If you make it through this, thank you! This ended up longer than I intended
I am going through bridesmaids like crazy!
When we were first engaged, we planned a July 2013 wedding, so I chose two bridesmaids. One gave me all kinds of crazy stress...from the cost of her dress (which was BELOW what she said her budget was) and I eventually chose a dress on clearance for less than $40 but she still complained, the color, the time of year. Basically everything. At this same time, my absolute best friend and I had a huge falling out so she was out.
We ended up postponing the wedding to this year because there were loose ends that needed tying up before we could be married. That bridesmaid then decided that we weren't as close as she thought we should be for her to be in my wedding so she bowed out. Fine, whatevs.
Well, as planning progressed, J decided he wanted to change the color scheme from ivory and purple (wisteria) to black and white. Fine, I prefer it and the girls will get extra wear from their dresses. SO...he decided on his groomsmen and landed on SIX. So I came up with 6 girls. One was my oldest friends was going to be a bm but OMG she caused me so much stress...I knew her finances were tight so i offered to buy her dress and pay for 2 nights at the hotel. She disagreed with every single aspect I was planning...flowers, cake flavors, my dress. I eventually just decided to not talk about it to her. Then she made a comment about taking her teeth out at the reception during dinner to eat. I was mortified that would happen. J was at the end of his rope listening to me complaining about her complaining and this was his last straw...she causes you way too much stress, she can't just be happy for you, you need to get rid of her. Well, eventually she ended up in a bad financial situation so I just told her that I knew how bad things were for her right now and I would release her from the financial burden of being in the wedding (I even offered a crap "job" so she could feel included). I knew with her it wouldn't be a friendship ender, so things were fine. Fast forward to last month, I opened my mouth and said something about her husband that she didnt like and we are no longer friends. I'm actually fine about it...we had become different people over the years and it was time.
NOW...my 15 yo daughter has decided she absolutely does not want to be in the wedding. She has been back and forth on it and I finally said fine, I'm not going to fight with you over this anymore, but there will be no more changing your mind. I dont have time for you to keep changing your mind. She just doesnt want to do it...really, it's fine, i'm not going to force her.
I heard from my out of state MOH yesterday and she asked to be given til the end of March bc some things have come up and she just isn't sure she can afford a dress, plane ticket, and a couple nights in a hotel. I understand...I really do...but man, am I disappointed!
I'm trying to stay positive that things will work out. I feel terible bc I just feel like things are falling apart. I have a friend that has offered to stand in my daughters place...and she's so excited to! I know a lot of gals that have offered to be bridesmaid if I need them...they have known J for YEARS and are all good friends of his (nothing on the sly, it's all good...he has a fantastic group of friends). I just feel like the people I wanted most are letting me down. Even though I DO understand the situation with MOH. And I know the sides dont have to be even, so if they end up not being, well, that'll have to be fine.
Trying to just breathe and have faith that things will work out. I know they will, but I just HATE when things don't go according to plan during the planning...I expect things to go "wrong" at the wedding and reception and I'm actually cool with THAT. At the end of the day J and I will be married FINALLY, after 23 years
I need a hot bath...and a night out with my girls