Can we discuss parents and social media?

SJM7538

I don't have kids. But i would like to hear opinions on this. There isn't really a point to this post... I'm just looking for something to discuss. Work is slow.

I noticed yesterday that my sister posted 8 videos of my nephew on instragram throughout the day. Adorable... Absolutely. I could watch them all day.

So it got me thinking that some parents really do post every waking moment of their child's lives on social media.

Then this morning I checked my FB and one person posted a picture of their kid in the ER with a comment "please pray for our baby" (I think she had a broken bone) and another person posted a picture of their kid on the toilet followed up by a pic of their kids first crap in the toilet.

Now I don't have kids and I fully understand that you can post whatever you want on a public forum or media outlet. But to me some of it seems unnecessary. Thoughts and opinions?

PolarBearFitz

I find it way over done with a lot of people. I love kids but I am equating it now with people who take pictures of every meal they eat on instagram...

emmyg65

Kids, what you ate for breakfast, complaints about the weather, relationship issues, politics... I've unfollowed a fair number of people. Yeah, it's social media and you can share whatever you want, but there's something to be said for keeping your audience in mind.

Cokezerofreak

I don't mind the pictures or videos, it's the "I have the most wonderful son/daughter" generic pictures (pretty background, lots of words) that I'm pretty sick of.  I know you do, you don't have to share than 10 times a day.

Jells2dot0

I do not have kids, but I am with you on some people going overboard. I am friends with the person on my friend list, not the kids. I want to know what is going on with them as a person, but how many times their kid had a blow out in their diaper (I didn't even know what that was until FB.) I do feel badly if their entire life is now their children because as nice as it is to be a family, you are still an individual.

I also have issue with baby mama drama and the like. My SIL is always airing her arguments with her kids, ex-H, and BIL. Not the right forum for that at all.

AddieCake

I find the constant updates and pics annoying. I have one friend who posted a pic of her son's first pee in the toilet. Yes, it was a picture of pee in the toilet. Ridiculous.

JMalettas

 Ditto! I love kids, but it drives me insane seeing a play-by-play of their life on FB. Everything they eat, random babbling, random *anything.* I 'get' being proud of your kids, & thinking everything they do is adorable...but the rest of the world probably doesn't care about the 5 videos you posted today. I feel the exact same about people that post ALL day/every day about their dogs. Yes, I have dog pictures, or niece/nephew pictures that my SIL has tagged me in or w/e, on my FB-but then again it's not taking up everyone's news feeds!

 Now you've got me started....LOL!

 *J

AprilH81

I would hope that when (if) I become a mother I would have the good sense to keep the child in mind before I post things online.  No one needs to see pictures of a naked baby, a kid sitting on a toilet or anything else that could really embarrass the child in the future (as an adult, not just as a teen that get embarrassed by even having parents).

jenna8984

It's definitely out of control and one of the things I hate most about FB. I don't have kids and I find it so annoying. I almost want to defriend my own sister in law becasue she posts 18 pics a day of my sleeping newborn niece. In different outfits. Even my mother said "what does Steph do all day -just sit around changing the baby's wardrobe for pictures?!" 5 minutes after birth there was a picture posted with the baby on her bare chest- you couldn't see anything inappropriate but it was still like gross dude that's a private moment keep it that way.

Maggie0829

I have issues with those parents that use their kids pictures as their profile pictures.  Pretty sure the last time I checked this is your FB page not your kids.

I am not a parent but from what I have seen from other friends on FB is that parents (espeically Mothers) tend to lose themselves and then everything under the sun circles around their kid.  Now I know that children are everything to their parents but just because you are a parent doesn't mean that you still aren't you and you still don't have other interests or hobbies.  I want to see what is going on in your life, not every single waking moment of your kids.  I know kids are a big part of that life but are you telling me that you have absolutely nothing else going on in your own life except taking pictures of little Jimmy's first poop? 

AddieCake

Jenna, last year, one of my former students hired a pro photographer to take birthing pics. She posted one on FB of the baby held up with umbilical cord still attached.

jenna8984

Can we also discuss the hilarity that is OUR parents/grandparents generation on facebook.....they all comment like they are writing a letter "Jenna, this picture is very nice. Looks like you had a fun vacation. Miss you and hope to see you soon. Love, Aunt Jane." Cracks me up.

PolarBearFitz

AddieL73 said:

Jenna, last year, one of my former students hired a pro photographer to take birthing pics. She posted one on FB of the baby held up with umbilical cord still attached.

*shudder* birth freaks me out just thinking about it. I definitely don't want to see someone else's naked just birthed baby with their umbilical cord still attached...gross. Get that little one cleaned up and swaddled. Poor thing.

