Ring Bearer drama

jaghdr28

Ok. So I'm having a patriotic themed wedding... so we're obviously rocking the red, white, and blue. I was going to have two flower girls and two ring bearers, one set carrying a red pillow/basket, and the other set carrying a blue pillow/basket. Well, I've been informed that one of the boys won't be able to come so now I'm down a ring bearer and I don't know anyone else with a boy that age... sort of messes up the way I was going to do things but I guess my question is, should I go with one and just have him carry both pillows? Or should I try to find a replacement? 

Simply Fated

jaghdr28 said:

Ok. So I'm having a patriotic themed wedding... so we're obviously rocking the red, white, and blue. I was going to have two flower girls and two ring bearers, one set carrying a red pillow/basket, and the other set carrying a blue pillow/basket. Well, I've been informed that one of the boys won't be able to come so now I'm down a ring bearer and I don't know anyone else with a boy that age... sort of messes up the way I was going to do things but I guess my question is, should I go with one and just have him carry both pillows? Or should I try to find a replacement? 

Please don't replace the ring bearer. In general, you shouldn't really replace people. You choose people because they are special to you, not because they look a certain way/age/height etc and certainly not to fit a preconceived color scheme. If another little boy was special to you, then you would have chosen them to begin with, kwim?

I can understand how you want things to look a certain way, though.
Can I offer a third alternative? Have one girl carry a blue basket. Have another girl carry a red basket. Have the boy carry a white pillow. This way, you'll still have your red, white and blue color scheme.

WildMagelet

Simply Fated said:

jaghdr28 said:

Ok. So I'm having a patriotic themed wedding... so we're obviously rocking the red, white, and blue. I was going to have two flower girls and two ring bearers, one set carrying a red pillow/basket, and the other set carrying a blue pillow/basket. Well, I've been informed that one of the boys won't be able to come so now I'm down a ring bearer and I don't know anyone else with a boy that age... sort of messes up the way I was going to do things but I guess my question is, should I go with one and just have him carry both pillows? Or should I try to find a replacement? 

Please don't replace the ring bearer. In general, you shouldn't really replace people. You choose people because they are special to you, not because they look a certain way/age/height etc and certainly not to fit a preconceived color scheme. If another little boy was special to you, then you would have chosen them to begin with, kwim?

I can understand how you want things to look a certain way, though.
Can I offer a third alternative? Have one girl carry a blue basket. Have another girl carry a red basket. Have the boy carry a white pillow. This way, you'll still have your red, white and blue color scheme.

All of this!

jaghdr28

It's not a bad idea, but I already have the pillows done.. one in red and one in blue. I just feel bad because the one who now can't come was my FI's great-nephew. He was really looking forward to having him do it, and I get to break the news to him when he gets home from work. It's a bummer. I know the day will still be wonderful. Like I said, I just feel bad. When we learned that there was a possibility he may not be able to come, my FI made the comment. " this wedding just seems like it's falling apart." I tried explaining to him that although we wanted his nephew to do this, that the day was still going to be great and that it wasn't falling apart. Well now that I know he won't be able to come, it just sucks having to break the news. He's more excited about this wedding and helping to plan it than he would ever admit. 

Simply Fated

jaghdr28 said:

It's not a bad idea, but I already have the pillows done.. one in red and one in blue. I just feel bad because the one who now can't come was my FI's great-nephew. He was really looking forward to having him do it, and I get to break the news to him when he gets home from work. It's a bummer. I know the day will still be wonderful. Like I said, I just feel bad. When we learned that there was a possibility he may not be able to come, my FI made the comment. " this wedding just seems like it's falling apart." I tried explaining to him that although we wanted his nephew to do this, that the day was still going to be great and that it wasn't falling apart. Well now that I know he won't be able to come, it just sucks having to break the news. He's more excited about this wedding and helping to plan it than he would ever admit. 

How about this plan.... Choose one of the pillows to use. Then have the flower girls use the other two colors for their baskets. Or you can have both flower girls use white and have the remaining little boy choose which pillow he wants to use. (Two pillows is an overkill). You can use the second pillow as a pretty decoration elsewhere. If, for what ever, his great-nephew's plans change and he can still be in the wedding, you'll have the pillow ready for him.

It's okay if the colors aren't 100% matching, with blue-blue and red-red. As long as the three main colors are represented (red, white and blue), then the guests will get the message.
Even if you use two of the three colors, as you originally planned, then you're golden.

Clearly this whole color scheme drama is overshadowing the real problem... how disappointed your fiance is. Replacing the kid is DEFINITELY not going to help matters. The whole wedding isn't falling apart because one guest, as precious to as he is to your fiance, can't be there. At the end of the day, you will both be married and THAT is what's important, not the guest list. A million more things can still go wrong. At least you two will be married. Perspective is important lol. Good luck!

StefA8

What if you place the pillow your fiance's great nephew was supposed to carry in a special place for the wedding, still print his name in your bulletin, and after the wedding give it to the great nephew? Or depending on the age of the great nephew, have him draw a picture for your fiancé, place it on the pillow, and then place it somewhere special during your ceremony. I'm not saying these are good ideas, just a couple thoughts.

Jen4948

StefA8 said:

What if you place the pillow your fiance's great nephew was supposed to carry in a special place for the wedding, still print his name in your bulletin, and after the wedding give it to the great nephew? Or depending on the age of the great nephew, have him draw a picture for your fiancé, place it on the pillow, and then place it somewhere special during your ceremony. I'm not saying these are good ideas, just a couple thoughts.

If you, OP, want to give the pillow to your FI's great-nephew, that's great, but I wouldn't do the "special placement."  The focus should be on who is there, not who isn't.

jaghdr28

Thanks everyone. You've given me a lot to think about.