.  I think being unique and different is great, but you should be different because you actually are different- sometimes I feel people just do stuff for the sake of being different.  (Cough *hipsters* cough)  People need to realize that pretty much EVERY idea has been done before in some way shape or form, so what really matters is that you do something that you like and represents you, not having a pissing contest to see who can be the most out there.  

And I don't think any level of being offbeat excuses you from being polite or nice to others.  I don't care if you're the most different person in the world and nobody will ever be anything like you- if you're a dick, you're a dick.  

For instance, I'm THIS CLOSE to just saying f it and using Studio Ghibli movies as the inspiration for my wedding.  It's outdoors so I wanna hide little forest spirits from Princess Mononoke in the lower branches of trees and have them lining the path to the reception, and maybe even put little soot sprites on the invites, but I'm still going to follow the same rules of etiquette because putting soot sprites on my invites doesn't make b-listing, for instance, any cuter.  

NavyBlue143

Offbeat Bride promotes honeymoon, cash, and down payment registries. So that should tell you where they stand on etiquette.

Emmy1493

Oh, God I couldn't even finish the story. How hard is it to grasp proper etiquette and manners? Apparently too hard. Gahhhhhhh.

Cookie Pusher

I got like 3 lines in and had to close the window.

Rebl90

I love the comment by one girl that says "our dress code is 'summer lovin casual!" ....

WildMagelet

For instance, I'm THIS CLOSE to just saying f it and using Studio Ghibli movies as the inspiration for my wedding.  It's outdoors so I wanna hide little forest spirits from Princess Mononoke in the lower branches of trees and have them lining the path to the reception, and maybe even put little soot sprites on the invites, but I'm still going to follow the same rules of etiquette because putting soot sprites on my invites doesn't make b-listing, for instance, any cuter.  
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That's amazing.  Sculpey, a little paint, and voila!  I also feel like there should be star flakes involved somewhere.

HaileyDancingbear

flutterbride2b said:

For instance, I'm THIS CLOSE to just saying f it and using Studio Ghibli movies as the inspiration for my wedding.  It's outdoors so I wanna hide little forest spirits from Princess Mononoke in the lower branches of trees and have them lining the path to the reception, and maybe even put little soot sprites on the invites, but I'm still going to follow the same rules of etiquette because putting soot sprites on my invites doesn't make b-listing, for instance, any cuter.  

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That's amazing.  Sculpey, a little paint, and voila!  I also feel like there should be star flakes involved somewhere.

I actually would have been a sculpture major if I had continued going to art school, so they'd be a lot of fun to make, and I would totally keep them around my home afterwards.

And the star flakes is a great idea, maybe instead of confetti or flowers etc. we could throw little star flakes at the ceremony!  

Edited because quote box is being weird

KytchynWitche

I haven't been on offbeat bride in forever, but I used to visit a lot when I first got engaged - because I was happy to see other brides with multicoloured hair and visible tattoos. That's honestly about it. I find most of their stuff pretty ridic.

cruffino

I joined and made my first post about shoes. Within minutes I got an email from some mod telling me that my post was being taken down and moved to my "timeline" or "diary/blog" (or something) because shoes aren't things that are post-able....or some such nonsense.

I didn't go back because I thought it was really weird and controlling. They are really serious about what you can and can't say and how everyone must be positive and validating. Which us total BS. It is a rank pool of etiquette faux pas. And I don't care for my free speech being limited. I have a million tattoos and I'm still hosting my guests properly!

FiancB

I used to love that site. The first time I was engaged I was on there all the time. This time around a few years later I'm pretty bored with it. There used to be genuinely good and unique ideas there, now it's just "how weird can we make this?". 

And while they try to be really inclusive and that's a good thing, I felt almost excluded for not being offbeat enough. There's a lot of stuff you can't post anymore too, for worry of offending someone, and I'm not a big fan of over moderation. The forum isn't set up well and it's pretty dead. 

Chipmunk415

Rebl90 said:

I love the comment by one girl that says "our dress code is 'summer lovin casual!" ....

I would deliberately show up in a thong bikini (and I do not have the body for one) with sunglasses and flip flops on. I MIGHT wear a sarong skirt, but it would be macrame and would not hide my cellulite. THAT is "summer lovin casual."

misshart00

I can't get over the "outshine the bride" dress code because they even had a fashion show at the reception.

emmyg65

I'm a member of the Offbeat Bride Tribe, which is their message board community, and yeah, they don't care much about etiquette. Apparently, it's too traditional, and traditions suck. Except the whole point of etiquette is to be polite and take others' feelings into account.

There are a lot of good things about the site, though. I like that it gives brides different ideas of how a wedding can look, and license to do things differently looks-wise or ceremony-wise. It's very LGBT-friendly, and plus-size friendly, and does a better job representing people of different ethnicities than other wedding websites.

Now that I'm not engaged anymore, one of the most interesting things for me is how Ariel Meadow Stallings makes her editorial choices and manages the community. She has pretty strict commenting policies, and she's very open about it. I've learned a lot of good stuff about community management and how to run a blog as a business.

So basically, I like that Offbeat Bride is very clearly a certain thing, and while they're generally inclusive, it's not right for everybody. And they're okay with that.

grumbledore

Ha, I got banned from Offbeat Bride after like 3 posts.

rajahmd

I loved OBB when I first found it. That site is a huge part of what helped me become comfortable with my dream of wearing a pink dress when people in real life were telling me I wouldn't look "bridal" enough. But there are definitely times where I think they shun etiquette just because it's associated with tradition. And you can't really disagree with someone without getting moderated. I stopped using the forum because of that. While I love their original message (spreading the word about non-traditional couples, relationships, and weddings), I think they've become too focused on being anti-wedding industry and alot of them view etiquette as part of the industry (even though in actuality the industry doesn't like etiquette either).

MobKaz

doeydo said:

They were posting ridiculous stuff like this: http://offbeatbride.com/2012/08/wedding-dress-code
And I commented saying how rude it was to request guests to wear anything etc. and now I go on their FB page again, and I can't comment on their posts and my previous comments aren't showing.  I guess I was unaware that "Offbeat" meant breaking etiquette and offending people. 

Sadly, "untraditional" is also being used in the same way.  I have seen many brides argue their etiquette faux pas with the reasoning that "they are not interested in being a "traditional" bride. Since when does being offbeat or non traditional now go hand in hand with ill mannered?

hellohkb

I LOVE love love Offbeat Bride for wedding inspiration and for finding vendors. However, I do find that they give really rude advice, like having a pot luck wedding. wtf!?

I went to the OBB fb page and didn't see a comment about telling your guests what to wear is rude. I guess they did delete it. God forbid you disagree with poor etiquette.