KytchynWitche

I have a friend who has two children. Her eldest is special needs, and I really do get that raising a special needs child is difficult - I was a special needs child myself, as was my brother - and that any time he makes progress with something she wants to burst from sheer pride, but I hid her from my feed about 5 years ago because I just couldn't take all the super-proud "guess who made boom boom in the potty!" (yes, accompanied by pictures), attention-seeking "giving up my life to take care of special needs baby", and angsty "just taken my baby to the hospital again" posts anymore. We went to school together, so she's on my "High School" list and I occasionally see her posts there. Now that her kids are both in school, her posts are primarily about how well they're doing, how helpful they are, or all the sacrifices she's made/is making to be a mother to these to and "stepmother" to her (never actually going to marry her) FI's daughter from a previous relationship.

I actually wrote a blog post about it, about 3 years ago, calling for Social Media Moms to stop and think about how these kids are going to feel in a decade or so, when they and their friends are using the internet themselves, and all these pictures and statuses are out there. Remembering, of course, that when we're in our dotage it's these same kids who are going to decide what facility to put us in.

Yes, when I was a kid almost all parents had naked-baby pictures of their kids, but they were generally sitting quietly in an album on a bookshelf or coffee table and not meant for public display, and when they WERE shown to anyone, we died of embarrassment. The problem with the internet is that once it's out there, there's no taking it back! Except now that I look for the blog post I wrote, I can't find it... Stupid internet.

SJM7538

Jenna my mom does that! It's hysterical. She had an entire conversation with someone via commenting on each others walls. I finally told her that it was all public and showed her how to message.

Maggie you are 100 percent spot on. The reason I keep certain people on FB is to stay in touch with them but then I have absolutely no idea what is going on with them bc all they ever post about is their kids!

I have to admit I'm guilty of posting pics of my dogs but I try to limit it to no more than one a day or less.

blabla89

AddieL73 said:

Jenna, last year, one of my former students hired a pro photographer to take birthing pics. She posted one on FB of the baby held up with umbilical cord still attached.

Wow - and I thought the ultrasound pictures were bad...

climbingsingle

Some people definitely go overboard. I'm not a kid person. I do find some of it cute. But 85 pictures every day of little Timmy is overkill. 

I also once had a dude post a picture of his son's first poop in his potty. Just what I wanted to see as I was eating lunch! 

WinstonsGirl

I'm not a fan.  These kids have huge internet profiles before they even have the chance to make that choice for themselves.  Plus, even if you're only sharing this with friends, stuff gets out and shared and who know who creepy is finding pictures of your 3 year old naked in the bath.  My SIL posts everything on FB and her blog.  I'm pretty sure that if someone really wanted, they could find where she lived and the names of her kids, etc.  Not cool with so many creepers out there, plus it's embarrassing for the kids when they're older

jenna8984

lalalaurita said:

AddieL73 said:

Jenna, last year, one of my former students hired a pro photographer to take birthing pics. She posted one on FB of the baby held up with umbilical cord still attached.

Wow - and I thought the ultrasound pictures were bad...

Yea that's seriously the most barf-worthy thing I've ever heard.

FiancB

jenna8984 said:

Can we also discuss the hilarity that is OUR parents/grandparents generation on facebook.....they all comment like they are writing a letter "Jenna, this picture is very nice. Looks like you had a fun vacation. Miss you and hope to see you soon. Love, Aunt Jane." Cracks me up.

Ha my mom does that. She also doesn't get the difference between what should be a status update, what should be posted on someone's wall, vs what should be a comment. Half my pictures have a comment from my mom like "dear FiancB, the weather here is very nice today. Obama's still a jerk. Love, mom". 

Maybe I'm just baby crazy but I don't really mind the kid stuff. I'm also fascinated by birth so a pic from right after delivery, even with umbilical cord, doesn't bother me. I do get that it doesn't really need to be on facebook though, and too much of even a good thing is too much. Pee/poo in the toilet? No. I get it's exciting to finally not have to change diapers anymore, but we don't need photographic evidence. 

JMalettas

AddieL73 said:

Jenna, last year, one of my former students hired a pro photographer to take birthing pics. She posted one on FB of the baby held up with umbilical cord still attached.

 That would definitely be a dry-heaving moment, right there..

sarahufl

Potty training, blow outs, pregnancy tests.....all HUGE pet peeves of mine. I love, love, love seeing pictures of my nieces and my friend's kids, but you have to be sensible about it. Nobody needs 50 pictures a day.

My sister takes TONS of pictures of her daughter but she keeps a Google+ album that is private for family and friends. She generally selects one really good one a day, writes a funny caption, and posts it to FB. It's all about moderation and being smart. I love seeing pictures of her playing with new toys or wearing something silly.

