Bar Tally

cookie0803

I don't know the total number of weddings I've attended, but only one was a cash bar. The rest were all full open bar.

SammiNJonni

I have never been to a wedding with a cash bar. They either were full open or limited hosted (beer and wine)

LadyMillil

lyndausvi said:

cmfarr said:

Open Bar - 0

Open Bar during cocktail hour, cash bar after dinner - 1

Dry - 1

Wine on table - 2

Bar by donation - 1 (you didn't have to pay for the drinks, but you got the stink eye from the BP manning the bar if you didn't put any money in the cash jar when you got a drink)

What does that even mean?

Wedding was on Groom's farm. B&G bought a bunch of cheap alcohol and set up a bar area. They had members of the wedding party taking turns being the bartender. There was a cash jar on the bar. It was expected that you either tossed in a big bill ($20-50) at the start of the night OR you tossed in a couple of dollars each time you got a drink to pay for the drink. Since they called it a "by donation" bar, in theory you didn't have to "donate" any money to get a drink, but you were glared at or reminded that you were supposed to donate money if you didn't put any money in the cash jar.

jneen101

I've been to at least 20 weddings as an adult and all but one had an open bar.  The one without an open bar was an absolute piece of shit wedding.

hikebikebemerry

I have only been to two weddings (as an adult), both of which were open bar.

I have 4 weddings that I will be attending within the coming year, (one of them being mine.. wheee!!) and I know that both ourselves and a cousin of FI's will be full open bar, another friend will likely have an open bar, the other friend I have no idea- I wouldn't be surprised if it were a dry wedding or limited bar.

Edited for clarification; I went to weddings as a kid, but for obvious reasons had no idea what the bar situation was.

MrsMarende

Open Bar - 4

Hosted then switched to cash - 2

Full Cash - 1

MrsMarende

cmfarr said:

lyndausvi said:

cmfarr said:

Open Bar - 0

Open Bar during cocktail hour, cash bar after dinner - 1

Dry - 1

Wine on table - 2

Bar by donation - 1 (you didn't have to pay for the drinks, but you got the stink eye from the BP manning the bar if you didn't put any money in the cash jar when you got a drink)

What does that even mean?

Wedding was on Groom's farm. B&G bought a bunch of cheap alcohol and set up a bar area. They had members of the wedding party taking turns being the bartender. There was a cash jar on the bar. It was expected that you either tossed in a big bill ($20-50) at the start of the night OR you tossed in a couple of dollars each time you got a drink to pay for the drink. Since they called it a "by donation" bar, in theory you didn't have to "donate" any money to get a drink, but you were glared at or reminded that you were supposed to donate money if you didn't put any money in the cash jar.

That is ridiculous! 

APDSS22

I've been to half a dozen weddings since the magical drinking age.  They were all fully hosted but most were beer and wine only.  I've never been to a cash bar wedding (thank goodness).

sarahufl

lyndausvi said:

cmfarr said:

Open Bar - 0

Open Bar during cocktail hour, cash bar after dinner - 1

Dry - 1

Wine on table - 2

Bar by donation - 1 (you didn't have to pay for the drinks, but you got the stink eye from the BP manning the bar if you didn't put any money in the cash jar when you got a drink)

What does that even mean?

Wedding was on Groom's farm. B&G bought a bunch of cheap alcohol and set up a bar area. They had members of the wedding party taking turns being the bartender. There was a cash jar on the bar. It was expected that you either tossed in a big bill ($20-50) at the start of the night OR you tossed in a couple of dollars each time you got a drink to pay for the drink. Since they called it a "by donation" bar, in theory you didn't have to "donate" any money to get a drink, but you were glared at or reminded that you were supposed to donate money if you didn't put any money in the cash jar.

well, that is.....unique

chibiyui

cmfarr said:

lyndausvi said:

cmfarr said:

Open Bar - 0

Open Bar during cocktail hour, cash bar after dinner - 1

Dry - 1

Wine on table - 2

Bar by donation - 1 (you didn't have to pay for the drinks, but you got the stink eye from the BP manning the bar if you didn't put any money in the cash jar when you got a drink)

What does that even mean?

Wedding was on Groom's farm. B&G bought a bunch of cheap alcohol and set up a bar area. They had members of the wedding party taking turns being the bartender. There was a cash jar on the bar. It was expected that you either tossed in a big bill ($20-50) at the start of the night OR you tossed in a couple of dollars each time you got a drink to pay for the drink. Since they called it a "by donation" bar, in theory you didn't have to "donate" any money to get a drink, but you were glared at or reminded that you were supposed to donate money if you didn't put any money in the cash jar.

Because guilt and weddings go so well together.

mollyringwald15

lyndausvi said:

cmfarr said:

Open Bar - 0

Open Bar during cocktail hour, cash bar after dinner - 1

Dry - 1

Wine on table - 2

Bar by donation - 1 (you didn't have to pay for the drinks, but you got the stink eye from the BP manning the bar if you didn't put any money in the cash jar when you got a drink)

What does that even mean?

