Registry Request by the Florist

StefA8

Has anyone else had their florist request that the bride and groom register at the florist's store? Is this normal? My fiance and I had already decided on where we were going to register prior to meeting with the florist. We have 3 different registries (2 department stores and a travel agency) and feel like this is more than enough registries. Quite frankly both my fiance and I were a little offended when she requested this since we will already be spending money in her store for flowers and feel that it was tacky on her part.

Are we wrong for being offended by this? Is this normal for florists to make this kind of a request?

Maggie0829

StefA8 said:

Has anyone else had their florist request that the bride and groom register at the florist's store? Is this normal? My fiance and I had already decided on where we were going to register prior to meeting with the florist. We have 3 different registries (2 department stores and a travel agency) and feel like this is more than enough registries. Quite frankly both my fiance and I were a little offended when she requested this since we will already be spending money in her store for flowers and feel that it was tacky on her part.

Are we wrong for being offended by this? Is this normal for florists to make this kind of a request?

I agree that it was tacky on her part.  She is a business woman who is trying to make money so it makes sense why she did it but I still don't like it.

And this is the first I have ever heard that a florist was able to set-up a registry.

What is on the travel agency registry?  I am just hoping that it isn't a crap honeymoon registry but a registry where people can by excursions through your travel agent who will then book that outing on your guests behalf.

JennyColada

I think that if she were to bring it up as an OPTION then that would be fine, but for her to be like "oh you should register here!" is definitely tacky and I'd be offended (I mean, plus that's awkward, what if you don't want your guests to buy you anything from her store?). What does she even sell? Is it just a bunch of flowers and vases and tacky nicknacks and decorations? No thank you!

StefA8

Maggie0829 said:

StefA8 said:

Has anyone else had their florist request that the bride and groom register at the florist's store? Is this normal? My fiance and I had already decided on where we were going to register prior to meeting with the florist. We have 3 different registries (2 department stores and a travel agency) and feel like this is more than enough registries. Quite frankly both my fiance and I were a little offended when she requested this since we will already be spending money in her store for flowers and feel that it was tacky on her part.

Are we wrong for being offended by this? Is this normal for florists to make this kind of a request?

I agree that it was tacky on her part.  She is a business woman who is trying to make money so it makes sense why she did it but I still don't like it.

And this is the first I have ever heard that a florist was able to set-up a registry.

What is on the travel agency registry?  I am just hoping that it isn't a crap honeymoon registry but a registry where people can by excursions through your travel agent who will then book that outing on your guests behalf.

What do you mean by the "crap honeymoon registry"? We have not set this one up yet - as we haven't had time to meet with a travel agent.

The florist has a store in which she sells home decorations. I like her things - that's not the problem - I just don't have a desire to add a 4th registry to my list - nor do we have the room for a lot of things.

MyNameIsNot

As if honeymoon registries weren't bad enough, now you register for the actual wedding vendors?  Disgusting.  This is awful.  

Your florist doesn't care if you embarrass yourself with something like this, but I would honestly question her level of taste to even bring this up.  

StefA8

Is everyone seriously against honeymoon registries? My fiance and I chose to go that route because we do not need/nor do we want much of anything. We figured a honeymoon registry would be much more feasable for us for that reason. We were told to register at a couple of stores as well because of bridal showers - which I get. And I do not plan to include registry info in my invites.

 

I would have felt less offended by this if she had said, "Just so you know, we do have the ability to create gift registries if you would be interested in doing so." But to say it the way she did, "I would like you to register here since you are getting married here in town." - Who says that?

JennyColada

The main beef that people have with HM registries seems to be twofold:

1, you're basically asking for cash. That's pretty tacky.

2, it's really just a scam. Your guests think they're buying some fancy dinner or fun outing, but then the HM registry turns around and gives you a check minus processing fees. So it's just a big ol' fat lie to your guests.

There seems to be less issue with ACTUAL HM registries (like set up through some travel agents) in which your guests are ACTUALLY paying for a hotel room or a dive excursion or whatever.

JennyColada

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/281647/thinking-of-a-honeymoon-registry/p1

StefA8

Jennycolada said:

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/281647/thinking-of-a-honeymoon-registry/p1

I guess when friends/family have asked us about registries, we've told them that we will be registering with a travel agency and everyone has found it to be a great idea. I don't expect everyone to like it, and that's ok, they don't have to contribute to it, nor do we expect them to. We also don't expect anyone to buy us gifts. If we don't receive anything, it would be fine with both of us. We want our friends and family at the wedding to help us celebrate.

Maggie0829

@StefA8 - what I mean about crap honeymoon registry is going through a website such as honeyfund or the like where your guests are decieved into thinking that they are actually buying you a romantic dinner for 2 on the beach but rather the site is just cutting you a check, minus a service charge and not booking anything.

But if you are going through a travel agent where the full amount of money that the guest is gifting is put towards an actual excursion that is then booked courtesy of your travel agent then that is fine.

It is the whole guests thinking they got you something but actually didn't and you don't receive the full amount that they wanted to give you thing.

StefA8

Maggie0829 said:

@StefA8 - what I mean about crap honeymoon registry is going through a website such as honeyfund or the like where your guests are decieved into thinking that they are actually buying you a romantic dinner for 2 on the beach but rather the site is just cutting you a check, minus a service charge and not booking anything.

But if you are going through a travel agent where the full amount of money that the guest is gifting is put towards an actual excursion that is then booked courtesy of your travel agent then that is fine.

It is the whole guests thinking they got you something but actually didn't and you don't receive the full amount that they wanted to give you thing.

