Not Engaged Yet

Innocent Daydreaming

BF and I are the absolute best friends. No one knows each of us better then the other.  We live together and have talked about getting married quite a bit but both know that waiting until I am out of college, and have lead each other around the world is the best choice and we will wait!  (I phrase it like that because he has been to Europe and I grew up in Asia we just can't wait to show each other and explore new places together!)  

At the same time my ultimate guilty pleasure is fantasizing about marriage. Since we are already living together, its not like marriage life will be too much different. I have to watch my tongue and not call him H sometimes lol. 
The second part of my guilty pleasure is scanning through pages and pages of the ideal wedding dresses, wedding rings, wedding songs (although i've made up my mind that I will walk to Pachabel's Cannon in D because it makes me feel fuzzy inside) and other wedding related shenanigans! I am enjoying the present and content but visions of fit -n-flare lace dresses and sapphire solitaire rings dance in my head. ;)  

My question to all is, how much time did you spend day dreaming of what the perfect proposal, wedding day, and marriage would be like and if you did do any "rough sketch" planning before the engagement started, how detailed did you get??  I know someone who bought her own engagement right before she found her man :p  
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Re: Innocent Daydreaming

  • CLoGreenEyesCLoGreenEyes
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
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    edited February 2014

    Hi and welcome to NEY!

    You'll find around here that the attitude is NOT to spend much time at all thinking about a future wedding if you are not engaged. The reasoning behind this is that 1) it puts pressure on you and your BF to hurry up and get to a point in life that you're just not at yet, and 2) you rob yourselves of the enjoyment of the present time in your relationship, as well as the authentic enjoyment of your engagement and wedding in the future. The ladies around here prefer to appreciate life as it is right now and concentrate on building their relationships and themselves, and let the wedding planning happen when both people are ready and agree to get engaged.

    ETA: Andplusalso, pre-planning is not practical, IMO. When I got wedding fever during my previous relationship, I kept a little folder of wedding-related things I saw that I liked with the thought that maybe I'll use it someday. I went back and looked at it a few months ago and was like, "...I had HORRIBLE taste back then!" Haha, so while a little idle browsing is not necessarily a horrible thing every once in a while, it doesn't puts you "ahead" in any way because you never know what sorts of things your future FI will want, what your families will want, what your budget will allow, etc. until you are engaged and actively planning.

    Tell us a little bit about yourself! What are you in school for? What was it like growing up in Asia?

    labro[Deleted User]KeptInStitches
  • Similar thoughts to Swazzle.  I'm glad I didn't plan any of my wedding beforehand because...it's OUR wedding.  And it's really important to me (and FI) that FI has an input.  I mean, he told me my bouquet was awesome last night.  My FI is awesome and apparently likely bouquets :)

    I was completely and totally surprised by my proposal and I think that made it even better.  Sure, we had been dating for like five years, so everyone EXPECTED it eventually, but I didn't know it was coming then, and it was perfect.

    What's your favorite recipe?

    Do you have snow by you?

    What's your favorite book/craft?

    Do you like mac n cheese?  I really want some.  Now.  On pizza.
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
    [Deleted User]mbross3
  • To be honest, I put a lot of stuff in folders (that I still have on my bookmarks bar) and looked up venue prices that I liked. It was fun at first, and then when I really looked at the financial situation of how expensive a wedding could be, I freaked out. The only positive that came out of that freak out while we were dating was that we were able to have a frank conversation about finances. 

    But I would have much rather that conversation came out of wedding stress that wasn't even necessary!

    It sounds like you guys have a lot of traveling you want to do, which is so exciting! Why don't you spend your day dream time on your trips? It's so great to make lists of the things you want to show him or the stuff you'd like to see and all the places you want to go together. And those experiences will last longer and be more fun than planning a wedding anyways. 

