Snarky Brides

Some sort of online forum "attack"

I've had quite the evening on TK. I deleted a post on the snarky brides board and some people were quite annoyed. I explained that I deleted it because I didn't feel it advanced any sort of useful conversation (the topic was wedding budgets and over-consumption). Rather than engaging with the substance of my post, some knotties commented on how they were so annoyed with me because I had deleted another post this week. I was repeatedly told that deleting posts is "rude". 

Honestly, I fail to see how deleting a post is rude. As I wrote in another post, advice on a very individual question (i.e. how does this dress look on me) certainly will not help others. As for it being somehow against the spirit of online forums because others like to see what has been posted, there is plenty of content to go around - no one needs to see me in a dress. 

I was also told that "proselytizing" is rude - that is exactly why I deleted the post about wedding budgets and over-consumption. I didn't think it would advance any sort of useful conversation and this wasn't the appropriate forum to have such a discussion.

I am shocked that some of you would take the time to go around to a bunch of discussions I participated in and "quote" me. Seriously? That's so much more rude than action I have taken - I have not "attacked" any individual directly. 

Some of you will noticed that I have since deleted some of my posts.

I joined The Knot thinking it would be a great way to share experiences and advice with other brides. I'm so disappointed at today's events because they do not at all coincide with these hopes. I sincerely hope that my future experience will be more positive.










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Re: Some sort of online forum "attack"

  • emilie250emilie250 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    Since posting this, I have actually requested that my membership be cancelled. I can seek/offer support and advice from/to friends and family. 

    Good luck with all your wedding planning! I wish each of you a happy marriage!
  • Well, Rebl90, your actions confirmed to me that I have absolutely no desire to be part of this community.
  • Well, Rebl90, your actions confirmed to me that I have absolutely no desire to be part of this community.
    My actions? And how did they confirm this choice for you?  Because here we keep people accountable for what they say, and you, as you have pointed out yourself, have already tried to delete posts.  
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    jenniferursdoeydos-aries8990
  • Your actions = quoting what I said. It confirmed my choice because yet again I see that the command "do not delete posts" is more important than anything else. No one who responded acknowledged the reasons for which I deleted the posts, which were actually thought out. 
  • That was officially my last post, though it will apparently take up to three days until my account is deleted. Ciao!!!
  • It is rude to walk away from conversations period. Doesn't matter if the conversation is via email, text, online forums, fave to face, or whatever. That is the point.

    If you can't handle being rebuked for obviously rude behavior and lacking etiquette, then so be it.

    Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!
  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Deleting a post is like hanging up on someone. The problem is, it frequently happens when a newbie posts something and doesn't get the expected response, then goes and deletes their post. When you post something, you should stand behind it. It's far more acceptable for someone to post again on the thread and say "I see what you all mean, what I posted was kind of silly, never mind". You can find about a billion threads where a flame fest was diffused by the OP saying something like that. 

    Deleting or severely editing a post is completely banned on another forum I post on for this reason. It's cowardly. If you think TK is the only forum that doesn't appreciate that kind of behavior, try it on another one and see what happens. 

    I understand that you had somewhat better intentions than that, but if you aren't willing to learn the ways of proper forum posting, then yes, it's great that you're moving on. 
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    pinkshorts27Amyzen83jenniferursdoeydo
  • This board is called snarky brides and we certainly live up to that name
    rajahmdAmyzen83RebeccaB88s-aries8990
  • Femme - I sent you a private message with some hopefully helpful guidance and advice for your wedding planning. :-) Just relax, avoid this community and good look with your wedding! 
  • abbyj700 said:
    Femme - I sent you a private message with some hopefully helpful guidance and advice for your wedding planning. :-) Just relax, avoid this community and good look with your wedding! 
    ...wait, what?

    "Avoid this community"?  The community that you're a member of, if nothing else?

    I hope the "helpful guidance" you gave Flouncing Flo up there was to go join WeddingBee or WeddingWire. 
    She is not happy with the advice or guidance she is getting here. She feels attacked and upset. You think my advice should be for her to stay? I'm a member here because I can get what I need out of it without getting upset. Different folks have different needs. 

    And I've never been on WeddingBee or WeddingWire's forums- so no. 
    ark155
  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    abbyj700 said:




    abbyj700 said:

    Femme - I sent you a private message with some hopefully helpful guidance and advice for your wedding planning. :-) Just relax, avoid this community and good look with your wedding! 

    ...wait, what?

    "Avoid this community"?  The community that you're a member of, if nothing else?

    I hope the "helpful guidance" you gave Flouncing Flo up there was to go join WeddingBee or WeddingWire. 

    She is not happy with the advice or guidance she is getting here. She feels attacked and upset. You think my advice should be for her to stay? I'm a member here because I can get what I need out of it without getting upset. Different folks have different needs. 

    And I've never been on WeddingBee or WeddingWire's forums- so no. 



    The reason those were mentioned were because they are forums known to have members with extremely poor etiquette. Many people on the forums encourage ppds, cash bars, etc. And many people, after not finding their (usually rude) ideas validated here, run to those boards for validation and then complain about how rude the ladies in the knot are.


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    mimiphinshaylagirlAmyzen83doeydo
  • Pardon my ignorance, but what the hell is a "PPD?"  I've seen it several times now and can't seem to figure out what it stands for.
  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer

    Pardon my ignorance, but what the hell is a "PPD?"  I've seen it several times now and can't seem to figure out what it stands for.

    Pretty princess day. Basically if you are already married and host a redo "wedding".


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    Amyzen83
  • @blueeyes90, gotcha.  Thanks for clarifying!  :)
  • You do realize you can leave an online community without announcing that you are leaving?

    Not without a dramatic huff and getting the final word in a melodramatic, temper-tantrum fashion.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    pinkshorts27jenniferurs[Deleted User]PolarBearFitz
  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    You do realize you can leave an online community without announcing that you are leaving?

    Not without a dramatic huff and getting the final word in a melodramatic, temper-tantrum fashion.
    I think it's part of the TOS.
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    rajahmdjenniferurs
  • Maybe the OP should fill out one of these and file it with management...
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    Amyzen83[Deleted User]erinlin25
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