This scares me.

offthemarket915

Have attended about 15 weddings, all full open bars, as ours will be in June.

Bubblegum5586

I have been to about 25 weddings as an adult

2 -full hosted bar

3 -beer and wine hosted/ or open bar during cocktail hour

20 - Cash (a handful of these had included wine on the tables)

lyndausvi

sarahufl said:

lyndausvi said:

cmfarr said:

Open Bar - 0

Open Bar during cocktail hour, cash bar after dinner - 1

Dry - 1

Wine on table - 2

Bar by donation - 1 (you didn't have to pay for the drinks, but you got the stink eye from the BP manning the bar if you didn't put any money in the cash jar when you got a drink)

What does that even mean?

Wedding was on Groom's farm. B&G bought a bunch of cheap alcohol and set up a bar area. They had members of the wedding party taking turns being the bartender. There was a cash jar on the bar. It was expected that you either tossed in a big bill ($20-50) at the start of the night OR you tossed in a couple of dollars each time you got a drink to pay for the drink. Since they called it a "by donation" bar, in theory you didn't have to "donate" any money to get a drink, but you were glared at or reminded that you were supposed to donate money if you didn't put any money in the cash jar.

well, that is.....unique

It's one thing if the venue profits from me, quite another for the actual couple.

Peaseblossom55

I've attended over 20 wedding all were open bars, none were cash bars, some were partial bars (wine and beer) but that was fine.

grumbledore

cmfarr said:

lyndausvi said:

cmfarr said:

Open Bar - 0

Open Bar during cocktail hour, cash bar after dinner - 1

Dry - 1

Wine on table - 2

Bar by donation - 1 (you didn't have to pay for the drinks, but you got the stink eye from the BP manning the bar if you didn't put any money in the cash jar when you got a drink)

What does that even mean?

Wedding was on Groom's farm. B&G bought a bunch of cheap alcohol and set up a bar area. They had members of the wedding party taking turns being the bartender. There was a cash jar on the bar. It was expected that you either tossed in a big bill ($20-50) at the start of the night OR you tossed in a couple of dollars each time you got a drink to pay for the drink. Since they called it a "by donation" bar, in theory you didn't have to "donate" any money to get a drink, but you were glared at or reminded that you were supposed to donate money if you didn't put any money in the cash jar.

Wow, so they were literally charging their guests directly for drinks. Klassy.

lyndausvi

grumbledore said:

cmfarr said:

lyndausvi said:

cmfarr said:

Open Bar - 0

Open Bar during cocktail hour, cash bar after dinner - 1

Dry - 1

Wine on table - 2

Bar by donation - 1 (you didn't have to pay for the drinks, but you got the stink eye from the BP manning the bar if you didn't put any money in the cash jar when you got a drink)

What does that even mean?

Wedding was on Groom's farm. B&G bought a bunch of cheap alcohol and set up a bar area. They had members of the wedding party taking turns being the bartender. There was a cash jar on the bar. It was expected that you either tossed in a big bill ($20-50) at the start of the night OR you tossed in a couple of dollars each time you got a drink to pay for the drink. Since they called it a "by donation" bar, in theory you didn't have to "donate" any money to get a drink, but you were glared at or reminded that you were supposed to donate money if you didn't put any money in the cash jar.

Wow, so they were literally charging their guests directly for drinks. Klassy.

No, you were guilted into a "donation"

Maggie0829

I have been to about 20 weddings.

Full cash bars - 0

Partially hosted bar (meaning beer and wine were free but liquor was cash) - 1

Limited bar (just beer and wine) - 3

Open bars - 16

Dry - 0

And yes, my H and I commented about the partially hosted bar as did others sitting at our table. Apparently there was no sign out on the bar nor did the bartenders mention that mixed drinks were going to cost guests money so many people ordered drinks and then, surprise, they had to fork over about $8 per drink.

KeepMovingOn

Full Open Bar - 0

Beer and Wine Only (hosted) - 2

Dry - 3

Cash - 9

Cash bars are the norm and completely "acceptable" in my social circle. I'm still not going to have one. 

wrigleyville

antoto said:

I feel like we should also be adding where we are from - so many brides use the "different culture/region" argument with cash bars and this might help!

***STUCK IN BOX****

TK used to display your region (the one you picked when you signed up), but they got rid of that. I kind of miss it. It was fun to see where everyone was from.

MGP

grumbledore said:

cmfarr said:

lyndausvi said:

cmfarr said:

Open Bar - 0

Open Bar during cocktail hour, cash bar after dinner - 1

Dry - 1

Wine on table - 2

Bar by donation - 1 (you didn't have to pay for the drinks, but you got the stink eye from the BP manning the bar if you didn't put any money in the cash jar when you got a drink)

What does that even mean?