Thank you for clarifying - that completely makes sense! I did not realize that websites pulled this - but am not real surprised by this. That totally sucks that they do that. Makes me glad we are going to go through an agent!

RebeccaB88

I think if my florist suggested doing that, I'd find a new florist.  Rude, entitled, and totally unprofessional (on her part, not yours).

I'm also not a fan of a travel registry, but you're doing it the least inappropriate way possible, so I think it's OK.

MyNameIsNot

StefA8 said:

Maggie0829 said:

@StefA8 - what I mean about crap honeymoon registry is going through a website such as honeyfund or the like where your guests are decieved into thinking that they are actually buying you a romantic dinner for 2 on the beach but rather the site is just cutting you a check, minus a service charge and not booking anything.

But if you are going through a travel agent where the full amount of money that the guest is gifting is put towards an actual excursion that is then booked courtesy of your travel agent then that is fine.

It is the whole guests thinking they got you something but actually didn't and you don't receive the full amount that they wanted to give you thing.

Thank you for clarifying - that completely makes sense! I did not realize that websites pulled this - but am not real surprised by this. That totally sucks that they do that. Makes me glad we are going to go through an agent!

If you do go through a travel agent, make sure your registry is limited to things guests can actually buy, like a snorkeling trip or breakfast in bed.  

Registering for $100 toward your flights or hotel is inappropriate.  

hikebikebemerry

I'm really curious as to WHAT you would even be registering for?  I do know someone who had just bought a house with her partner, so the registered for certain trees that they wanted to plant in their backyard.

bethangel2332

MyNameIsNot

BethChampagne21 said:

Okay I have held my tongue on the many bashing of honeymoon registries, as far as I have seen and researched many hours into there are two types.

 1.) The gimmick ones like many point out, your guest think they just got you a romantic dinner at sunset ext. That charges fees and outrage prices. These I truly despise and feel bad for many guest that are tricked. 

2.) A honeymoon register you set through a travel agency. Most time you pick out your destination( hotel and flight included in final price about 90% of the time) you get your price. Now from what I have seen from the local agencies from Maine this price is set and locked guest can choose to donate money to the final price, each gift is then deducted from the price and you receive a bill 2 weeks before your wedding. 

This second option I have no issue with because as long as you plan and budget for your honeymoon you know you are on the line for that final booked price. 

As long for the issue with it being tacky because "you are asking for money", I'm sorry but that excuse holds no ground for me. Most couple register for something whether for home, fun, or even charity. No one is obligated to give anything at a wedding. I'm sick of the brides out there that think they are entitled to big elaborate gifts or get offended when they only receive well wishes and "empty" cards. 

 

Registering for money is always inappropriate.  It doesn't matter if it is through a travel agency, a scam website, or a charity.  Guests know they can give you money.  Registries are for people who want to give a physical gift.  

I'm sorry if you don't "get" that, but it's true.  

bethangel2332

Okay, fine guest can give the couple money I know this. A registrey give ideas as I have been to the wedding that didn't have any, and guess what people gave gifts they thought would be great for the couple and I would give a guess 95% was returned. And then people got upset at the couple because they weren't great-full for them.

Not matter what people will have both opinions, for couple who are very well established like me and my better half that are going on 12 years of being together, we don't need the basics or towels with our names or initials. And personally I would never ask for cash, but honestly do I want to explain 100+ times that we just want your company, which should be implied if we invited you. I know people will give money but other want to get a physical gift or something the couple wants, most want to go on a honeymoon so why not give them(the guest) the option to help the couple. 

bethangel2332

As for the original poster if she had mentioned the option to register as a passing thought or included in details while you were looking at them, it wouldn't have really irked me, but insisting that you register I believe over steps boundaries.

jessicabessica

Maggie0829 said:

@StefA8 - what I mean about crap honeymoon registry is going through a website such as honeyfund or the like where your guests are decieved into thinking that they are actually buying you a romantic dinner for 2 on the beach but rather the site is just cutting you a check, minus a service charge and not booking anything.

But if you are going through a travel agent where the full amount of money that the guest is gifting is put towards an actual excursion that is then booked courtesy of your travel agent then that is fine.

It is the whole guests thinking they got you something but actually didn't and you don't receive the full amount that they wanted to give you thing.

Well, not entirely.  Part of the problem, IMO, with honeymoon registries is the registering for cash part.  As in, we would like 5 gifts of $75 for this fancy dinner, 2 gifts of $100 for horseback riding, etc.  It's not clear that registering through a travel agent solves that.

Kauris

I got an email one day for a Photo booth company that had an option to send to your guests to solicit them to help pay for it. Yeah, you just got crossed off my list of potential vendors.

Jen4948

bethangel2332 said:

Okay, fine guest can give the couple money I know this. A registrey give ideas as I have been to the wedding that didn't have any, and guess what people gave gifts they thought would be great for the couple and I would give a guess 95% was returned. And then people got upset at the couple because they weren't great-full for them.

Not matter what people will have both opinions, for couple who are very well established like me and my better half that are going on 12 years of being together, we don't need the basics or towels with our names or initials. And personally I would never ask for cash, but honestly do I want to explain 100+ times that we just want your company, which should be implied if we invited you. I know people will give money but other want to get a physical gift or something the couple wants, most want to go on a honeymoon so why not give them(the guest) the option to help the couple. 

Because it's not appropriate for the couple to expect their guests to finance their honeymoon.

And regardless of the form of the request, whether it is direct, through a registry, or whatever, requesting cash as a gift is never appropriate, regardless of how the couple plan to spend it, and whether you get it or not.  You don't need to explain your view 100 times or more.  That is just how etiquette is.