photgraphy times

Kimmy1018

Are there any other brides with a ceremony at 2pm ( church ) with the cocktail hour at 6pm followed by reception? How long are you setting aside for photos after the ceremony? I'm trying to plan out the day and not sure how much time to allot for photos. I planned on doing some at the church then the rest at the reception venue outside before cocktail hour. I was thinking an hour after the church, break, then an hour at the venue? Any thoughts? I'm so clueless when it comes to this stuff. Thanks!

Jenn7778

We are having our ceremony at 3 and then the cocktail hour is beginning at 7.  We are doing some of the photos prior to the ceremony since we are having a joint catholic/jewish ceremony in the church and we have to have a Ketubah signing ceremony after the church ceremony.  we want to make sure  make sure we get to enjoy the entire cocktail hour.  We will probably do and hour and a half before the ceremony and then and hour and a half after.

JoanE2012

Kimmy1018 said:

Are there any other brides with a ceremony at 2pm ( church ) with the cocktail hour at 6pm followed by reception? How long are you setting aside for photos after the ceremony? I'm trying to plan out the day and not sure how much time to allot for photos. I planned on doing some at the church then the rest at the reception venue outside before cocktail hour. I was thinking an hour after the church, break, then an hour at the venue? Any thoughts? I'm so clueless when it comes to this stuff. Thanks!

You should be allotting one hour after the ceremony.  This should be the cocktail hour for your guests.  You shouldn't have a gap between your ceremony and reception.  That's incredibly rude to your guests.  Having a church wedding is no excuse for a gap.  You should've found a venue with an earlier start time.  

mellyD2014

Agreed with @joanE2012 - you need to have some hosted event in between. We have a 330 ceremony with a 6 pm cocktail hour start time; this gives everyone enough time to get to the hotel from the ceremony and check in (most are OOT guests and won't be able to check in prior), then get on the shuttle we're providing to get to the cocktail hour.

We're doing most of our photos before the ceremony, including a first look, so we don't have a large gap. Definitely set something up in between to host people.

olleb4

Oh god here we go with these posters. Don't mind the anti-gaps crowd. My ceremony will be at 2:30 with a gap til 6pm cocktail hour (full ceremony).  I assume you are doing a full ceremony? I am - my guests will check into their hotels between 3:30-6pm. I listed this on our wedding website that they can check in or go site seeing around the area if its a nice day (by the city skyline). You have plenty of time for receiving line, pictures in the church, travel to a park if its nice out, go to the reception for pictures, and still make it to your cocktail hour. Just add in traveling time (half hour each drive). You should enjoy your cocktail hour too - you (or someone) is paying for it. I always here from others how they wish they enjoyed that hour with friends and family and ATE!

JCbride2015

Gahhh no, gaps are not okay!  We aren't "anti gap posters," we are pro-etiquette posters.  A gap is incredibly inconvenient for guests.  

Who wants to go sight seeing while dressed to the nines?  Now, if there is a hotel hospitality room, or extended cocktail hour, or meet and greet at somebody's house, sure.  But I'm not just going to wander around the city on my own dime, dressed for a wedding.

Fi and I went to a wedding an hour away, with about a three hour gap.  We ended up sitting in a Chicago Uno Pizza Grill in our cocktail attire for 2.5 hours.  We absolutely were annoyed at the couple and it was a huge buzzkill in the middle of the day.

Although I will point out, I'm not assuming OP herself has a gap.  That time might be hosted and I hope it is.

AshleyNicole1218

Agree with @JCBride2014 all the way. I have yet to see someone say they 'enjoyed' an unhosted multi-hour gap by walking around the town dressed in their cocktail attire.

@FutureMrsPA is right, you could enjoy your cocktail hour. But is does NOT mean it should be pushed back so you can take hours of pictures.

I will be enjoying my cocktail hour 100%. That's because I'm doing pictures before the ceremony. I will not ask anyone, including my bridal party, to wait to eat at dinner time.

It feels like the people who seem to encourage brides that gaps are acceptable seem to be the same people who had gaps themselves. Just because someone didn't get negative feedback regarding gaps doesn't mean people support the practice. The last wedding I went to had a few hours gap. Everyone was annoyed, yet no one told the bride. (Some people are respectful, even when they are being improperly hosted.)