Wedding was on Groom's farm. B&G bought a bunch of cheap alcohol and set up a bar area. They had members of the wedding party taking turns being the bartender. There was a cash jar on the bar. It was expected that you either tossed in a big bill ($20-50) at the start of the night OR you tossed in a couple of dollars each time you got a drink to pay for the drink. Since they called it a "by donation" bar, in theory you didn't have to "donate" any money to get a drink, but you were glared at or reminded that you were supposed to donate money if you didn't put any money in the cash jar.

Wow, so they were literally charging their guests directly for drinks. Klassy.

I just can't get over the fact they were using the bridal party as bartenders. Gross. Refer to my "if it's a paying job then pay a professional to do it" thread for my full thoughts on this topic.

d2va

I havent been to many weddings, but Ive never been to a wedding where I was required to pay for anything besides maybe parking.

If I were to be invited to a wedding with a cash bar, I would take my envelope out of their card box and eat their food and then leave.

SomethingBeautiful08

Open -2
Limited - 3 - one they closed the bar during specific times, 2 the only alchohal I saw was the toast, but I wasn't looking to hard as it was lunch time. 3rd they provided some beer and wine as it was almost self catered.
Cash - 0
Dry -2 my own and my sister's

3 of those wedding were in Oregon, 4 in Michigan where I now live

crunchymamaof2

I've only been to about 3 weddings but all we're open bars- either through the venue or it was a backward reception with all alcohol provided. 1 was in MA, 1 CT, and 1 NJ

LadyMillil

MGP said:

grumbledore said:

cmfarr said:

lyndausvi said:

cmfarr said:

Open Bar - 0

Open Bar during cocktail hour, cash bar after dinner - 1

Dry - 1

Wine on table - 2

Bar by donation - 1 (you didn't have to pay for the drinks, but you got the stink eye from the BP manning the bar if you didn't put any money in the cash jar when you got a drink)

What does that even mean?

Wedding was on Groom's farm. B&G bought a bunch of cheap alcohol and set up a bar area. They had members of the wedding party taking turns being the bartender. There was a cash jar on the bar. It was expected that you either tossed in a big bill ($20-50) at the start of the night OR you tossed in a couple of dollars each time you got a drink to pay for the drink. Since they called it a "by donation" bar, in theory you didn't have to "donate" any money to get a drink, but you were glared at or reminded that you were supposed to donate money if you didn't put any money in the cash jar.

Wow, so they were literally charging their guests directly for drinks. Klassy.

I just can't get over the fact they were using the bridal party as bartenders. Gross. Refer to my "if it's a paying job then pay a professional to do it" thread for my full thoughts on this topic.

There were so many cost-cutting measures at this wedding that lead to etiquette/hosting fails that not hiring a bartender didn't surprise me at all.

monkeysip

I've only been to 9 weddings.  5 of them had open bar, BUT some of them were limited, as in they only had beer and wine.

The other 4.... I have no clue  I was a child and don't have any clue what type of bar it was.

And then, of course, there's my wedding, which was open bar.

MairePoppy

@acove2006 - what is a backward reception? 

I grew up in MA, lived in CT for 35 years and have been to many weddings.

Every wedding in CT was full open bar. It would be considered very tacky to charge guests for drinks or anything else. 

In MA, the bars were not hosted for about half the family weddings. The cash bar weddings were lower budget weddings, usually in places like Elks Lodge, KOC, Legion, buffet luncheons and the bars were in separate areas from the reception rooms. Technically, they were dry weddings, except the guests knew it was okay to buy drinks at the bar and bring them back to the reception. The brides didn't wear expensive gowns and there were no limos, centerpieces etc... no splurges. No expensive honeymoons. The majority of the wedding budget was spent on feeding guests. 

I have never attended a limited bar reception.

 

ETA - not implying that all Elks Lodge weddings etc... are low budget. I have attended fully hosted, nicely done weddings in those types of places.

jenna8984

I don't drink so I'm trying to remember if my date had to pay...I estimate

4 open

6 cash 

Cookie Pusher

I've been to about 2 dozen weddings, and all of them have been open bars (some beer/wine only, some full open). All have been in NYC/NJ except 1, which was in PA but the couple is from NJ.

huskypuppy14

I grew up in CT, and have lived in MA since I was 18. I've been to about 15-20 weddings, most of which were in the New England area. A couple in NY, one in PA, and one in TX. I've only been to 2 weddings with cash bar, but both of those had the cocktail hour open. One of those had wine on the table and the other had open non alcoholic beverages all night. 

1 wedding was beer/wine/champagne only, and there was no hard liquor available at all.  

All the others were open bar, that I recall.

We're doing open bar for our wedding. I was considering just beer and wine, but there is about a 1000 dollar difference between open premium and beer and wine, so I figured we are already spending so much money, what's another thousand.