Bachelorette Party Invite on Facebook... Ok or too informal?

StefA8

My MoH told me she's having a friend of ours design some sort of Invite type thing to post on Facebook to invite people to my bachelorette party - any thoughts on this?! Good/bad idea? Has anyone tried this - if so how did it work out? Too informal creating a no-show situation?

vk2204

I have been invited to a few bach parties via FB. I don't think they work too well, honestly. The ones that I was a part of started the event with NO plans and like 4 dates to choose from. It was mostly a "Let's throw out ideas and come up with a plan all together". If it is a smaller group, I would say it would work better - but these were like 30+ people telling what they wanted to do. They also were the parties that charged people to come along. So the price went up when more people dropped out. Not cool. I also learned that a lot of people don't respond so texts and calls had to be made - or they respond automatically and just don't show up. I have had a bad experience with those ones lol.

For mine, my sister created a group for BM's only to come up with a plan and then actual invitations were sent out to the rest of the people.

ei34

I think a FB invite or a group email is fine as long as the host(s) plans the event and just shares the night's details with all invitees, instead of using Facebook as an open forum to throw ideas around.  I planned my sister's BP over the summer with a couple of the BM's and we announced the plans including price per person in a group email.  It's really important to plan things that have a per person cost as opposed to a total cost, that way if there are no-shows the guests that do attend don't get stuck paying more than they'd originally expected.

I've never received a physical invitation to a bach party, that's super formal to me personally.

antoto

Not sure you should even be thinking about this - it's a party thrown for you.  Don't bother getting worked up about it!

StefA8

 My biggest concern is that because people won't have a physical invite (nothing fancy) that everything may get lost in the shuffle and people will forget.  But on the flip side - basically everyone I would want to invite does have a Facebook Account - so potentially I could see it being successful too. The Bach parties I've been invited to - I've received a mailed invite. But those were also several years ago.

Best advice to make this e-Invite work?? The details are pretty well set.

antoto

StefA8 said:

 My biggest concern is that because people won't have a physical invite (nothing fancy) that everything may get lost in the shuffle and people will forget.  But on the flip side - basically everyone I would want to invite does have a Facebook Account - so potentially I could see it being successful too. The Bach parties I've been invited to - I've received a mailed invite. But those were also several years ago.

Best advice to make this e-Invite work?? The details are pretty well set.

My MOHs had my bachelorette invite sent from paperlesspost.com in an email to the ladies.  No one forgot about it and it was free for my MOHs and very, very pretty.

Formal paper invites are no longer common for things like bachelorette parties.  Quit worrying!  This is one of the VERY FEW parts of your wedding which you should not be worrying about - in fact etiquette dictates that you NOT worry about it.  If I was planning a bachelorette party for someone and they told me the invites weren't good enough or they started butting in I would feel very hurt.

Leave it alone.  Don't stress.

lc07

I get invited to facebook events and don't even see the invite. I ignore that stuff because I get a bunch of invites to tupperware parties, political parties, random birthday parties (not close friends) etc. I don't know if I have it filtered or what but I do think you run the risk on facebook of people ignoring the invite. 

I agree with the PP who suggested paperless post. With E-vite, I know you can see who opens it which is kind of stalker-y but whatever at least you know people received the invite.

antoto

lc07 said:

I get invited to facebook events and don't even see the invite. I ignore that stuff because I get a bunch of invites to tupperware parties, political parties, random birthday parties (not close friends) etc. I don't know if I have it filtered or what but I do think you run the risk on facebook of people ignoring the invite. 

I agree with the PP who suggested paperless post. With E-vite, I know you can see who opens it which is kind of stalker-y but whatever at least you know people received the invite.

Would you really ignore an invite for your best friends bachelorette party?  If it was labeled "BEST FRIEND'S BACHELORETTE!"  I can't imagine someone ignoring that.

I was not suggesting she tell her MOH or whoever to use paperless post.  If the person hosting her party was on here I asking I WOULD suggest paperless post.  OP should really not be telling the host how to send out invitations.  That's really rude.

OP,  your bachelorette will be fun - no one will ignore it.  Anyways people have to rsvp, even on facebook, so your host will follow up with anyone who doesn't rsvp.

