Vent

Teddy917

Is it really that strange that I'm cool with it?

I just want a guy that is kind, puts my needs first (at least some of the time), loves me (even if just as a good friend), cares about me, enjoys doing things with me, and wants to raise a family with me. He is all of the above and more. Is it really that weird?

Blergbot

It is strange. All I can tell you is that you deserve to have "that feeling" about someone who feels it in return. I had all but given up on finding that in a longterm, meaningful way, but I did. It just took 31 years! But it's totally worth it. Please don't stay just because you're afraid to be alone. You're young and have so much time to find that person (even if it takes you ten years I would seriously discuss this with your counselor. I wish you the best of luck!

KytchynWitche

Teddy, I don't think it's weird or strange at all. This kind of relationship CAN work. I have personally seen it work. But I do think that your current relationship as it stands now is not working for you or for your H.

I have a "cousin" (I think she's actually my dad's cousin, but whatever, our family tree is a little complicated) who is lesbian but wanted children. Her side of the family are a little weird - they were willing to accept her sexual orientation, but would have had a shitfit if she's had a kid out of wedlock. She met a gay man who also wanted children, and also had a family who would accept that he's gay but not accept an illegitimate child. They got married, they have a child together and raise the child together, the live together, they love each other as friends, and they are perfectly happy - and have been for almost as long as I've been alive.

I see no reason why this shouldn't work, even without the question of sexual orientation being brought into it, as long as both people are happy and the relationship is healthy.

Unfortunately, you don't seem to be happy, nor does H, and from your posts it would seem that your relationship isn't as healthy as it could be. Give the therapy thing a go, both couples and individually, but if things don't get better, you need to be prepared to accept that and move on - for your own health and happiness.