OP, I set aside a total of about 3 hours of pictures BEFORE the ceremony. Though I have to work out specifics with my photog, some of that time will be just me and FI, some full bridal party, and some family. If you cannot avoid a gap because times cannot be moved, please consider hosting your guests between ceremony and reception.

JoanE2012

FutureMrsPA said:

Oh god here we go with these posters. Don't mind the anti-gaps crowd. My ceremony will be at 2:30 with a gap til 6pm cocktail hour (full ceremony).  I assume you are doing a full ceremony? I am - my guests will check into their hotels between 3:30-6pm. I listed this on our wedding website that they can check in or go site seeing around the area if its a nice day (by the city skyline). You have plenty of time for receiving line, pictures in the church, travel to a park if its nice out, go to the reception for pictures, and still make it to your cocktail hour. Just add in traveling time (half hour each drive). You should enjoy your cocktail hour too - you (or someone) is paying for it. I always here from others how they wish they enjoyed that hour with friends and family and ATE!

You certainly can enjoy your cocktail hour.....just don't do it at your guests' expense.  Let's be real.....I don't want to go site seeing when I'm dressed to the nines.  You're kidding yourself if you think people are actually going to be happy about this.  Of course everyone is going to tell you it's no big deal.  Heck, I surely wouldn't tell a couple I was bored during their gap.  But rest assured, my DH and I would be bitchin' about it behind your back.  Weddings like that don't often redeem themselves and often stay on our worst wedding list.  Thankfully, most of the people we know know how to host weddings properly so that list is very small.

olleb4

Get over it, adults. I'm not here to win the "best wedding" award.

AshleyNicole1218

Personally, I'd be embarassed to freely admit that I don't give a damn about being rude to my guests. I'm not looking to win the "best wedding' award, but I also don't want to win the "it's my special day and I don't care about my guests" award.

I promise you, people will remember your wedding. Because of the gap. If that's fine with you, that's great. But giving out terrible advice to others isn't right.

Edited: spelling.

HobokensFury

Here we go again. I agree with @JCBride2014. I'm not anti gap, I'm anti being rude to your guests.

JoanE2012

FutureMrsPA said:

Get over it, adults. I'm not here to win the "best wedding" award.

Well that's quite obvious.  Do you really want to be all the way on the other end of the spectrum though?

olleb4

Your opinions are noted where they should be. Clearly OP wasn't asking your opinions on whether or not she should have a gap - it was how to use the gap sufficiently for photos. How about you give constructive responses to OP rather than criticizing yet another poster about their wedding plans and how their guests MIGHT feel based on your personal preferences.

JoanE2012

FutureMrsPA said:

Your opinions are noted where they should be. Clearly OP wasn't asking your opinions on whether or not she should have a gap - it was how to use the gap sufficiently for photos. How about you give constructive responses to OP rather than criticizing yet another poster about their wedding plans and how their guests MIGHT feel based on your personal preferences.

And?  It's a public message board.  I'm not going to validate a bad (and rude!) idea.  If someone doesn't want to hear opinions, they shouldn't post here.   You don't get to dictate the types of responses you get back or ask for only favorable responses.  If you want that, go check out weddingbee.  They'll sugarcoat all of your ideas, no matter how ridiculous or rude they are.

AshleyNicole1218

I gave an answer. 3 hours BEFORE the ceremony if you don't want to miss cocktail hour.

And really, guests will not be happy about checking into their hotel for 3 hours/walking in the park in their best. Let's not pretend that's actually being helpful or accommedating to your nearest and dearest. Checking in takes approximately 10 minutes and unless the wedding is in a worthwhile city, very few care about sightseeing. While in cocktail attire.

olleb4

I didn't say one should dictate a response - but be constructive to the original question otherwise you're wasting someone else's time checking responses like this one. Clearly that goes over everyone's head to incite their beliefs on others just to feel like they matter in another person's world, quite similar to one who enjoys hearing themselves talk.