StefA8

I'm not looking to take over the planning or the invite process - and if they chose to do a paper invite I would not expect them to pay for them - I would request to pay for them myself. I was just curious as to how this process was working for others. Part of my concern with the online invite - is that I want to make sure that my bridesmaids have an opportunity to pitch in their ideas/suggestions for the fact that every single one of my girls lives in a different town than the MoH. I personally feel the bach party should be a joint decision by my girls - not just one person dictating how it's going to be without consulting the other girls first. I know one of them likely will not be able to make it - which I completely understand and I'm not hurt by this - I just don't want anyone to feel left out. Honestly - and I know this will sound snotty - but I wish the MoH would have chosen a different plan for the party instead of deciding to follow her friends band to the location they will be playing that night. Don't worry I will not interject or tell her to change it or tell her I don't like her idea. Now - the reason I feel this way - is because I don't feel like she asked the other girls for their ideas, she just decided this was what was going to happen and it was final.

I'm really not trying to be a bridezilla - I just want everyone (BMs) included in this process.

 

antoto

StefA8 said:

I'm not looking to take over the planning or the invite process - and if they chose to do a paper invite I would not expect them to pay for them - I would request to pay for them myself. I was just curious as to how this process was working for others. Part of my concern with the online invite - is that I want to make sure that my bridesmaids have an opportunity to pitch in their ideas/suggestions for the fact that every single one of my girls lives in a different town than the MoH. I personally feel the bach party should be a joint decision by my girls - not just one person dictating how it's going to be without consulting the other girls first. I know one of them likely will not be able to make it - which I completely understand and I'm not hurt by this - I just don't want anyone to feel left out. Honestly - and I know this will sound snotty - but I wish the MoH would have chosen a different plan for the party instead of deciding to follow her friends band to the location they will be playing that night. Don't worry I will not interject or tell her to change it or tell her I don't like her idea. Now - the reason I feel this way - is because I don't feel like she asked the other girls for their ideas, she just decided this was what was going to happen and it was final.

I'm really not trying to be a bridezilla - I just want everyone (BMs) included in this process.

 

First bolded - no you would not.  You do not pay for the invitations for an event that you are not hosting.  You don't request anything.

Second bolded - how on Earth would paper invites change how people contribute to ideas?

You have no control over this event.  You need to just trust your friend that she will do whatever she can to make this an awesome bachelorette. Your MOH is not even required to hold this event for you, she is doing it purely because she wants to do something FOR you.  If someone gave you a present that wasn't EXACTLY what you wanted you wouldn't start suggesting that they get your something slightly different.  You smile and say thank you.  This is exactly the same thing.

StefA8

I know that the bach party doesn't have to happen - that this is something they are choosing to do for me and I'm grateful and appreciative - I did not expect it. I also don't like the idea of them paying for something that involves me - I have a hard time having people do things for me.

What I meant with including other BM's input related to the invite - is what the invite will entail basically the party itself - not necessarily the invite.

Again, I know I have no control over the event or how it's planned or who is deciding on things - I would like to think that all the girls had a chance to provide some feedback/input to the overall plan.

tammym1001

My sister is throwing my shower and bach party. She is sending paper invites for both. She didn't ask any of my other BM's for input, but she's also not asking them to contribute anything to the parties or to do anything for them. She is doing it herself because that is how she wanted it. It's really up to the person who is hosting your party to plan it the way they want. Other than getting some input on dates that work for you and a guest list, they don't have to get input from anyone else. If you said ok to her planning your bach party then you need to just let her plan it.

lc07

antoto said:

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lc07 said:

I get invited to facebook events and don't even see the invite. I ignore that stuff because I get a bunch of invites to tupperware parties, political parties, random birthday parties (not close friends) etc. I don't know if I have it filtered or what but I do think you run the risk on facebook of people ignoring the invite. 

I agree with the PP who suggested paperless post. With E-vite, I know you can see who opens it which is kind of stalker-y but whatever at least you know people received the invite.

Would you really ignore an invite for your best friends bachelorette party?  If it was labeled "BEST FRIEND'S BACHELORETTE!"  I can't imagine someone ignoring that.

I was not suggesting she tell her MOH or whoever to use paperless post.  If the person hosting her party was on here I asking I WOULD suggest paperless post.  OP should really not be telling the host how to send out invitations.  That's really rude.

OP,  your bachelorette will be fun - no one will ignore it.  Anyways people have to rsvp, even on facebook, so your host will follow up with anyone who doesn't rsvp.

@antoto - Certainly not. I made a poor choice in wording; My apologies. I don't think I am notified properly of invites and events that I receive. Maybe it's my settings. But I've missed a lot of facebook invitations in the past or seen them last minute. I am guessing it's because I ignore the ones inviting me to "events" that aren't "events" like "vote for me!" event pages. I'm guessing Facebook must not think events are important to me.

StefA8

Lol I completely understand missing the important items because a person tends to get a lot of not as important messages like that!