    So, where is the best place you've ever gone? Best thing you've done?
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    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
    CLoGreenEyesbuddysmom80
  • BF and I are the absolute best friends. No one knows each of us better then the other.  We live together and have talked about getting married quite a bit but both know that waiting until I am out of college, and have lead each other around the world is the best choice and we will wait!  (I phrase it like that because he has been to Europe and I grew up in Asia we just can't wait to show each other and explore new places together!)  

    At the same time my ultimate guilty pleasure is fantasizing about marriage. Since we are already living together, its not like marriage life will be too much different. I have to watch my tongue and not call him H sometimes lol. 
    The second part of my guilty pleasure is scanning through pages and pages of the ideal wedding dresses, wedding rings, wedding songs (although i've made up my mind that I will walk to Pachabel's Cannon in D because it makes me feel fuzzy inside) and other wedding related shenanigans! I am enjoying the present and content but visions of fit -n-flare lace dresses and sapphire solitaire rings dance in my head. ;)  

    My question to all is, how much time did you spend day dreaming of what the perfect proposal, wedding day, and marriage would be like and if you did do any "rough sketch" planning before the engagement started, how detailed did you get??  I know someone who bought her own engagement right before she found her man :p  
    I never dreamed of the perfect proposal. I never planned on what I wanted my proposal to be (my proposal was pretty damn awesome too). I never dreamed about my wedding day in the sense of "my FI and I will do this, and we'll do that" when I was a kid, I dreamed of a pretty wedding, but the direction I'm in is the exact opposite of what I wanted when I was younger. That's because it's two people planning a wedding, not just one. I never did any rough sketch planning because I wanted FI's input. I also thought I was going to walk down the aisle to Canon in D but now that it's our wedding and not MY wedding, we threw that out the window.

    Slow your roll, enjoy your time now as BF and GF. Like PP's said you have plenty of time to plan a wedding when you're engaged. I basically had my whole wedding planned in a month and a half and it's not until December, so we're literally sitting around and doing nothing WR except enjoying our time together.

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    Swazzle[Deleted User]GoldenPenguin
  • SnickrsgirlSnickrsgirl
    10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited February 2014
    I completely agree with you all and understand. I suppose i'm just getting mushy with Valentine's sprit. Rereading my post I see that I may come across a little naive and immature thinking but I really aren't putting any serious thought in the whole planning my future wedding thing besides book marking some things that are really pretty and i might like to look at when the time is right. I just know that for some girls its more then just a fleeting daydream and really get to the nitty gritty of the wedding and forget about the engagement except for the pretty e ring and forget to really think about their man! I guess the point of the post was to see what the range was on how much thought went in to all that before the question was popped for different individuals. I am half Chinese so I think part of my (mother's) family's mentality was that you really shouldn't live with a guy unless you have intentions of marrying him in the somewhat near future. For the most part I agree but its not an excuse that i'm giving my bf to ask early lol.  Its just hard not to think about it when family brings it up. 

    I do get what you mean about living in the moment and really enjoying what we have now.  I am completely content with where we are right presently. 

    I am close to completing my BA in Early Education. BF has his own business buying, and selling antiques online and does well at it.  I was born in Singapore and spent my childhood (in private school) and teenage years (home schooled) sailing up the coast of the malaysian peninsula and  eventually settling in Thailand for High school.  I met my bf in alaska when I came here for one semester in middle school and had the biggest crush on him all semester. We managed to stay in touch and been friends ever since.  Growing up in asia was a blessing because it gave me a different experiences that many children in america didn't have.  I suppose the biggest difference is the different way people see things and approach life in a different angle.  I used to say that in america Liberty, Freedom, and Justice were the 3 most important core values instilled in all americans but over there, in my experience it was Respect, Family and Obedience. 

    Not better, not worse, just different :) 
  • Hummingbird125Hummingbird125 New York
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
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    Agree with all the PP. TBH, I did imagine my "perfect proposal" during idle moments throughout the past few months, but only because then-BF had asked me about rings and I knew it was coming soon. However, I didn't do any pre-planning whatsoever. Once you're engaged, there will be PLENTY of time to plan things with your FI.

