Snarky Brides

Reception Ideas

So, my FI and I were talking over dinner the other night. He mentioned something about maybe "B Listing" a few people, though he didn't call it that. I told him that that is a big no no. We have since planned the most fantastically horrible wedding ever. Here goes: invitations sent in batches (A list, B list) instructing guests what to wear. The ceremony of course will only have 50 seats for the 100 guests and will start at least half an hour late, because "this is my day and they can all wait on me." A receiving line will follow with FI and myself sitting at our sweetheart table. Guests will file in front of us and must present us their gifts (because everyone knows they are a REQUIREMENT, not freely given). We will open the gift in front of the person/couple/family (who should have brought something to our potluck reception as well) and rate the gift on a a scale of 1-10. All like numbers will then be sat together. FI and I will then cut the cake and eat it, because there will only be one cupcake and no guests get cake. Yay! So glad we have everything planned now! ;) (For the record, the only statement that rings true from the above is that we will have a sweetheart table) So now, what was the worst "feature" you've ever had to deal with at a wedding?
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Re: Reception Ideas

  • I was at a wedding where the bride was an HOUR late. That was pretty bad. Also went to one where the bridal party were given brooms/mops and made to clean the reception hall while the bride went to a bar.
    But if you want really bad weddings, check out the worst wedding thread.

  • Your post made me smile, but I have a genuine question about A and B lists. I always thought B-list was when you had all your RSVPs and many declines and you wanted to fill the empty seats with people you couldn't afford to invite in your A-list. Is it ? 

    Simply wondering because we're kinda stuck in a weird situation right now. After much thinking, much calculating and many headaches, we finally decided on a guest list that is 56 guests + us = 58. Unfortunately, 3 of our guests died in 2013 (we both lost a grandmother and FI's uncle died after a long sickness). My grandfather is turning 90 soon, although I hope he will be there, it wouldn't surprise me if he declined. My sister split from her SO, and so did 2 of my cousins. The venue we've just signed is asking for a minimum of 60 guests to rent the place, which we obviously don't have. So we're left wondering if we shouldn't just review the entire list and invite more people, or just go with the flow and pay the penalty for missing guests. On the bright side, it would allow us to have a few friends at our wedding (we decided not to include any on our initial guest list because FI's family is so large, it was already tough to trim down the list). The fact they were not on the first guest list we had, does that mean they're automatically B-listed ? Or as long as everybody receives the invites at the same time, there's no such thing as A-B lists, just constant ''in progress'' list until the invites are printed and sent out ? 

    I guess this also answers your question. This is by far the toughest ''feature'' I've had to deal with, cutting down people from my list, and then having to review the list and feeling bad/guilty for adding people I had previously cut for financial reasons. 
  • @OnceUponSnow You would be fine to add more guests; B listing is when you send out invites to your top people, and once you get back declines you send out a new round. That's not what you're doing.

    @Artemischief My favorite wedding was the one where at the reception there was seating for 60 of the 200+ guests. And did I mention that I was in the bridal party? So after standing for the entire ceremony and the picture taking I had to stand to eat my dinner.
  • OnceUponSnowOnceUponSnow member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    Thanks for your input. I wasn't sure I understood A-B lists correctly. I would be concerned my guests would feel terrible if they knew they were there to fill empty seats because they received an invite 3 weeks prior to the wedding ... plus with the social medias now, it's so easy for them to know they were B-listed. Not something I'd be willing to do. :S


  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited May 2014
    Ever been voluntold to set up the seating for the ceremony right before the wedding? FI was. And that wedding had NO seating or tables at cocktail hour, on a rough hewn wood floor. And they only told certain people that the alcohol menu didn't list all the alcohol they were serving - so us non-special people were only given a choice of beer, really bad wine, and paint thinner... I mean, super cheap vodka.

    2 hour gap, spent drinking in the venue parking lot because despite the church only being 15 minutes away, the reception venue wasn't going to be available for 2 more hours and wouldn't even let people in to use the restroom. FI was a groomsman in that wedding, and despite the fact that they were required to show up for pictures 6 hours before the start of the ceremony, no food or beverage was provided for the WP until the cocktail hour - 9 hours after they arrived for photos. And when we finally were allowed in to the reception, we were set up in an "L" shaped room with the dancefloor in the corner and the rest of the guests in the long part of the room... while we were by ourselves at a table on the short side of the room. (Another couple showed up later, but we were literally the only table set up on that side of the room.)

