Bridal Shower for Destination Wedding

AnaLaura87

My bridesmaids and mom are planning my bridal shower and the subject of who to invite came up. We're having a small destination wedding so is it appropriate to invite people to the bridal shower who aren't invited to the wedding in Mexico? We are having a small reception when we get back but I'm getting mixed reviews on if its ok or not.

Knottie37373131

I do not know if I would feel okay about inviting people to the bridal shower that are not invited to the wedding. Those that want to get you gifts will likely still to so at the reception if they are invited that.

saric83

Anyone not invited to the actual wedding shouldn't be invited to any other wedding-related events.  

I do totally get wanting to celebrate with people (this was hard for my mom to accept), but at the end of the day, it's a gift-giving event, and it can feel really crappy to essentially tell someone that they're good enough to bring you a present to a shower but not good enough to actually see you get married. 

Unfortunately, having a DW means you have to give up certain things, and this is a perfect example.  

princessleia22

Etiquette wise, no, you should not invite anyone to shower that isn't invited to the wedding. 

BUT, I'm also a believer that sometimes it isn't SO horrible to not go by the book, but you need to know your audience.  There are a lot of local areas that have traditions that are major etiquette no-no's to the rest of us (dollar dances, cash bars, etc.)... these things are the accepted norm in some circles and not frowned upon in those groups.  That doesn't make it right, but if it is widely accepted in your circle, then it isn't going to hurt anybody and may be (hesitantly) okay... or at least not as wrong.

I've tried explaining the "only people invited to the wedding get invited to shower" thing to the people who are throwing me a shower.  But, there are some family & friends that know they aren't invited to my destination wedding (and are okay with the reasoning), but they do expect to be invited to the shower and would actually be very upset and hurt if they weren't invited to it.  So, in that case, it may be more polite to invite them to the shower, even though it's technically against etiquette. And even some others that may not be hurt by being excluded, wouldn't question or side-eye being invited to just the shower.  It's just not uncommon in that circle of people. 

So, yes, it may be "technically wrong" to invite people to shower and not the wedding, but it may also depend on your local customs and the specific people in your group.  Sometimes incorrect etiquette isn't always super horrible (at least to groups of people who all have bad etiquette).

Lwaryjas

I 've heard the same thing.  I bounced back and forth from the guest list and in the end when the discussion around the shower came up, only those actually invited to the wedding itself should get invited to the shower.  Good luck