    You're very young and lucky to be in a strong relationship you see lasting forever - my advice is to continue growing your relationship and enjoy where you're at right now. Once you're married, you're (ideally) going to be married for the rest of your life! There is no need to rush :-)
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  • I never had any plans prior to engagement. Sure, I'd notice venues or things at weddings that I did not want..but I think a lot of people may do that. Definitely save the planning for when you are engaged. For right now you should enjoy your relationship and maybe talk about taking a trip somewhere with your SO!


  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
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    I don't spend a lot of time thinking about wedding stuff. I'm really busy with school and work so I can't even imagine having time to do BSC pre-planning. But I've definitely thought about some things and BF and I have had fun some-day when we get married wouldn't this be fun conversations.

    Your relationship is new (even though you were friends before, friends is not at all the same as a romantic relationship) and it sounds like are you planning on waiting awhile before you get married which I think is a good idea. Don't get too caught up in day-dreaming about the future. Besides, your tastes will change as years go by anyway.


  • Absolutely, I am an amazing "travel agent" (I just don't get paid) lol - definitely put all of my excitement about our relationship into planning awesome vacations for us (at a budget, mostly!)

    What does that mean?  Our post-wedding mini-moon road trip is going to be AWESOME.  And our honeymoon when we get to it?  Yea, it's gonna be amazing.  <--note to future brides: If the FI gets a new job in the middle of wedding planning, you will not have enough vacation time to go on a honeymoon, SO plan accordingly.  (in retrospect, though, this new job and new location are amazing!  and I'm closer to @ollie08!)
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • i think "planning" isn't an accurate word for me because i really don't do any more planning then jolting down ideas of what i might like in the future which is what little girls dream of anyway.  I definitely don't want to do anything without most-likely-future-FI's input but even now hell toss out ideas that he might like when the time does come.  And when i show him the stuff i do jolt down its casual, i ask for his input and he gives it.  Not much more then i was doing since i was a wee lil girl :p but yes i agree that your taste does change over the years and omg nothing should be carved in stone until at least the engagement! 

    Thanks for all the responses though! Its been fun reading what everyone has to say. 

    What's your favorite recipe? lamb chops, oven baked seasoned with rosemary, thyme and oragano.

    Do you have snow by you?  Oh yea its very cold here

    What's your favorite book/craft? watercolour painting :)

    Do you like mac n cheese?  I really want some.  Now.  On pizza  Occationally!! haha!
  • ShallowSeasShallowSeas Indianapolis, IN
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited February 2014
    Once I knew he had the ring (he waited 2 months after he bought the ring to propose), if I saw something I liked that was wedding related, I saved it, kind of like what @audrewuh was talking about.  I didn't plan or envision a wedding. It was more like, "Oh that's cute, I don't want to forget that when the time comes". I also looked at a few venue around here to get an idea of what he would be paying since I am not originally from this city but that was boring to me so it didn't last long. I think I looked at one venue before I was engaged and was like NOPE.  FI (then BF) was very much into pre-planning even before he bought the ring which i thought was weird and I was like, "no way...you wanna get married then you gotta propose".

    Focus on building your relationship even more before you get engaged. Save all the exciting stuff about planning a wedding for you and your BF to do together once you're engaged. Its 10x more special when the FI's are involved :)
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  • O wow, I guess i didn't emphasize this because its a wedding website and not a traveling one but we do have MANY trips that are actually planed much sooner and much more serious and impending then any wedding of mine is going to be yet! The earliest one, spring break in hawaii. Next winter, sailing in Thailand. SO EXCITED!!  Most of my thoughts do go towards school, I stay busy enough with that XD and LoVE IT!! 
  • @snickrsgirl which island will you be visiting in Hawaii? My BFF lived there for two years and I spent two weeks with her after I finished my undergrad. One of the best vacations ever!
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    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
  • phiraphira Bahstin
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    Speaking from experience (as someone who had previously done day-dreaming about weddings, and as someone who began planning an engagement and a wedding with a partner):

    - you are YOUNG and your relationship is NEW. This isn't a dig at you or your relationship. It's so easy to fall into day-dreams when you're young and in a new relationship. I know you've known your boyfriend for a long time, but it's very different being in a relationship with someone.