Sitting on the toilet? Not so much.

JMalettas

Bahhh..not letting me post pic

Has something changed as to adding a GIF? 

jaime232

Our friends just had a baby two weeks ago and have a pretty strict no-FB policy.  They just feel weird about their kiddo being on the internet.. FOREVER.  So, if people want to see pics, they visit or they text or something.  We survived years and years without needing to share all the small, personal milestones with pictures and posts, I think we can keep doing it.  

KatWAG

emmyg65 said:

Kids, what you ate for breakfast, complaints about the weather, relationship issues, politics... I've unfollowed a fair number of people. Yeah, it's social media and you can share whatever you want, but there's something to be said for keeping your audience in mind.

Ugh, thank goodness for that unfollow button. I work in politics and plenty of fb friends who consider themselves "experts" and post 7-10 times a day. Enough already. And shockingly, their posts are never bipartisan.

Another pet peeve of mine is people who use fb like its therapy. Posts like "I am down in the dumps, because SOMEBODY hasnt called me for a second date.... Is it all my fault?" and then 20 people chime in saying the guy is a loser and she is perfect. Gag.

JennyColada

I HATE the potty training pics. First of all: gross. Secondly: inappropriate.

I imagine that when I have kids I'll make a FB page for them and post pictures and statuses, because I think it would be cool to be able to look back on MY FB and see "Jenny said her first word today! Here's a video!" Or whatever.

But potty pics are certainly a no-go.

laceybird

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who cringes at ridiculous kid photos.

And no offense, but new moms are the worst offenders. We know you're excited about your baby, your first-born, but please spare us what SHOULD be considered personal moments.

Example, I had a friend who (like mentioned above), took a picture of her daughter with her potty in the back talking about her first time "using the big girl's potty". Weird enough in itself, but then she went on to apologize for the poop in the background, and that she just wanted to "document the occasion".

Hey, if you want to "document it", fine. But please keep it off Facebook.

It seems to me (at least among my FB friends), that new parents (particularly moms) have a switch in their brain that turns off immediately after their baby is born, and they are completely oblivious to the kinds of things people do NOT want to hear about, such as their baby's excrement or the fact that their nipples feel dried out ever since they started breastfeeding.

jdluvr06

I love love kids. I'm that person at family reunions who will run around and play with the kids, take friends kids to movies when the parents don't feel like it, and spoil my relative kids rotten. I hate the millions of picture people not only post on social media of their kids, but will pull out anytime you are out to dinner or going to a movie. Like I said I love kids but the only kids I could see pictures of over and over again are my nephews because they are the cutest things ever (I might be biased). My cousin and I have found a way to fight this though. Everytime someone starts showing us pictures of their kid we show off pictures of our pets. Seriously this works. You will get the snarky "are you really showing my pictures of a cat?" Comments but that is when you say "you made me look at pictures of your baby now you can look at pictures if mine".

emmyg65

I love STFU, Parents! I just have to be really, really careful mentioning that in real life because I've started submitting some of my friends' stuff, especially my insufferable sister-in-law. Shhhhh....

jdluvr06

This is a tiny bit off topic but it is obnoxious kid related... Well that isn't fair it is obnoxious parents not taking care of their kids. I hate going to places when parents are either a) acting like entitled asshats or b) letting their kids run around and do whatever they want. On days when I'm not a lab rat and on the museum floor I'm always having to tell at least one parent to keep their kids from touching the exhibit. One time I had to have security escort this mom and her kid out. The kid kept touching stuff and I had been nice and asked her to get the kid to stop several times but she didn't so I said they had to leave because we couldn't risk them hurting anything and she refused, so I called security. I think the worst place with parent entitlement issues is at the damn zoo. I take my nephews to the zoo all the time and people are just so rude. They have these huge oversized strollers full of crap for kids that can walk and don't want to be in the stroller anyway and then they stand there and block walkways. They let kids climb on the rails of the exhibits, which doesn't only annoy me but makes me a nervous wreck because I scared the kids will fall in or something. They let their kids bang on the glass. Actually I have a funny story about that. We were looking at the tigers and there were kids banging on the glass at the tiger, my nephew starts going up to other kids and telling them they should stop doing that because it was mean to the tiger and hurt the tiger's ears. The woman next to me, who didn't realize that was my nephew, said she felt bad for that kid because his parent's obviously didn't let him have fun. I told her I felt bad for the other kids because if the tiger gets out it will go for them first. ETA: sorry my paragraphs aren't working

KatWAG

I am so thankful I have never seen a potty training picture on fb. I normal go on fb while eating my breakfast.

FWIW, I have a friend who posted weekly belly bump pictures and an album of 120+ pictures for the baby's first week. So I am fairly certain potty training pictures are in her future.