Sister-in-law

crhauck

My brother got married a few years ago and my two sisters and I were all bridesmaids. My sister-in-law is nice and I like her, but we are not super close. She and my brother live far away and we don't see each other very often. Am I required to include her in my wedding party? I have many friends (in addition to my two sisters) who I am closer with. I honestly never thought about including her until my sister said her feelings would probably be hurt if she were not a bridesmaid.

HisGirlFriday13

crhauck said:

My brother got married a few years ago and my two sisters and I were all bridesmaids. My sister-in-law is nice and I like her, but we are not super close. She and my brother live far away and we don't see each other very often. Am I required to include her in my wedding party? I have many friends (in addition to my two sisters) who I am closer with. I honestly never thought about including her until my sister said her feelings would probably be hurt if she were not a bridesmaid.

Your bridal party should be your nearest and dearest. Weddings aren't tit-for-tat -- of the four women I've been a BM for, only one, my SIL, was a BM in my wedding, and that's because we're very close.

HOWEVER -- if you think her feelings will be hurt to not be included, for the sake of family harmony, you might want to think about including her, or having her do something else (a reading, for example).

Family dynamics with this are tricky. The strict etiquette answer is you're fine not to include her in your WP, but only you know the dynamics of your family well enough to know if hewing to strict etiquette will have repercussions that aren't worth it.

Jen4948

HisGirlFriday13 said:

crhauck said:

My brother got married a few years ago and my two sisters and I were all bridesmaids. My sister-in-law is nice and I like her, but we are not super close. She and my brother live far away and we don't see each other very often. Am I required to include her in my wedding party? I have many friends (in addition to my two sisters) who I am closer with. I honestly never thought about including her until my sister said her feelings would probably be hurt if she were not a bridesmaid.

Your bridal party should be your nearest and dearest. Weddings aren't tit-for-tat -- of the four women I've been a BM for, only one, my SIL, was a BM in my wedding, and that's because we're very close.

HOWEVER -- if you think her feelings will be hurt to not be included, for the sake of family harmony, you might want to think about including her, or having her do something else (a reading, for example).

Family dynamics with this are tricky. The strict etiquette answer is you're fine not to include her in your WP, but only you know the dynamics of your family well enough to know if hewing to strict etiquette will have repercussions that aren't worth it.

This.

Starlet514

I did not ask my FI's SIL to be a BM's and boy-oh-boy did it cause some issues.... she turned us down when asked to do a reading but is now a groomswoman... 

Definitely think about the family dynamics of who you are dealing with... If you are close with your brother you can always ask him - he should know his wife the best! 

Good Luck!! 

ei34

PPs have hit the nail on the head regarding family dynamics...if it'll upset your SIL to not be included, it's better to ask her to be a BM.  If she won't mind not being in the WP, and you'd rather not have her, it's totally fine to not ask her.  I was in several weddings before getting married myself and didn't feel pressured to ask any of my friends to be my bridesmaids.

doeydo

I don't think anyone has the right to be upset at not being asked to be a BM.  Honestly, I wouldn't ask her if you do not feel very close to her.

AddieCake

I would not ask anyone I am not close to to be in my wedding party.