    - from everything I've been told, being married is different than living together. It's not a night-and-day difference, but your attitude of, "We live together and it's great so being married will be easy!" is naive at best. See the first point: You're living together BUT you're also really young and in a new relationship (also whoa why are you living together already).

    - @buddysmom80 said something I was about to say, too. For a lot of couples, planning doesn't take very long. I've got 9 months to go, and I'm running out of stuff I can plan right now (and you'll find you won't WANT to plan everything Right Away). My cousin has 5 months before her wedding and she was complaining to me that she's got maybe 4 things left on her list and they're almost all inconsequential.

    - planning a wedding with a partner is ENTIRELY different from daydreaming about a wedding. Holy crap. Do you know how many wedding ideas I had for my Perfect Wedding that my partner nixed almost immediately after I finished voicing them? How many of HIS ideas I put the kibosh on before he could describe them further? At the beginning of our engagement, I started pinning cakes I liked; he likes ZERO OF THEM. I hate all of the ketubot he thinks look nice. He said no to my first dance song. I've said no to his recessional song. He's insisting on a wedding party. I'm insisting on chair lifting. Our wedding isn't looking anything like I ever would have imagined when I was 21 years old. It's not a bad thing at all, but it means that your years of pining over the perfect centerpieces will likely be entirely in vain.

    - tastes change. Oh my GOD they do. And you might be entirely surprised at what you like and don't like when real planning happens. I insisted I would walk myself down the aisle; now my mom's escorting me. I spent hours pinning satin fit-and-flare bridesmaids dresses with no embellishments, and now I have a sequiny sparkly tulle full A-line in my closet. A non-wedding example: My GORGEOUS prom dress still fits me ... and I HATE it now! I think it looks amazing on 18-year-old me when I look at photos, but oh my god, I feel embarrassed when I put it on 10 years later.

    My advice:

    Slow the hell down. There is no rush to be married, even when it feels like there's always someone who's already married. I remember in college feeling jealous that my friend was engaged ... except that she never married the guy and holy shit I was 22, why did I want to be married so badly? I'm 27 now and I'm the only one of my high school friends or college friends who's engaged (or even married). There is no rush.

    If you're doing all this planning without your partner, it's probably not a good idea. I don't think you should be doing all this planning together, since you are not engaged. But there's a difference between secretly going, "HERE'S OUR WEDDING!" on Pinterest, and being able to mention things like, "I'd like to get married in the next few years," or, "If we got married, would you want to have a big wedding?"

    Spend less time daydreaming about it. The ladies here will say this again and again: enjoy your relationship as is and devote your mental energy to something else. Spend that time doing something other than planning: read a book, WRITE a book, join a club, just something else, not wedding or relationship-related.

    If you MUST plan, keep it small and simple. This is where Pinterest secret boards honestly come in handy. If you're going to plan like this, then don't spend hours browsing dresses. Just pin a few onto a secret wedding board so you can get the urge out. It's like nicotine gum for wedding planning.

    Because honestly, you shouldn't spend more time daydream-planning than you would actually-planning. When we plan, we do it in short bursts: I'll spend 10 minutes making phone calls during my lunch. He'll send out emails to our vendors when he has free time one morning at work. I'll make some paper flowers while I'm waiting for dinner to cook. So just pin the idea and go do something else.
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  • You and your BF sound like very cool people with your heads in the right place. :)  You guys will be fine. There is nothing WRONG per se with seeing something WR and filing it away for your serious consideration later on, and there's nothing wrong with those fun conversations between a couple when they're thinking about the future. But I agree with PP's, it sounds like y'all have your hands full with school, a business, and the goal of traveling, so there's plenty to keep you busy without any serious wedding stuff right now. If you feel yourself getting too involved, just concentrate on the rest of your life for a while - and we're always around to distract you if needed.

