Pre-wedding Parties

What exactly is a "cash shower"?!

So I'm hoping someone on here can answer this for me. I received an invitation in the mail for a bridal shower for my soon-to-be SIL (she is marrying my husband's brother). There was no registry information included in the invite, which is fine of course. I called the hostess to RSVP, and left her a message that I would be attending & also asked if she could please let me know if the couple had registered anywhere. She texted me this morning, stating "No they aren't registered anywhere. It is a cash shower."
What the hell....? I assume this means guests are expected to only give money? I actually already went out & bought them a gift, should I return it & just put cash in a card instead? What other oddities should I expect from this shower?
I'm sorry, this just seems so tastless and tacky. If they don't actually need gifts, why even have a shower? Isn't that what stag parties are for?
If anyone has ever taken part in a cash shower, thanks for helping me figure out what exactly is appropriate for me to do here.

Re: What exactly is a "cash shower"?!

  • @emmyg65, that's so funny, that's exactly what i said to my husband. We're supposed to shower her with gifts, not make it rain! *sigh*
    grumbledore
  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    I would seriously just RSVP no. 

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    grumbledoredoeydo
  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    It's some fraganackle bull. That's what it is. Do not return your gift. Bring it and enjoy. I'm sure you won't be the only one who does.

    What else can you expect from this shower?

    1. A follow-up e-mail from the hostess telling you what dish you are to bring.
    2. Being asked to address your own Thank You card at the shower.
    3. Probably not even being invited to the wedding after all this, or being invited as your husband's "Plus One".

    grumbledoreMairePoppysnysilver
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Ah, so rude!  Just say no.  Or if you really want to go, bring the gift you already got.

    I got talked into going to a cash shower (complete with tacky poem invite insert) for a family friend of Fi's and gave a $25 check.  I still regret going along with any of that nonsense.

    The MOB hired a male stripper though, so that was good for a horrified laugh.  I left early.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • @scribe95, I called to RSVP & had to leave the hostess a voicemail, which I asked her to get back to me about the registry. I didn't hear back right away, did a little searching online for a registry but didn't find one, so just went & picked something up. I assumed they didn't register anywhere when I couldn't find anything online. I did not assume I was being invited to the shower to pay for my seat at the wedding.
    I know I sound a little crazy for shopping before hearing back, but here's the quick timeline of all this: I got the invite on Wed for the shower that is next Sunday. That's correct, a week & a half away. I called on Fri to RSVP & left that message, but since I have a 9 month old son & I work full time, my opportunities for gift shopping before next weekend are a little limited. When I didn't hear back from the hostess I just went out & got something on Sat.The hostess got back to me the next day with her "cash shower" message.
    I also got a text message today from my husband's aunt, who asked me if I want to put my cash in their card, or if I'm doing my "own thing". So apparently not only is the groom's family not giving gifts, we're not even springing for our own $3 greeting cards. I declined.
    @chibiyui, I wish I knew about that rooster sooner... although that's a good idea for any occasion really.
    Thanks for your replies ladies. Not sure why I care so much about etiquette when no one else involved with this shower does. Some habits just die hard I guess.
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    snysilver said:
    @scribe95, I called to RSVP & had to leave the hostess a voicemail, which I asked her to get back to me about the registry. I didn't hear back right away, did a little searching online for a registry but didn't find one, so just went & picked something up. I assumed they didn't register anywhere when I couldn't find anything online. I did not assume I was being invited to the shower to pay for my seat at the wedding. I know I sound a little crazy for shopping before hearing back, but here's the quick timeline of all this: I got the invite on Wed for the shower that is next Sunday. That's correct, a week & a half away. I called on Fri to RSVP & left that message, but since I have a 9 month old son & I work full time, my opportunities for gift shopping before next weekend are a little limited. When I didn't hear back from the hostess I just went out & got something on Sat.The hostess got back to me the next day with her "cash shower" message. I also got a text message today from my husband's aunt, who asked me if I want to put my cash in their card, or if I'm doing my "own thing". So apparently not only is the groom's family not giving gifts, we're not even springing for our own $3 greeting cards. I declined. @chibiyui, I wish I knew about that rooster sooner... although that's a good idea for any occasion really. Thanks for your replies ladies. Not sure why I care so much about etiquette when no one else involved with this shower does. Some habits just die hard I guess.
    Keep fighting the good fight.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    GlitterWitch22snysilverdoeydolc07
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I wouldn't go, but Beyonce rooster is always a good option.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    chibiyui
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    eileenrob said:
    Ah, so rude!  Just say no.  Or if you really want to go, bring the gift you already got.

    I got talked into going to a cash shower (complete with tacky poem invite insert) for a family friend of Fi's and gave a $25 check.  I still regret going along with any of that nonsense.

    The MOB hired a male stripper though, so that was good for a horrified laugh.  I left early.
    ^ I would've given my cash to the stripper..
    Yup.  Hey, at least they warned you to bring cash (I don't usually carry cash).
    image

    But seriously, would some shower guests not just drop down dead?  I can't imagine my what Grandma's face would be like...
    image
    chibiyui
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