    FI and I went to a wedding on a Thursday evening 2 hours from home. In late September. The bride kept us waiting for over 30 minutes while we all sat outside. In the rain.

    ETA: Are you proud of yourself? You "figured out" who I am on the internet! Impressive.
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Don't forget to have a long, unhosted gap where you do something classy, like go barhopping with the WP. True story.
    image
    ArtemischiefHisGirlFriday13Marzipan13
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    And a cash bar. Bonus points for extra high pricing.
    ~*~*~*~*~

    grumbledore
  • Ohhhhh, I'm getting some good ideas! I'll have to run them by FI and see what he thinks ;)
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  • And a cash bar. Bonus points for extra high pricing.
    Free for the BP though right?
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    HisGirlFriday13grumbledoreMarzipan13rajahmd
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    And a cash bar. Bonus points for extra high pricing.
    Free for the BP though right?
    Oh, of course! And everyone who donated at least $1000 at the Stag & Doe get 2 free drink tickets!
    ~*~*~*~*~

    grumbledorerajahmd
  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    You could just go here for some ideas  (warning, that link takes you to another forum).



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  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    Don't forget to have your guests pay for their own meals at the rehersal dinner- that happened at a wedding and RD I recently attended. I wasn't in the wedding party, but was good friends with bride and was a last minute invite to RD. She's a total sweetie, (her mom was the one who directed the staff to split up bills) so I didn't hold it against her.

    grumbledore
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I love my bestie dearly, but her wedding started almost an hour late because her sash was left at her house. She refused to walk down the aisle without it.

    Fortunately that gave us extra time to work on my BM dress, which groom's mother hadn't actually finished in time. I went down the aisle with safety pins holding one side of my dress up. Good thing there was a massive bow to hide them!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Picture this: late July in New York. It's 98 degrees. Crazy humidity. Outdoor ceremony at a park. Sitting in the hot sun in our fancy clothes. No shade. Bride is an hour late. 

    Finally get to reception. They barely have the AC cranking. We were all sweaty messes. During the bouquet toss, I refused to get up. I'm divorced and I was with a date. So the bride had the DJ call me by name to come up and participate. I wanted to die. 

    I was the designated driver. There was a DUI checkpoint. What normally was a 15 minute drive home took over an hour because of all the traffic. Obviously not the B&G's fault, but it just added to the shitshow that the night became. 

  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    Picture this: late July in New York. It's 98 degrees. Crazy humidity. Outdoor ceremony at a park. Sitting in the hot sun in our fancy clothes. No shade. Bride is an hour late. 

    Finally get to reception. They barely have the AC cranking. We were all sweaty messes. During the bouquet toss, I refused to get up. I'm divorced and I was with a date. So the bride had the DJ call me by name to come up and participate. I wanted to die. 

    I was the designated driver. There was a DUI checkpoint. What normally was a 15 minute drive home took over an hour because of all the traffic. Obviously not the B&G's fault, but it just added to the shitshow that the night became. 
    This is the reason I refuse to do a bouquet toss.

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    image
    Marzipan13
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Your post made me smile, but I have a genuine question about A and B lists. I always thought B-list was when you had all your RSVPs and many declines and you wanted to fill the empty seats with people you couldn't afford to invite in your A-list. Is it ? 

    Simply wondering because we're kinda stuck in a weird situation right now. After much thinking, much calculating and many headaches, we finally decided on a guest list that is 56 guests + us = 58. Unfortunately, 3 of our guests died in 2013 (we both lost a grandmother and FI's uncle died after a long sickness). My grandfather is turning 90 soon, although I hope he will be there, it wouldn't surprise me if he declined. My sister split from her SO, and so did 2 of my cousins. The venue we've just signed is asking for a minimum of 60 guests to rent the place, which we obviously don't have. So we're left wondering if we shouldn't just review the entire list and invite more people, or just go with the flow and pay the penalty for missing guests. On the bright side, it would allow us to have a few friends at our wedding (we decided not to include any on our initial guest list because FI's family is so large, it was already tough to trim down the list). The fact they were not on the first guest list we had, does that mean they're automatically B-listed ? Or as long as everybody receives the invites at the same time, there's no such thing as A-B lists, just constant ''in progress'' list until the invites are printed and sent out ? 