@ashleynicole1218 Some people (perhaps OP) appreciate tradition of not seeing each other before the ceremony. Also, guests can't check in to the hotel until right after the ceremony ends anyway (3pm) so why not come view the ceremony until then, then check in...? I forgot NYC is a really crummy place to be in September. Color me shocked.

JoanE2012

FutureMrsPA said:

I didn't say one should dictate a response - but be constructive to the original question otherwise you're wasting someone else's time checking responses like this one. Clearly that goes over everyone's head to incite their beliefs on others just to feel like they matter in another person's world, quite similar to one who enjoys hearing themselves talk.

@ashleynicole1218 Some people (perhaps OP) appreciate tradition of not seeing each other before the ceremony. Also, guests can't check in to the hotel until right after the ceremony ends anyway (3pm) so why not come view the ceremony until then, then check in...? I forgot NYC is a really crummy place to be in September. Color me shocked.

I gave constructive criticism.  If you or OP don't want to use it, that's fine.  But when it comes down to it, it's all about being a good host.  If you don't want to see your groom before the ceremony, then you forego the cocktail hour to take pictures.  Doing pictures and having a gap and THEN going to your cocktail hour is selfish and rude.

Nobody wants to walk around a city dressed to the nines just killing time.  Nobody will tell you that though.  You're kidding yourself if you think nobody is going to mind.  I'd be bored out of my fuckin' mind.  My DH would probably try and convince me to skip the ceremony and just go to the party.

All of this is really just common sense.  I wish people would have more of it.  

And finally, I don't feel like I am wasting my time posting.  Because every once in awhile, I see people turn their responses on the topic.   Or they post months later about the mistakes they almost made before they came here.   Nor do I post to hear myself talk.  I'd much rather have nothing to say!  If you're bothered by it, there's always an ignore button.    But for now, I'll continue posting......

AshleyNicole1218

@futuremrspa - Ok, so no first look...then no cocktail hour. Obviously everyone can do what they want...and some people are chosing to push cocktail hour out and be rude to guests. I at least know I won't have people talking bad about how rude I am behind my back.

My point with check in is that it does not take 3 hours to check into a hotel. Therefore, guests will need to kill a lot of time. Evidently, walking around getting sweaty in their best attire is your suggestion.

Just because NYC has a lot to see doesn't mean a lot of people want to see it. And not every bride is getting married in NYC. For example, a 3 hour gap in say, Hackensack, does not have the same sights to see as the city.

Side note:
Everyone forgets the bridal party. I really hope everyone galavanting around town taking pictures properly feeds their bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc, as they clearly won't be able to snack or rest like the rests of the guests. This may seem like common sense, but I also thought not being inconsiderate of your guests was common sense...

JxSWedding

LOL at people who don't understand catholic bride problems. 

Kimmy1018 you will probably have better chance of getting quality feedback in the Catholic forum. It has less traffic but at least you won't get harassed by people like @ashelynicole1218 and @JoanE2012 who have nothing better to do than pick fights on forums. 

@futuremrspa:  

HobokensFury

JxSWedding said:

LOL at people who don't understand catholic bride problems. 

Kimmy1018 you will probably have better chance of getting quality feedback in the Catholic forum. It has less traffic but at least you won't get harassed by people like @ashelynicole1218 and @JoanE2012 who have nothing better to do than pick fights on forums. 

@futuremrspa:  

Oh please. Being Catholic doesn't give you an excuse on being rude to your guests. I'm Catholic myself as are many others and we all somehow managed to avoid this etiquette breech.

JCbride2015

JxSWedding said:

LOL at people who don't understand catholic bride problems. 

Kimmy1018 you will probably have better chance of getting quality feedback in the Catholic forum. It has less traffic but at least you won't get harassed by people like @ashelynicole1218 and @JoanE2012 who have nothing better to do than pick fights on forums. 

@futuremrspa:  

There are MANY Catholic brides on these forums who did not have gaps.  If you want an evening wedding, try for a Friday night ceremony with reception immediately following.  If you must have an afternoon ceremony, just have the reception earlier.  It's not hard.

Wanting a Catholic wedding is by no means an excuse to be rude to your guests.

