NWR: worst week ever :( (long)

pittiemama14

I'm just having a very bad week, and I try not to complain too much about stuff like this but I'm so fed up and need a place to vent.

This week the kids in my class (I have two year olds) have been complete and utter MONSTERS. I had a kid bite me and spit in my face today, another hit a kid and gave her bloody nose, and they are just ALL being terrible. And both of my co-teachers have been out all week for various reasons, so I have been by myself all week.

H is not working, and I was recently out of the work for a little over a week because I was really sick, and I'm still not feeling great. My last few paychecks have been a joke, and the bills are piling up, and I'm just feeling very overwhelmed. And H just doesn't seem to understand the problem.

He wants to go to a bar on Saturday night to celebrate a friend's bday, and when I told him we don't have the extra money to go, he got mad at me. I'm trying to get a second job so we have a little money to put in savings and for extras, but it's not working out so well. H also got mad at me about that because he says I'll never see him. It would only be for a few months until we move and he starts getting his stipend (he is starting his PhD program in the fall), but he is still not happy about it.

We also found out today that H did not quailfy for an interview for a fellowship that would have really helped us out financially, but at least there are still teaching and research opportunities available, so were keeping fingers crossed for one of those.

And to top it all off my dog has a growth on his paw that I thought was an abcess, but we took him to the vet last night and turns out it could possibly be cancer. He's only two and the doctor said that it is unlikley and it's probably just a growth that will go away on it's own, but it is still really scary to think about, and I don't get the lab results until next week.

So if you got through all that thanks for listening to me whine. It's nice to just get it all out though.

hikebikebemerry

Sending internet hugs your way!!

That's a rough situation... I wish there was more advice I could give!  

Have you two sat down and written out a budget?  My FI and I recently did, and it was less so for spending (he is super frugal), it kind of gave us both a big picture of where we are financially.  I was really relieved to know that I was contributing more financially than I had though, and he realized that it's not that I'm bad with money, I am just busting my butt to have my student loans paid off ASAP.

I'm also sorry to hear about your pup, a growth recently showed up on my furbaby's nose; I'm monitoring it for now because he freaks out when anyone minus myself or FI try to touch his face.  (He is a rescue, you can pet his face, but don't try to force him to keep his head still!!)  And where the little growth is, he couldn't even be muzzled, so I'd have to have him sedated, which always worries me.  I am pretty sure that it's just a skin tag, but it's so hard to not worry about our furbabies!!  My pup is who I turn to when I have a rough day/ week.

pittiemama14

Yeah my dog is my baby so I'm very worried about him.

And as far as budget goes yes, we have a very detailed budget outlined, but now the "fun money" and what we put in savings is gone, because my paychecks have been terrible (not getting as many hours as normal/out for sickness), hence the trying to find a second job, but I don't think H really gets it. He is awful with money and really has nothing to do with our finances. I take care of all of it. His parents paid for everything for him, he never had a job or bills or financial responsibilities. So his concept of money is non exsistent. I on the other hand have been working and supporting my self since I was 15, so I just kind of took on that role after we moved in together, and that's how it's stayed.

APDSS22

If he's not really involved with the money, I could see how he wouldn't realize how much the finances have taken a dip. His petulant reaction worries me a little bit though. Maybe you could show him the actual break down of the money? Even if he doesn't fully understand it, a total pretty close to $0 should be obvious. I got peed on by a dalmatian at the dog park and had to drive home with wet, smelly pants on Tues. if that makes you feel any better. Also had a surprise home inspection on Valentine's Day (as in, they tried to unlock the door with the key from the rental company who hadn't informed us because they called the wrong number which set off the alarm. I got to run home from work thinking we had been broken into...again. Surprise! It was just a nice home inspector.) Also have an elderly family member in the hospital and can't visit her because I can't get off work to travel a couple states over where they are. Then we got audited at work where my hours have been slowly decreasing for no apparent reason (when they're supposed to stay steady every week) and my job basically covers 1/3 of the total audit material. Oh and the bank people asked me yesterday how my Valentines Day was *smacks forehead*. (Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim, swim!) ETA: No idea why paragraphs aren't showing up, SORRY!

erinlin25

yikes, that is a rough week.  Hope it gets better, so sending internet hug   Finances can be tricky and I am sure it is stressful handling it on your own.  Wanting to do something and being able to actually do it can be a whole new story. I would be overwhelmed too if all of that was on me.  I primarily take care of the majority of the bills right now, but H and I own a business together so his "income" mainly goes back to the business where as my income is what we live off of technically.  But we are partners in budgeting and picking and choosing the extra's we do.  We had to drastically cut back on eating out and our extra expenses when we moved into a house but that is how life goes.  I hope your H realizes that as much you don't want him to "not go" it is simply due to being on a limited income this month.  Show him the finances and see if there is a way you can squeeze $20 bucks or so for him to celebrate with his friend, but if not he needs understand that is how it goes sometimes.  You getting a 2nd job should not be the only fix.   Do you have an emergency credit card or anything like that to help get you through times like this?  Sometimes just having a little back up can help.  And If your H wants to do extra's he needs to contribute.  It is a little selfish of him to not have the financial burden and then get mad at you when there is no extra money for the extras.   

Bad days at work I'm sure makes it worse, so I hope your H can understand where you are coming from.  I used to teach Autistic kids so I had my fair share of bad days, meltdowns, etc so I know how extra hard those days can be when you personally are having a hard day on top of it.  Especially with not having your co-teachers to "tap out" when you need a few minutes to re group.  Try to relax a bit and get some you time.  It will get better, and I hope your H helps you out so you know you are not alone.

pittiemama14

@TheFutureMrsRohlam22 I remember you posting about the home inspector..ughhh. And as far as H, He does understand the 0 balance thing, I think he is just as stressed as I am and upset with not getting the interview and grad school stuff, so I don't think he is really mad at me, more the situation.

@erinlin25 He understands why he can't go, it just frustrates him I think because most of his friends either make ALOT more money than we do, or still live at home with their parents, and have like no bills. So they are going to dinner and bars every weekend, and we just can't do that right now. And yes we have an emergency credit card and a savings account, but a bday party at a bar is not what I consider an emergency. We only use it for things like if one of the cars breakdowns or if one of us has to go to the doctor and it isn't covered under the insurance.

Thanks everyone who responded. I'm feeling a little better. It always helps to talk it out, even if it's with internet strangers.

erinlin25

pittiemama14 said:

@TheFutureMrsRohlam22 I remember you posting about the home inspector..ughhh. And as far as H, He does understand the 0 balance thing, I think he is just as stressed as I am and upset with not getting the interview and grad school stuff, so I don't think he is really mad at me, more the situation. @erinlin25 He understands why he can't go, it just frustrates him I think because most of his friends either make ALOT more money than we do, or still live at home with their parents, and have like no bills. So they are going to dinner and bars every weekend, and we just can't do that right now. And yes we have an emergency credit card and a savings account, but a bday party at a bar is not what I consider an emergency. We only use it for things like if one of the cars breakdowns or if one of us has to go to the doctor and it isn't covered under the insurance. Thanks everyone who responded. I'm feeling a little better. It always helps to talk it out, even if it's with internet strangers.

yes yes, I was not intending to use that the cc for the bar, but more so an outlet to diffuse the overload stress from the bills piling up and being on a limited budget this month  

APDSS22

I've found it's especially true with internet strangers.  Especially doggie stuff, that can be very scary/worry-making.  Just remind him you guys at least don't have to worry about parents walking in on your "alone time"...

pittiemama14

Thanks again ladies!

Cookie Pusher

pittiemama14

Awwwwwww I love it!