Guest list went up

JaniV123

So after tears and a lot of emotions our guest list went from 120 to a solid 141 (143 if we count ourselves) FI mentioned he was cutting people he really wanted there so we had a heart to heart and are willing to make the arrangements. Hiring a coord is officially OFF the table unless someone decides to gift it to us but we will make it work. 

We set deadlines for most Big things and we will be booking our church and venue before March 1st. That makes me happy.

Guest list for me is such an emotional topic for me because family is super important for me. Thinking of having to cut the guest list brought me to tears. We decided to cut back on certain things so as to accommodate the guest increase. 

HisGirlFriday13

Congrats on reaching a decision! The guest list is always, I think, the hardest part, and the most emotionally fraught. It's the one thing you see over and over and over again on the boards that causes the biggest inter-family drama. 

I applaud your idea of cutting elsewhere to make room for the people you really want to have there -- that's the way it should be, so good for you!!

JaniV123

@HisGirlFriday13

Thats what I told my FI, he said he was leaving important people out because he was worried about costs and i just broke down crying that I felt awful about having all my VIP's there and that he was having to keep people off he really wanted. Then we had a heart to heart and reconsidered everything. In the end I am happy that we will both be inviting all the important people that love and care for us and have shown it over and over.

mellyD2014

Congratulations! This is the part that I am also most nervous about. We were budgeting for 225 people... but the guest list is already at 260. Cutting ours down is going to be a terrible process. Our parents are chipping quite a bit in to help us, so the cuts will have to come from our friends and colleagues. Ugh... I'm pushing this off as long as I can! Glad you're already through the hard part.

ShallowSeas

The guest list was hands down the hardest part for us.  We're actually still struggling with it.  We originally only wanted to invite 100 people. When we sat down and made the guest list it was almost 150! We had to cut a lot of people out that we really wanted there because 150 people was not in our budget. We've managed to get it down to 123 I think.  Still over the original 100 but it fits in our budget.  I feel your pain! I wish we could invite everyone we really want there. I'm glad you guys figured something out though!

jenna8984

When we started the guest list I felt so guilty. I am very social and have many friends that I consider really close friends. FI is the opposite- he literally has his one best friend from high school and his one cousin he grew up with and that's it!! Those two are his groomsmen and he doesn't have any more friends to invite. I have 8 family members invited (just my parents, grandparents, siblings). I'm not close with any aunts/ uncles/ cousins. FI is the same way with his family and he has 10 family members invited. Then I have 34 close friends (all couples) invited. I feel terrible that the guests are 80% mine but I keep asking him if there's anyone else he wants, even aunts and cousins that he's not close to and he just keeps saying no. So there's nothing I can do about it but I still feel so weird that it's mostly all my guests and his parents will hardly know anyone.

JaniV123

@mellyD2014

I cut most of my friends because im only super close with the 4 invited. The other friends on my list have become mutual friends and one family that has been very important for in the last few years. The rest of my list is family. 

FI has like 6-7 close friends from HS and 6 friends from his previous job whom he is super close to. the rest is family. 

Most of the invites are family that are trully important for both of us. Cutting down would be heartbreaking. 

mellyD2014

@janiV123

I'm glad you guys were able to figure it out. I only have 6 or so friends that I'm inviting, but my FI has friends from undergrad, grad school, and 2 jobs! Most of them have become my friends now as well, so it's going to be tough. We'll probably end up moving some money around somewhere so we can afford more than the 225, but that opens up a whole other can of worms! Fun fun fun

JaniV123

@mellyD2014

I am sure you will figure it out. I will be sending you thoughts to aid haha

Wow now that I think about it, 225 is a LOT of people haha I couldn't imagine such a big affair. I think 150 is a lot and we are 9 people away FML (ETA: FML in the sense that its a lot of eyes and attention on us, not because of the people per se because they are our nearest and dearest)

jenna8984

JaniV123 said:

@mellyD2014

I cut most of my friends because im only super close with the 4 invited. The other friends on my list have become mutual friends and one family that has been very important for in the last few years. The rest of my list is family. 

FI has like 6-7 close friends from HS and 6 friends from his previous job whom he is super close to. the rest is family. 

Most of the invites are family that are trully important for both of us. Cutting down would be heartbreaking. 

Every holiday FI and I get so depressed because we come from such small, not close knit families. We always dream of the huge Italian gatherings and similar but I guess this is the one and only time it's kind of nice to have practically no family lol

I think you're doing the right thing by making sure they're all included.

mellyD2014

JaniV123 I'd love to consider a smaller number, but just our two families alone total almost 180 people. I didn't think I really knew that many people myself until we started writing it down... I'm sure you guys experienced the same thing! Haha