Those of us cautioning OP against a gap ARE being constructive.  We are offering helpful feedback on the information given in her post.  Gaps are rude.  Her guests will be annoyed and displeased.  I assume she wants to be a good host, so this is valuable information.  Constructive =/= validating bad ideas.

JoanE2012

JxSWedding said:

LOL at people who don't understand catholic bride problems. 

Kimmy1018 you will probably have better chance of getting quality feedback in the Catholic forum. It has less traffic but at least you won't get harassed by people like @ashelynicole1218 and @JoanE2012 who have nothing better to do than pick fights on forums. 

@futuremrspa:  

Don't blame rudeness on religion.

I also find it funny though that you joined just to post this.

JCbride2015

JoanE2012 said:

JxSWedding said:

LOL at people who don't understand catholic bride problems. 

Kimmy1018 you will probably have better chance of getting quality feedback in the Catholic forum. It has less traffic but at least you won't get harassed by people like @ashelynicole1218 and @JoanE2012 who have nothing better to do than pick fights on forums. 

@futuremrspa:  

Don't blame rudeness on religion.

I also find it funny though that you joined just to post this.

Good catch.  Alter ego perhaps?

JoanE2012

JCBride2014 said:

JoanE2012 said:

JxSWedding said:

LOL at people who don't understand catholic bride problems. 

Kimmy1018 you will probably have better chance of getting quality feedback in the Catholic forum. It has less traffic but at least you won't get harassed by people like @ashelynicole1218 and @JoanE2012 who have nothing better to do than pick fights on forums. 

@futuremrspa:  

Don't blame rudeness on religion.

I also find it funny though that you joined just to post this.

Good catch.  Alter ego perhaps?

Yeah, pretty sure it is!

olleb4

@jcbride2014 - sorry to burst your bubble but constructive criticism DOES NOT equal telling her to switch to a FRIDAY RECEPTION!!  Yikes I thought guest-pleasing non-rude hosts would catch that. She asked for how she could use the gap for photos. Not if/how to change her timeline when people are probably already fully aware of what they are in for. And if they RSVP YES then I guess they won't be mad enough to stay home that night.

@JxSwedding it's seriously laughable that people are friends with people this uptight.

AshleyNicole1218

Bahahaha...I just can't. You can lead the horse to water, but ya can't make him drink.

JxSWedding

JoanE2012AshleyNicole1218JCBride2014   Maybe, I did join just to comment on this because you girls are incredibly rude when it comes to this topic and I felt like it needed to be addressed. The knot created a special forum for stuck up bridezillas like yourself: Snarky Brides. You should check it out. 

JxSWedding

FutureMrsPA said:

@jcbride2014 - sorry to burst your bubble but constructive criticism DOES NOT equal telling her to switch to a FRIDAY RECEPTION!!  Yikes I thought guest-pleasing non-rude hosts would catch that. She asked for how she could use the gap for photos. Not if/how to change her timeline when people are probably already fully aware of what they are in for. And if they RSVP YES then I guess they won't be mad enough to stay home that night.

@JxSwedding it's seriously laughable that people are friends with people this uptight.

Good catch. Stupidity perhaps? I guess @JCBride2014 is so vehemently opposed to a gap in the wedding that she thinks that forcing our family and friends to take a day off from work is more accommodating.  Thanks for the quality feedback there, JC. (That was sarcastic, FYI)

olleb4

@JxSWedding - exactly why I paid more money for a Saturday - so I DON'T make it inconvenient for my guests.

JoanE2012

JxSWedding said:

JoanE2012AshleyNicole1218JCBride2014   Maybe, I did join just to comment on this because you girls are incredibly rude when it comes to this topic and I felt like it needed to be addressed. The knot created a special forum for stuck up bridezillas like yourself: Snarky Brides. You should check it out. 

Just because someone doesn't validate your bad idea doesn't make a person rude.  And believing that you should treat your guests properly and avoid gaps is not being stuck up.  It's having good manners and common sense. 

AshleyNicole1218

@joane2012 @jcbride2014 I guess we should just accept that discouraging gaps, suggesting hosting during a gap or taking pictures before a ceremony is now what makes one a bridezilla. Move along now, nothing to see here...

Edited, typing is hard.