Snarky Brides

2.5 weeks to go, and inner bridezilla is bitching...

Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

I've made a hell of an effort not to make things about me and 'my daaay'. gag. But now I'm starting to get annoyed/stressed and praying Evil Chipmunk or the part of me I call bridezilla do not make a command performance.

1) RSVPs are due today. We've about 8 outstanding on FI's side, 3 on mine. We've got tentative verbals on several, but not confirmation. We gave everyone a little more than the 6-8 weeks of normal response time by sending them out a little earlier to account for possible delays in mail due to snowpacalypse/Christmas mail. I need to get the final count to our coordinator, as she's also printing up my place cards for me, and this way I can pay in advance for the meals and appies.  I've an acquaintance attending who I grudgingly gave a plus one to after she wouldn't stop bitching about not having anyone to talk to (seriously, you're 26 and a lawyer- you can make small talk for a few hours). She then had a bf, fine, but they've since broken up, and she's whining about who she should bring with her. She also wants me to pick her outfit for the wedding. WTF. You're not a child, dress yourself, I've enough going on.

2) FI said he invited aunt and uncle who are driving grandparents to RD. Turns out he hadn't, but has been fixing that, apologizing to them and assuring them they are definitely invited. Here's the kicker- the uncle is supposed to make the hotel arrangements for himself, his wife, and his parents, and to our knowledge, has yet to do so, despite the fact that we had a block of rooms at a hotel at a discount (booking deadline has passed), and despite the fact that we WARNED everyone repeatedly that the legislature would be starting session at that time, places are booking fast and are pricey. We also found out they may not start driving down from Atlanta until Friday afternoon (no work obligations preventing them from leaving Friday morning, even late morning), thus possibly missing the RD. The implication I'm getting is the uncle is lazy, doesn't like getting up before 8 am, and drives when he feels like it. Inner witch is very upset, after all the hills I had to die on regarding the RD and limiting the guest list, that 4 people may not make it because of this.

3) STILL haven't gotten the one photo I requested from my mom. Dad is still trying to play sticky paws, but hasn't said anything to me about his desire a) to have a damn collage of photos of me, my side, and him or b) make nametags for all.

4) Having dinner with FI's folks on Thursday. FI's dad wants me to make sure his suit is fine for the wedding/does he need a different color tie, etc. My Jedi talents are telling me there's something else going on, but I'm concerned it's paranoia.

5) Asked a friend to give a speech at our wedding. She's been calling herself "unofficial moh"- umm no. We decided only to have flower girls bc nieces would otherwise be devestated. No adults in bridal party aside from FI and myself. She's apparently plotting something at my venue during or prior to my wedding, as in, day of. She won't tell me what it is. I've asked her to tell me, as I've got a lot on my plate and can't be worrying about whatever stunt she's trying to pull. I may need to talk to venue coordinator to find out what the hell is going on. I'm at that "little bit of time to go, now hit the red panic button" point. This is not good.

 

Thanks for listening. I need wine. Lots and lots of wine.

Re: 2.5 weeks to go, and inner bridezilla is bitching...

  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
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    Oh sweet heavens. Girl, you deserve a drink.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    No surprises on a wedding day. That sounds terrible.

    Sorry you are having a rough time! That is tough. Hopefully things calm down :)
    image
    Marzipan13doeydo
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Cookie- screw the glass, just give me the bottle
    KeptInStitcheschibiyui
  • Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    edited February 2014
    I think you should start the morning off with a mimosa and an Irish cream coffee, then wait for it to all settle and for lunch and dinner have 2 bottles of whisky
    Chipmunk415chibiyui
  • Also just breath and keep reminding yourself that at the end of the day you are marrying your best friend and all this other bs is fluff! Congratulations in your upcoming wedding btw! Hugs and wine coming your way
  • tell your coordinator to undo any of these potential threats if they happen - she can likely get rid of everything on the day of before you even realize that it happened.  especially if you're the one paying her (and not your dad).  If your dad is paying her, you may be stuck with the weird collage.

    doeydo
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    del, Dad is paying for things, but I only know about the possible collage due to my mom warning me. Dad has yet to say a word. I'm hoping if it comes up, I can say "sorry, the decorations are all done, and there's no place to put it. I appreciate the thought." Of course, that might start a nuclear meltdown, but so be it.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I really hope your friend isn't planning some surprise. Ugh. Those are the worst. 

