Venting...I'm so over planning...

SoontobeMrsNytes

My wedding is May 25, and I'm just tired of it. I don't want to hear other's opinions or suggestions or anything anymore. At least once a week my FMIL either calls me or emails with with another DIY project. I think I just might scream if I get another "Hey! I just had this great idea!" email! None of her suggestions have anything to do with my theme or color scheme. Last week she sent me a picture of her dress that she is just sooo excited about...it's freaking NAVY! Nothing in my wedding is navy! Why is she doing this to me?? UGH!

OK, vent over. Now to go find ways to make navy blend with the rest of my colors...

lindseyanne1

I totally understand!  I'm getting so stressed out I just want to throw in the towel at times.  Just breath, I always just tell people I'm going a different direction if I don't like their idea.  My mom has sent me so many pictures of 'stuff I should do for the wedding'...I have told her no so many times, she understands because I'm picky!  And as far as the navy dress goes, I really don't think thats the end of the world.  My mom is wearing navy and navy is nowhere to be found in my wedding as well.  I'm just fine with it because the style of the dress fits the overall theme of the wedding.  Not everything has to match to the color scheme....you'll make yourself go crazy!

garnetandgold60

I second the understanding! My Grandma (whom I'm very close to and love dearly) has asked when I'm going to ask for their invitation list. Yes, my grandparent's list of people they want to invite! I nearly hit the roof, it was bad. I've also gotten "You're doing [this] wrong" from about 10 people (all of the [things] are not etiquette related, just silly stuff like favors).

At this point don't be afraid to lean on your FI. Mine has a much better temper than I do (I'm damned stubborn and have a ridiculous temper sometimes) and so I just vent and scream into a pillow and sometimes throw (unbreakable) things across a room.

Also, my MOH is my cousin (more like my sister) and I've had a lot of convo's with her about this. She said at the 3/4 month time period she was ready to elope as well, and that it's completely normal...thank goodness because I'm about at the "fuck it!" point!

As to the navy dress...that's one thing I'd go "aarrrrgggghhhh" and then let it go. You're going to have 2-5 pictures max with her. Believe me, I completely understand what you mean about not fitting into color schemes and being driven up the wall...but sometimes it's just nice to get perspective.

pumpkinsandturkeys

I hear ya.

I know that my mum is having a tough time finding a dress, so I told her she can wear whatever she wants, provided it's not black (because my wedding is not a funeral). It's just easier for everyone.

I'm suuuuper tired of married male co-workers acting like you can snap your fingers and plan a wedding. My planning has been pretty stress-free and I haven't really complained about anything so far. But as soon as they ask me how planning is going, one of them always has to say something like, "at least you don't have 400 people" or "I planned my whole wedding in a month." So, planning a wedding for 35 people is no stress or trouble at all because it's not 400 people? Nice try. And you did NOT plan your whole wedding and definitely not in a month. You have a 9 month engagement and your wife's family took care of all of the food and decor. All you did was say yes to the venue (owned by the church, so it was a no-brainer), and pick a pre-packaged video and photo package. Good for you. And don't tell me that after all of that, there aren't really any little details -- all I'm doing right now is "little details."

Sorry, needed to vent haha

ETA: I'm also trying to plan my first fitting and the store's alterations woman just had a close friend pass away. I'm super sensitive to this, but I'm starting to get frustrated because they keep telling me that she'll call me "tomorrow" to schedule my fitting. She never calls. There have been a handful of "tomorrows." If you need time to grieve, I'm okay with that. Just tell me so that I can find someone else, because there is only one day my sister will be in town and available to come to a fitting before the wedding, and that's Feb 22. If I can't get a fitting that day, she won't see my dress until the day of. Ugh.

MrsAitch

Aww, it will get better! Our wedding is May 3, and a few weeks ago I took a break from planning because I was pretty tired of it. The desire to plan comes in waves I think--I either want to plan all the things or nothing at all. Give yourself a break for a week or two and you'll probably feel better about it.

And I feel you on your FMIL. I actually live with my future in laws right now, and while she is so sweet, mine is constantly asking for my opinions about ideas she has for the shower or giving me ideas for the wedding and it's really hard when there are some days I just don't want to think about wedding stuff, or I've already had several people give me their opinions about XYZ, and I really don't need another one. Or some times she will suggest a vendor for something that we have already booked and wants us to compare 500 different quotes for which hair salon will give us the best value and I just don't have the time or energy to deal with it all, and oh look at that, looks like I needed to vent too

And as far as the dress color goes, I wouldn't worry about it. I've actually heard several times that the MOG/MOB aren't supposed to match your colors and that the MOG in particular is supposed to be in beige or a neutral color.

tammym1001

I feel for you. I haven't had anyone say anything about what I'm doing, but it would piss me off they did. Everyone just keeps telling me they can't wait and it's going to be so nice. It's too bad that not everyone's family and friends is like that

firebabe6519

I hear ya! Family drives me nuts too. Just have to breath and take a break from it all once in a while.

SoontobeMrsNytes

My biggest problems with my own family is that I was married before. So, I'm getting alot of Well, I was there for your first wedding. Or Well, but you already had a wedding, why are you doing it again?? These people...

My FI's family, while well intentioned are on the other side of the swing. They want everything so elaborate. We're getting married at the beach, but not on the beach. We found this really great venue that has a deck that kind of goes over the beach and is already tented. So we can have the views without having to walk through sand and we won't be in the Florida sun. I've been pretty firm from the beginning that although this is a beach wedding, I want nothing to do with anything cliche beachy. No seashells, no blue, etc, etc. Then my FMIL not only buys a blue dress, but it is way over elaborate. It's all satin, lace, and sequins! But I guess if she wants to sweat in it, that's her choice. She emailed FI last night because she was sooo concerned I hadn't replied to her last email and she needs to know *right now* if I want to take on her latest DIY project so she can buy everything before the sale is over. I told him to tell her from now on I'm handing all decorating over  to my florist.

All of this stress and I'm in my last semester of school. Maybe FI was right...trying to take on wedding planning and finishing school was a little more than I bargained for.

garnetandgold60

@SoontobeMrsNytes FL bride here too! Where're you getting married? Sorry to be nosy, I'm just curious because I'm in SWFL.

I think it's too funny you're very "anti-beach theme" because I am too! I swore up and down that I refuse to have even one damn starfish make an appearance at my wedding...

Funny thing is my cake baker has said that you can tell who's a Floridian and who's not because all the "SWFL destination brides" was seashells everywhere while people who live here refuse! Idk if you're a Floridian or not but either way, we're all good! Haha!

I think sometimes the best thing to do when planning is to take a step away from it every now and again. I've definitely needed to recently and it's really helped! Also remember that at the end of the day, you'll be married no matter what your FMIL is wearing or if the cake falls over, or the centerpieces were wrong. I hope this helps, and deep breath! We're all almost there!

SoontobeMrsNytes

@Kldc09d, Although I'm not a Florida native, I've lived here 18 years. I live in the Orlando area, but my wedding is in Melbourne Beach.

Thank you all for your kind words. I feel a lot better just knowing I'm not alone!