    What's on your list of places to go in the world? What tips do you have for the highly unseasoned traveler? (I ask for selfish reasons, lol - my family never traveled more than a few hours outside of our home state when I was younger and ex-BF wasn't big on it either. I am very interested in traveling but have zero idea of how to go about it, outside of a couple brief study-abroad experiences in college.)

  • @TwoDimes I was lucky that BFF lived there, so all I had to do was pay for my flight to and from and a small handful of excursions. I spent a total of $1200 on two weeks. I will never ever have that kind of opportunity again! 
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    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
    [Deleted User]
  • @andrewuh I am so jealous of your Hawaii trip :)  Just priced a trip out there and $1200 was going to be hard to stay under :)
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • SnickrsgirlSnickrsgirl
    10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited February 2014

    phira said:
    Speaking from experience (as someone who had previously done day-dreaming about weddings, and as someone who began planning an engagement and a wedding with a partner):

    - you are YOUNG and your relationship is NEW. This isn't a dig at you or your relationship. It's so easy to fall into day-dreams when you're young and in a new relationship. I know you've known your boyfriend for a long time, but it's very different being in a relationship with someone.

    - from everything I've been told, being married is different than living together. It's not a night-and-day difference, but your attitude of, "We live together and it's great so being married will be easy!" is naive at best. See the first point: You're living together BUT you're also really young and in a new relationship (also whoa why are you living together already).

    - @buddysmom80 said something I was about to say, too. For a lot of couples, planning doesn't take very long. I've got 9 months to go, and I'm running out of stuff I can plan right now (and you'll find you won't WANT to plan everything Right Away). My cousin has 5 months before her wedding and she was complaining to me that she's got maybe 4 things left on her list and they're almost all inconsequential.

    - planning a wedding with a partner is ENTIRELY different from daydreaming about a wedding. Holy crap. Do you know how many wedding ideas I had for my Perfect Wedding that my partner nixed almost immediately after I finished voicing them? How many of HIS ideas I put the kibosh on before he could describe them further? At the beginning of our engagement, I started pinning cakes I liked; he likes ZERO OF THEM. I hate all of the ketubot he thinks look nice. He said no to my first dance song. I've said no to his recessional song. He's insisting on a wedding party. I'm insisting on chair lifting. Our wedding isn't looking anything like I ever would have imagined when I was 21 years old. It's not a bad thing at all, but it means that your years of pining over the perfect centerpieces will likely be entirely in vain.

    - tastes change. Oh my GOD they do. And you might be entirely surprised at what you like and don't like when real planning happens. I insisted I would walk myself down the aisle; now my mom's escorting me. I spent hours pinning satin fit-and-flare bridesmaids dresses with no embellishments, and now I have a sequiny sparkly tulle full A-line in my closet. A non-wedding example: My GORGEOUS prom dress still fits me ... and I HATE it now! I think it looks amazing on 18-year-old me when I look at photos, but oh my god, I feel embarrassed when I put it on 10 years later.

    My advice:

    Slow the hell down. There is no rush to be married, even when it feels like there's always someone who's already married. I remember in college feeling jealous that my friend was engaged ... except that she never married the guy and holy shit I was 22, why did I want to be married so badly? I'm 27 now and I'm the only one of my high school friends or college friends who's engaged (or even married). There is no rush.

    If you're doing all this planning without your partner, it's probably not a good idea. I don't think you should be doing all this planning together, since you are not engaged. But there's a difference between secretly going, "HERE'S OUR WEDDING!" on Pinterest, and being able to mention things like, "I'd like to get married in the next few years," or, "If we got married, would you want to have a big wedding?"

    Spend less time daydreaming about it. The ladies here will say this again and again: enjoy your relationship as is and devote your mental energy to something else. Spend that time doing something other than planning: read a book, WRITE a book, join a club, just something else, not wedding or relationship-related.

