MIL Drama

MamaAlly89

On the day of the wedding my bridesmaids, my mom and I are all going to get our hair and makeup done at a salon. I am footing the bill for this since to lessen the financial burden on my bridesmaids. My fiance asked me if I would invite his mom so that she wouldn't feel left out. I invited her to come along since it was important to my him. The problem now is that my soon to be MIL invited the grandmother to come with as well, with out even asking me! I am really offended by this since I was going out of my way to invite her in the first place. How can I handle this situation? I wanted this to be time I could relax with my girls but now I feel like its all wrong.

OliveOilsMom

schramm2407 said:

On the day of the wedding my bridesmaids, my mom and I are all going to get our hair and makeup done at a salon. I am footing the bill for this since to lessen the financial burden on my bridesmaids. My fiance asked me if I would invite his mom so that she wouldn't feel left out. I invited her to come along since it was important to my him. The problem now is that my soon to be MIL invited the grandmother to come with as well, with out even asking me! I am really offended by this since I was going out of my way to invite her in the first place. How can I handle this situation? I wanted this to be time I could relax with my girls but now I feel like its all wrong.

There isn't much you can do.  You uninvite grandmom and you leave a bad taste in your soon to be new families' mouth.  You probably should have held your own against FI and not invite FMIL, but that isn't anything you can change now.  But I think you should speak with FI about how this now makes you feel.  Perhaps he can speak with his mom and just let her know that you want to be relaxing and not to hold it against you if you aren't chatty.  Remember your FMIL was a bride once too and I'm sure she remembers all of the nerves that can go along with that.

MairePoppy

Scheduling is your friend. Make appointments for FMIL and FGMIL towards the end of the hair session. It's unlikely they'll want to show up early and be there the whole time. Or you could do it the other way around, schedule them first. When they see how busy everyone is, they probably won't stay long. Ask the stylist to call them to give them their times.

HisGirlFriday13

You really can't uninvite grandma, at least not without causing WWIII. I would tell your FI that you will make the arrangements for this this time, but that any future people your FMIL plans to invite will be disallowed.

Then I agree with @MairePoppy that scheduling is your friend. Make sure they're scheduled toward the end of the time block so that you can have that alone time with your BMs before hand.

And I wouldn't tell her what time YOU are getting there. Just tell her, 'FMIL, you and FGMIL should be at the salon by X time.' Make sure there's a little over-lap (15 minutes or so), so she doesn't feel like you're shunning her or avoiding her, but otherwise -- schedule her and FGMIL last.