    And your other friend wants you to dress her? WTF. This reminds me of when my friend got married. She's a hairdresser. She had people calling and asking if she could their hair for her wedding. ON HER WEDDING DAY. 

    Mandafly84WildMagelet
  • MadHops21MadHops21 Buried in blankets member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    Evil Chipmunk coming out soon? 
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 
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    PolarBearFitz
  • I really hope your friend isn't planning some surprise. Ugh. Those are the worst. 

    And your other friend wants you to dress her? WTF. This reminds me of when my friend got married. She's a hairdresser. She had people calling and asking if she could their hair for her wedding. ON HER WEDDING DAY. 
    Whaaaaaaaaaat???!!!?!

    That takes a certain level of dipshit.

    Chipmunk, I think you're keeping things together quite well!  As for the friend who wants you to help dress her, I think you should be super snarky and say something like, "Ooooh, actually, I'm busy that day.  I could help you get dressed the following Wednesday!"

    Deep breaths.  And wine. Lots, and lots of wine.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    Amyzen83
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'll admit, evil Chipmunk made a minor appearance when acquaintance in first issue (the one who wants me to pick out her outfit) was waffling on whether to invite the guy she just broke up with, or the ex boyfriend who treated her horribly on and off through law school, whom FI and I have met all of 3 times, and is trying to move in on her on the rebound. 

    Not etiquette appropriate, but when she was going on how he was pushing her to invite him bc he wanted to attend our wedding, I finally told her FI and I really didn't like this guy, mostly because of his poor treatment of her.

     I later apologized, but I'm not the first person to tell her this, and she understood. She's now coming solo, and I'm placing her with a bunch of lawyer friends.

    Still explaining the difference to FI between his calling and confirming yea or nay with people vs his dad/grandma/stepmom saying "so and so says they arent coming" I've one more on my side, called and left a message. Working on some thank you notes now.
  • Mandafly84Mandafly84 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    I really hope your friend isn't planning some surprise. Ugh. Those are the worst. 

    And your other friend wants you to dress her? WTF. This reminds me of when my friend got married. She's a hairdresser. She had people calling and asking if she could their hair for her wedding. ON HER WEDDING DAY. 

    No lie, on the day I got married my mom got annoyed with me that I wouldn't / couldn't do her makeup. I'm pretty good so I did my own but HELLO I had many other things occupying my time that day. And she threw a mini hissy fit because I couldn't do her false lashes. Can't make this stuff up.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    Well, got verbals on rsvps...all but one couple on my side, friends of my parents. Called and left a message at 4 pm eastern, 3 their time. No response. They're down as a not attending.

    FI got a call from his cousin. Seems cousin forgot to put teenager down as attending (despite the fact that the invitation was to Mr. and Mrs X. Not X family. Not Mr. and Mrs. X and Son) and wanted to add last minute. Said call came in 3 minutes after I finished carefully crafting seating chart so we have a good mix of people who will get along well together.  I was in "I don't give a shit anymore" mode and said fine, made them tell me what the kid would eat.

    Said cousin is then asking questions about how to get to the venue. 1) The address is on the invite. Google maps is your friend, the venue website has a map and directions, and you have stated you go everywhere using your smart phone map app. 2) I put step by step directions from the main interstate intersection up to the venue on the website. 3) This information is being copied and placed in the welcome bags.

    Cousin is then bitching about hotel prices. Umm, you had MONTHS to get a hotel using the block- we sent STDs after we made the block, about 6 months ago. Block deadline expired 12 days ago. Not my problem.