    If you MUST plan, keep it small and simple. This is where Pinterest secret boards honestly come in handy. If you're going to plan like this, then don't spend hours browsing dresses. Just pin a few onto a secret wedding board so you can get the urge out. It's like nicotine gum for wedding planning.

    Because honestly, you shouldn't spend more time daydream-planning than you would actually-planning. When we plan, we do it in short bursts: I'll spend 10 minutes making phone calls during my lunch. He'll send out emails to our vendors when he has free time one morning at work. I'll make some paper flowers while I'm waiting for dinner to cook. So just pin the idea and go do something else.
    wow, ok, I really appreciate the time you've put in to' your long response.  I dont know how much of what I said you read because I did correct myself and mentioned that "planning" is far to serious a word for what i'm doing right now.  Mearly jolting down ideas. I know i'm young and WE are new and thats why i have recognized that I don't want to be married this year, or the next.. I have said that school and traveling come FIRST.  Spend less time daydreaming? In reality, This whole daydreaming thing is a very small percentage of a very busy life that strengthens me as an individual and helps us grow as a couple.  We still have ALOT to Learn and ALOT to do. 

     We live together because I don't have much family in the country I can rely on while i'm going to school and when I was living on my own he was spending most his nights with me anyway. Also it was something my mother suggested because being in a country she's not familiar with, she feels safer if i lived with a boy she knew and trusted.  Also, his family is the closest thing I have to family that isn't a 20 hour jet flight away. What "planing" I have done is kept short and simple and i have no problem if the center piece i favorite is in vain becuse it's all in good fun for now.  In addition, most of what I have shown him, hes loved, doesnt mean its a sign for the heavens im getting hitched soon it means hes on the same page I am in all ways.  He was the one to first say that his favorite fishing spot would be his first choice for the scene to take engagement pictures and I agree. :) 
    audrewuh said:
    @snickrsgirl which island will you be visiting in Hawaii? My BFF lived there for two years and I spent two weeks with her after I finished my undergrad. One of the best vacations ever!
    Hopefully, Maui... its his favorite childhood vacation spot and ever since we've made enough money for a vacation without breaking the bank, hes been waning to take me there and I happily obliged XD  the only thing that MIGHT get in out way is is family might need our assistance here for some medical ordeal so we would delay the trip. Family comes first.  
  • I thought about getting married before I got engaged.  Obviously.  I was on TK before I got engaged, and it was not because I was a BM in someone else's wedding.

    But it was more of a "some day" thing than a "OMG I NEED TO PICK OUT MY DRESS AND CAKE RIGHT NOW" thing.  I knew I was going to marry DH.  But I wasn't creating a folder of wedding stuff.

    TBH, you are young, and you SOUND young.  As in, sort of immature.  Your grammar and spelling are shoddy.  And you're relationship is brand spankin new.

    Give yourself, and your relationship, time to grow and mature before you start fixating on weddings.
    [Deleted User]GoldenPenguinKeptInStitchesAuroraRose41
  • You and your BF sound like very cool people with your heads in the right place. :)  You guys will be fine. There is nothing WRONG per se with seeing something WR and filing it away for your serious consideration later on, and there's nothing wrong with those fun conversations between a couple when they're thinking about the future. But I agree with PP's, it sounds like y'all have your hands full with school, a business, and the goal of traveling, so there's plenty to keep you busy without any serious wedding stuff right now. If you feel yourself getting too involved, just concentrate on the rest of your life for a while - and we're always around to distract you if needed.

    What's on your list of places to go in the world? What tips do you have for the highly unseasoned traveler? (I ask for selfish reasons, lol - my family never traveled more than a few hours outside of our home state when I was younger and ex-BF wasn't big on it either. I am very interested in traveling but have zero idea of how to go about it, outside of a couple brief study-abroad experiences in college.)

