What to do...

mrandmrsbadass

Okay girls I need some advice here. So today I was all happy with it being valentines day and so I was thinking about the wedding and the surprise engagement party. So I text my lil brother and ask him if he will be coming and he says no he doesn't want too. I come to find out that my dad doesn't want to attend the engagement party or the wedding either. Apparently they both feel that my dear husband to be is shady because he keeps to himself. Long story short now they have decided to disown me. What to do? And who if anyone should walk me down the aisle? The guest list including wedding party is at 18.

mrandmrsbadass

Why is no one choosing to commit? Or give advice??

AddieCake

Probably because most people don't ever come to thi board. You should post it on one of the boards that are actually active. What exactly is your question? Ae you throwing your own engagement party? You shouldn't be. Your family is going to disown you if you marry this man? You have to decide which life you prefer, then: one with this man or one with your family. What has he done that makes them think he is shady? Just keeping to himself? There has to be more to this story. How old are you? Anyone (or nobody) can walk you down the aisle.

mrandmrsbadass

@Addie73 Thank you for responding to my post. I am 31. I think you answered my question that anyone or no one can walk me down the aisle. Yes I am throwing our own engagment bbq/ party. My brother and my father as of yesterday have disowned me because I am going to marry my dear husband to be. According to my brother, him and my father think that husband to be is shady because " his actions around the house( keeping to himself)" my brother continues on by saying "when he leaves the bedroom and dosent say hi that's shady...when he dosent leave his room at all when we are there is disrespectful ..." So yeah .. You can see the problem

Sugargirl1019

I am confused as to how it's a surprise party if you're planning it?

I would call it something different than "engagement party" because party would infer gifts, and it is not proper to host a party for yourself expecting gifts. (and it sounds like you're not.) Maybe just stick to calling it a BBQ or engagement meet/greet for people to get to know one of you better.

But "engagement parties" aren't required, so don't feel that you have to invite people to attend this gathering if it will be more awkward in the long run.

mrandmrsbadass

@ Sugargirl1019 I got you. I guess BBQ meet and greet to celebrate our engagement and announce it to family that does not yet know. No, your right we are not expecting gifts. Thank you :-)

climbingsingle

Well, from the small details you've posted, I can see how your brother and father see that as disrespectful. Has your FI made an effort to get to know your family?

Maggie0829

It is rude of your FI to not even acknowledge your brother or Father when they are in your home.  It is called common courtesy.  Your FI doesn't need to like your family but he should respect them enough to say hello to them when he sees them.  So I can see why your brother and Father do not like him.

freebread03

It's strange that your FI won't say hi to your brother or your father when they are over at your house...or that he refuses to come out of his room.  That's just rude.  I also think its a little much that they've decided to disown you over this one thing...there has got to be more to this story.

QueerFemme

mrandmrsbadass said:

@Addie73 Thank you for responding to my post. I am 31. I think you answered my question that anyone or no one can walk me down the aisle. Yes I am throwing our own engagment bbq/ party. My brother and my father as of yesterday have disowned me because I am going to marry my dear husband to be. According to my brother, him and my father think that husband to be is shady because " his actions around the house( keeping to himself)" my brother continues on by saying "when he leaves the bedroom and dosent say hi that's shady...when he dosent leave his room at all when we are there is disrespectful ..." So yeah .. You can see the problem

Your brother and father are right.   Keeping to yourself and being shy are one thing. Igorning your partner's family member when they are over is completely rude.