Sometimes it is best to just ask

jdluvr06

So I was skyping with a few of my cousins and my sister this morning. They asked me how my wedding planning was going (well one of my cousins did my sister knows all about it... Sometimes I think she is more excited than me). Anyway since they brought up the subject I asked if they thought we should have a seating chart because my FI and I keep going back and forth on it. One day we think it is a good idea the next day we don't. Lol. So after a longer than was probably necessary discussion they said they didn't feel a seating chart would be necessary. Does that mean I made a decision? Nope. But it was nice to have the insight of people in our group.

Teddy917

Maybe have assigned tables but not assigned seats.

jdluvr06

If we have any sort of seating chart then it would just be assigned tables. I hate going to weddings with assigned seats. Treating your guest like elementary school children is uncool. Lol. We keep going back and forth because we aren't sure it is needed. Or guest list is 85... No wait 86 (I added my friend's mom to guest list last night) and pretty much everyone knows each other. 46 of that is my family, 3 is his (his parents are only children and his grandparents have passed) and the rest are friends who might as well be family (my family is completely awesome and we pick up a lot of honorary family members).

MairePoppy

Assigned/open seating seems to be a regional preference. Assigned tables is the norm in my social group. I don't feel like we're being treated like school children, but rather my hosts have been considerate enough to care that my husband and I will get to sit with people we know, that my group won't be split up. 

jdluvr06

I wasn't very clear in my last post. I didn't mean I thought having assigned tables felt like being treated like I'm in school. I meant assigned... For lack of a better word spots do. Like when you have to sit in this chair at this table. Wait... Just thought of a better way to word that. I don't like assigned chairs. I could take or leave assigned tables. Either way works for me on that but I think assigned chairs are a bit much. There is no norm in my social circle for it. I've been weddings with seating charts and weddings without. It has just depended on the couple's preference. FI and I don't have a preference about this so we really have no idea what we want to do about it.

KatWAG

I think assigned tables is best. If you dont have a seating chart, plan to have 15% extra chairs/ tables.

The reason I like assigned table is because that way I can enjoy the cocktail hour. I dont have to rush the tables to make sure I save spots for my friends and I.

jenna8984

We only have 55 guests and I'm doing assigned tables. While everyone has basically met everyone and will know people, I still have friends who get along better than others. One of my friend's FI is a total obnoxious douche so I'm making sure that my friends flying 3,000 miles aren't subjected to sitting near him and stuff like that. And a lot of my male friends are really close friends with my brother so I don't want them all fighting to sit at the same table with him when he should really be with my parents (since they are OOT and don't see him much).

sarahufl

We are doing assigned tables. When you have 200 (or more....gasp!) guests, it just makes sense. To me, it isn't about MAKING people sit places, it is more about filling tables. I would hate to have stray chairs empty at random tables and make people find a seat.

erinlin25

I suggest at least assigned tables. My brothers wedding was small, with about 40 or so guests so they did not do assigned seating and it was crazy town. No one knew where they "should" sit and it was so chaotic. 

doeydo

Does your caterer require to know who is sitting where?  For example, Jane Doe wants the chicken and she is sitting in X place, John Doe wants the beef and is sitting in X place.

jdluvr06

@doeydo nope. We're going to do appetizers and we'll have stations for them.

doeydo

Ah, ok.  Then just assigned tables would be nice, I think.

pinkshorts27

I say do assigned tables. When I went to my FI's friends wedding and even though we knew a ton of people, it was awkward to try to find seats.

WildMagelet

As a guest I prefer assigned tables.

HisGirlFriday13

I have always preferred assigned tables.

jdluvr06

Neither of us have a preference and that is the problem. We'll probably go back and forth until the week before the wedding when we're forced to make a decision.

APDSS22

My two cents...we didn't do assigned tables but we had plenty of extra room for people to sit and with almost 20 no shows finding seats definitely wasn't a problem.  Maybe it's just because the only wedding I went to with assigned tables is the one I wrote about in the Worst Weddings thread, but I like free-range guest seating.

Cookie Pusher

FI's sister didn't have assigned seating or assigned tables. A lot of people crammed chairs into already full tables to avoid sitting with people they didn't know. There was a lot of extended family invited who didn't know each other, so it did get a little bit awkward. Many of the older folks grabbed seats at tables before the cocktail hour ended (they were in separate rooms), so it limited where everyone else sat since there was exactly enough seating for everyone who attended.

ETA: You really stalk me over mundane crap like this?

FiancB

My friend's wedding wasn't assigned and it was nbd to me but there were several people there that I knew so I sat with them. I like assigned tables for when I don't know a lot of people. Most of the weddings I've been to did that. 

huskypuppy14

I have never been to a wedding with open seating (except my aunt's, but she had only 30 people and it was in her house, so I don't count that). I think it's just easier for everyone if you assign tables. It's even more important the more people you invite. If you really don't want to have assigned tables then you have to have 15% more seating then people attending.