    I guess this also answers your question. This is by far the toughest ''feature'' I've had to deal with, cutting down people from my list, and then having to review the list and feeling bad/guilty for adding people I had previously cut for financial reasons. 
    Often, if you do not fulfill your minimum quota, a venue will allow you to use that money to upgrade menu or beverage items. If you are having an evening reception, you could use that cost differential to offer a late night snack. You don't necessarily have to " toss that money out the window".
  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Picture this: late July in New York. It's 98 degrees. Crazy humidity. Outdoor ceremony at a park. Sitting in the hot sun in our fancy clothes. No shade. Bride is an hour late. 

    Finally get to reception. They barely have the AC cranking. We were all sweaty messes. During the bouquet toss, I refused to get up. I'm divorced and I was with a date. So the bride had the DJ call me by name to come up and participate. I wanted to die. 

    I was the designated driver. There was a DUI checkpoint. What normally was a 15 minute drive home took over an hour because of all the traffic. Obviously not the B&G's fault, but it just added to the shitshow that the night became. 
    This is the reason I refuse to do a bouquet toss.

    *BOX*
    FMIL was stunned I wasn't doing one. I was like - um, we are in our 30s. Our friends are mostly married with kids. Who wants to be the token person singled out on the dance floor in front of everyone?! Rude.
    image
    pinkshorts27CrazyCatLady3FLDiver
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm not doing the bouquet toss either. I really, really hate it. 

  • I like the bouquet toss and was looking forward to it for my wedding...until I did the "math", lol.  I had a small wedding and, with the exception of one of my friends, all the other single ladies were either under the age of 13 or over the age of 60.  Not that I would ever side-eye a grandma for trying to catch a bouquet, but I quickly put a kibosh on the the idea.
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  • Cash weddings are always classy affairs.   You should also tyry to have food that is offensive to your guests.   Serve your Hindu guests beef and Kosher guests bacon.  You should also include a little rhyming poem about not bringing your kids to the wedding
  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    You could just go here for some ideas  (warning, that link takes you to another forum).


    Oh. My. God. I've only gotten through one page of that and already I want to throw up a little bit. I can't believe people would throw weddings like that in real life and be THAT selfish.
  • ClimbingBrideNY blueeyes90

    About the bouquet toss:  Thank you for reminding me about this. I do plan on tossing mine since I will have some young unmarried girls who I think would like it, but I am going to remember to instruct my MC ahead of time not to force anyone out onto the floor. If it's just a bunch of kids and young teens who run out on the floor that's fine by me.
    image
    japrincess24
  • mobkaz said:
    Your post made me smile, but I have a genuine question about A and B lists. I always thought B-list was when you had all your RSVPs and many declines and you wanted to fill the empty seats with people you couldn't afford to invite in your A-list. Is it ? 

    Simply wondering because we're kinda stuck in a weird situation right now. After much thinking, much calculating and many headaches, we finally decided on a guest list that is 56 guests + us = 58. Unfortunately, 3 of our guests died in 2013 (we both lost a grandmother and FI's uncle died after a long sickness). My grandfather is turning 90 soon, although I hope he will be there, it wouldn't surprise me if he declined. My sister split from her SO, and so did 2 of my cousins. The venue we've just signed is asking for a minimum of 60 guests to rent the place, which we obviously don't have. So we're left wondering if we shouldn't just review the entire list and invite more people, or just go with the flow and pay the penalty for missing guests. On the bright side, it would allow us to have a few friends at our wedding (we decided not to include any on our initial guest list because FI's family is so large, it was already tough to trim down the list). The fact they were not on the first guest list we had, does that mean they're automatically B-listed ? Or as long as everybody receives the invites at the same time, there's no such thing as A-B lists, just constant ''in progress'' list until the invites are printed and sent out ? 

    I guess this also answers your question. This is by far the toughest ''feature'' I've had to deal with, cutting down people from my list, and then having to review the list and feeling bad/guilty for adding people I had previously cut for financial reasons. 
    Often, if you do not fulfill your minimum quota, a venue will allow you to use that money to upgrade menu or beverage items. If you are having an evening reception, you could use that cost differential to offer a late night snack. You don't necessarily have to " toss that money out the window".
    I didn't know we could do that ! Thanks.
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