     All over! He wants to spend more time in Europe which I have no objection to since I have never gone.  He is part Austrian.  I'd like to spend some time in South Africa becuse i have had friends from there and it sounds very exciting/ adventourous!  I cant think of any place i would oppose to going.  My advice, just pick a place, pack a backpack, follow signs and wander! When I was 18 I came to America on my own and spent 2 months wondering around the east coast on trains, buses, and plans.  It was a lot of fun but I used the internet and I asked reputable people which dangerous places to avoid.  For the most part, people anywhere are willing to help and offer assistance. Use wisely and anything that sounds too good, probably is. 
  • Sorry for the poor grammar and spelling.  I neglected to proof read my last few responses because all the posts were coming in really fast and I didn't realize i was blundering up badly excepts a few commas and caps.  That being said, for it being an informal forum and blog, I do believe I have conveyed my thoughts clearly enough not to cause confusion.  That being said I will be more mindful of how I type in the future. Thank you.  
  • SnickrsgirlSnickrsgirl
    10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited February 2014
    I thought about getting married before I got engaged.  Obviously.  I was on TK before I got engaged, and it was not because I was a BM in someone else's wedding.

    But it was more of a "some day" thing than a "OMG I NEED TO PICK OUT MY DRESS AND CAKE RIGHT NOW" thing.  I knew I was going to marry DH.  But I wasn't creating a folder of wedding stuff.

    TBH, you are young, and you SOUND young.  As in, sort of immature.  Your grammar and spelling are shoddy.  And you're relationship is brand spankin new.

    Give yourself, and your relationship, time to grow and mature before you start fixating on weddings.
     I am on the "some day" thing too. I know i am young, i know i sound young, I know that we are new and that's ok because I know I am not ready to make a commitment yet that will affect my whole life. I never said I was ready. But deep down, ever since we've first become friends, I knew he would be my H some day. Since middle school, he has always known that i love him, i even secretly wrote it in my year book that one day we will get married. Not that i'm older, even though we are stronger then ever, i know there is a chance it may not happen and things need to go slow. None the less its a feeling of inevitability but its tucked away on the back burner of life.   School is my main focus now and I wouldn't have it any other way. 
  • GoldenPenguinGoldenPenguin Upstate NY
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    1. It's not a blog. But regardless of how "informal" the forum is, you're going to be a teacher. You want to be respected as a grown-up, write at a level higher than a pre-teen.
    2. You don't need to proofread your posts, you need to take a basic English class.

    And I wonder why the college students I see every day can't write an essay to save their lives...



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    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    bethsmilesbuddysmom80KeptInStitchesHisGirlFriday13
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    BriSox81 said:
    1. It's not a blog. But regardless of how "informal" the forum is, you're going to be a teacher. You want to be respected as a grown-up, write at a level higher than a pre-teen. 2. You don't need to proofread your posts, you need to take a basic English class. And I wonder why the college students I see every day can't write an essay to save their lives...
    As someone who teaches college students and just finished reading many poorly written essays from those college students, I have to say there is nothing that frustrates me more than bad writing. Whether you are in the classroom, at your job, or on an online forum you are often judged by how well you write. It doesn't matter how intelligent you are or how great your ideas are if you can't express them like an intelligent human being.

    This is an online forum - the only thing we have is writing. If you don't edit and don't follow basic grammar and spelling we have no reason to believe that you are in fact capable of doing so.

    Personally, I don't understand why in any situation (whether it's online or in-person) you would want to come off as less intelligent and educated than you really are.

    /rant.


    GoldenPenguinAuroraRose41labro
  • @snickrsgirl I have friends who just came back from Maui and the pictures they posted were beautiful! It's a lot less developed than Oahu, if I remember correctly, so there's a lot more to explore that hasn't been modified by man.

    @Blue, just make some friends in Hawaii and crash at their house! 
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    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
  • Dignity100Dignity100 Northeastern Ohio
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    member
    I watched 'Say Yes To The Dress' but never picked anything out - that's about all the 'pre-planning' I did.


    image
    Anniversary
  • Oh i really hope that we will really be abel to go! i've seen pictures too, absolutely gorgeous! 
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