Prudie: The workplace bathroom etiquette expert

mrsconn23

Dear Prudie, 
You are the go-to person for workplace bathroom etiquette, and I have a problem with a colleague of mine. Every time I use the bathroom and he is in a stall (I know it's him because we work in a small office), he flushes the toilet about seven times before he is done! Admittedly I am a bleeding-heart environmentalist, but this one really bugs me because we live in California, which is suffering from extreme drought. I think it is incredibly offensive to be wasting so much water. Is there any way I can bring this up? Would it be rude to do so? Can I do it anonymously or can I maybe incorporate it into a teasing-style joke that maybe he would get the hint? Should I just keep quiet? I wish this kind of stuff didn't bug me so much, but it does. 

—Flush With Anger

baconsmom

What did Prudie say? And why do guys poop at work so much? (Or maybe, why do I only poop at home?) 

tawillers

The pooper probably thinks he is being courteous.

NOLABridesmaid

Maybe he eats a lot of fiber and one flush doesn't do the job.

AuntFlo

OMG people need to mind their own f-ing business.

dharmabunny

And this is why I try to avoid #2 at work. Or if it must be done, go to another floor

6fsn

My guess is a combination of coworker trying to be courteous and the bathrooms having those stupid low flow toilets that require a few.

mrsconn23

Her response:

Dear Flush,
I have always wanted to be an expert at something, and it’s so gratifying to know that I have achieved this life ambition! There is a socially arrived at agreement that the other stall is what in international law is described as terra nullius, or land belonging to no one. Sure, when someone settles into the stall, it briefly becomes occupied territory, but what goes on there is supposed to be off-limits to acknowledgement or conversation. (There is an exception when someone appears to be endangering themselves or engaging in illegal activity. But most people would rather butt out than investigate this.) What your colleague is doing is strange, and I’m going to guess he may be dealing with a compulsion. But since you’re the one consumed with counting how many times a co-worker flushes, try to be more sympathetic to someone struggling with useless obsessions. I understand that your state is parched and everyone must do their bit to conserve water. But you won’t solve the drought singlehandedly by curtailing your co-worker’s bathroom habits. If it will make you feel better, when you get home, try to make up for his profligacy by flushing less and taking shorter showers. And just think, if you consume less water at work, you’ll spend less time listening to what’s going on in the next stall.

—Prudie

loveshine1

Oh my God. The toilet and whatever goes on behind the stall door is no ones business. I don't care if you're so concerned about the environment that you feel the need to police how many flushes your co-worker makes.

Keep your mouth friggin' shut and mind your damn business.