    Cousin finishes with a "well, if there's anything we can do to help, let us knooow." I had to leave the room. I hate it when I spend a lot of time planning something, and then last minute someone comes waltzing up offering to help. It always feels insincere, like they're not trying to help me, they want to get rid of guilty feelings of having done jack, and often times, my carefully laid plans get destroyed.

  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2014

    aaaand I just got a call from the couple on my side.

     He's "trying his hardest" to attend, but they are still making travel arrangments. Depending on those arrangements, his wife may or may not be attending. Was waffling. I finally politely said I needed to get the final numbers to my venue.

    Also asked what he wanted to eat. Apparently he doesn't care.

    Fine, chicken for you.

    There were also some comments asking what everyone's supposed to do after the reception ends at 3 pm, and criticizing FI's and my choice to go to DC for a week afterwards. I did not go BSC on him, but did go to the office of one of our paralegals afterwards (she and I get along great) and borrowed her stress relief play-dough for about 10 minutes after I got off the call.

     

    I need bourbon. By the barrel.

    [Deleted User]WildMagelet
  • Chipmunk, I feel you.  We're just about 3 weeks away - RSVP deadline was last week, and on the deadline, we were missing RSVPs from 100 guests (invited 300).  Now, after Facebook messaging and texting and emailing awkwardly (um... the invite you got a month ago that requested an RSVP by last week...) - we are missing 60 still.

    As for your friend planning something...  do people really not understand that no means no?  I'd tell her frankly that you don't want to be surprised with something on that day.  I want to think that she's just talking about a big gift from a group of friends/coworkers... but you can be frank because she's being so weird.

    The couple on your side that doesn't understand why RSVPing matters... if it gets to where you need to let your caterer, etc know - you could tell him that if you don't know by x date you won't be able to accommodate him.  That sucks and is blunt... but might motivate people to make some firmer plans.

    We're here for you... it'll be crazy for a couple weeks but then it'll be your big day and these things will all fall into the past :)
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    @Cookie- you are my new favorite person (shh, don't tell FI)

    Regarding the couple on my side- the husband has been told I have to have the count by tomorrow. He's getting on it. What's annoying is he DOES know better. I also feel like he's only coming because of a meetting of purposes....sit back and relax, it's story time!

    This couple (we'll call them the Joneses) are friends of my Dads. Specifically, Mr. Jones and my Dad were speedskating buddies in high school, and later in the Marines together. A little over 15 years ago, Mr. Jones called my Dad (the doctor) after coughing up blood. Brought Mr. Jones to FL to Shands and the VA in Gainesville, where they discovered a huge cancerous tumor at the base of his tongue. Rather than removing his jaw, they radiated the hell out of it. He now has no saliva glands, has to drink water often, but he's been cancer free ever since.

    The hospital wants him to come in- he's one of their biggest success stories for that type of cancer and treatment, and do a write up on him, sort of a where are they now. Just so happens the week they want to do it is the weds/thurs/friday before my wedding, 2.5 hrs from Shands. So it's convenient, so he's coming.

    I know for a fact that he knows the importance of RSVPs- 8 years ago, his eldest daughter married into the Busch family. The BEER Busch family. She did everything by the etiquette book, and he mentioned her freaking out over RSVPs. He knows better, he's just taking his sweet time. Grr....

  • edited February 2014

    I'm very impressed that you have the restraint to avoid pointing out to these people how inconsiderate they are...  I get trying to be gracious and keep the peace but omg already. 

    So so inconsiderate.

     

     

  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Chipmunk, I commend you. I would've lit something on fire by now. *sends Internet alcohol*

  • I am so in the same head space right now. It is miserable, but we're almost there!
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  •   This is exactly we decided on an immediate family only destination wedding! Thanks for confirming I made the right choice!
  • Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 at the corner of Wine Ave. and Margarita Ln. member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    uhhh.....you're welcome?
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